What helped your child through college/university?

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Hi everyone, I'm working with my college to help raise awareness to staff about students with autism/asperger's in the classroom. Was there anything that really helped your child through college/university or even high school? Or anything you want staff to know?

What Helped: Staying out of trouble; showing up to every class; studying hard; completing all of his assignments; turning in his assignments before the deadline; and having no social life to speak of.

To the Staff: Kick the bullies out, and don't let them back in no matter how wealthy their parents are or how much they threaten to sue you and/or the school system.

I think that one thing that teachers/professors need to understand is that sometimes people on the spectrum do not appear to show due respect. They appear to "talk back" or sometimes even "talk down" to adults and other authority figures. In my experience, this is not due to lack of respect. Both of my kids (and I) have a very strong need to explain things, and sometimes it appears argumentative. We also ask what appears to be a endless barrage of questions. Often people in authority perceive this as us questioning "them" or their authority. It isn't meant that way. It is meant to make sure we understand the concepts underlying whatever the construct at hand is.

For my son, he must never be given a 0 for late homework. His homework is not late due to laziness or lack of motivation. It is due to executive dysfunction. They can dock him points, but he should always have an extra credit opportunity presented to make those up. This way his grade reflects what he knows, not his executive dysfunction. This is difficult for many teachers to understand.

^^^ I echo most of what InThisTogether said.

I am going to speak about the experience through high school since my son isn't in college yet.

I should also note that my son and I despise the currently popular grading rubrics, where doing the work effectively takes precedence over actually learning the material. Just to give an example of how unrealistically that plays out, my son never got better than a B in science in Middle School, yet he had a PERFECT SCORE on the 8th grade Star test. The same pattern has carried through high school and hinders his ability to get into a top college, even though he KNOWS the material. The problem with "doing the work" isn't that my son isn't compliant, but a combination of executive function, processing speed, and stress issues. Honestly, I don't know how anyone handles the volume of little stuff my kids have to manage every day; I'd much rather have a deeper, bigger project - as would my son.

The only reason he isn't in all the available AP classes this year is workload. He can handle the material; he can't handle the workload.

Workload, I guess, may mimic future work life, but it doesn't mimic college and, well, shouldn't academics be about KNOWLEDGE?

The other issue is, of course, group work. Finding a compatible group is tricky, and my son can't stomach playing the "politics" it takes to be in the right one. He often ends up going it alone, which doubles or triples the workload of a kid who already struggles with workload. In the right group, he can be amazing; he has learned leadership and team work through boy scouts, so he knows how to be a functioning part of a whole. But too often he has either ended up with kids who either want to throw him out because they think he is "weird," or who want to take advantage of his intelligence and get a free ride. He can't handle either.

We hope these things will be better in college, but who knows.

My son is currently finishing up his first semester at college, so we have limited knowledge. Here's what I think has helped our son so far ....

1. First of all, he has gone to a small college. I highly recommend Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana. There are around 1200 TOTAL students, and a good percentage of those students are international. This works greatly in the favor of kids on the spectrum, as both the international students and my son are both trying to figure out "culture" in college. The international students seem to be much more accepting of odd traits or innocence. Because of this, my son has really been able to socialize on a level he's never experienced before.

2. Try to take 12 credits for the first few semesters. It helps to have those credits include maybe two college-level classes that fit with one's major, but the rest should be fun/non-threatening classes. This gives kids time to adjust to the socializing that is inherent with the college experience.

3. Try to find another nerdy-type person to room with. My son started out with a very nice jock, who immediately wanted to room with other jocks. Then my son went without a roommate for a month or so ... but then got lucky and had another quiet nerd move in with him. It's worked out very nicely since then.

4. Have your student connect as much as possible with the office that works with learning disabled students. They can provide training with tools that these kids use -- at Earlham, they use LiveScribe pens for taking notes (and recording the lecture) in class, then it uploads to the computer. They also use Kurzweil software. My son also uses EVERNOTE a lot when dealing with notes and organizing things.

5. Try to convince you student to join at least three clubs. It helps with socializing initially. Eventually those three clubs dwindle down to one (or none), but in the beginning, it helps to have people to socialize with.

6. Convince your student to have regular meetings with the Teacher's Assistant (TA) for any class that uses them. My son did this in the beginning, but stopped using them as much toward the end of the semester ... and it's his loss. If you can check with a TA to make sure that you're progressing the right way, it beats making mistakes and then handing them in to the professor.

Anyways, this is what I could think of quickly. If you have any questions, just PM me and I'll answer as much as I can.

I concur with this. I would like to add sometimes you may need to read the material three times. If there are questions in the back of the book, do them. Do the examples. If there are definitions, then study the definitions.

With definitions, make flashcards and divide up the amount of time for a group of definitions per day.

Don't Drink, Don't use Drugs and Don't Party. Once in a while, play a game, go out to eat, see a movie just to unwind.



agreed