Balancing home life with work, with special needs kids

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How do you find time to balance work and taking care of one or more special needs children? I've been a SAHM for 12 years to my boys 13, and 8. The 13 year old has ADHD, aspergers, nervous tic disorder, and anxiety unspecified. The 8 year old add. There are ups and downs with their personal challenges in both of their lives. Schools in session now, but soon schools out and baseball for both of them starts. They have time off before half days of summer school start, and then they will need rides to different schools for the half days. I don't think they can be left alone longer than an hour or so together if I find even a part time job : / plus high schools starting next year and my son wants to join different clubs and stuff, which is awesome I want to support him in that especially since has has aspergers, it will be so good for him. I know a lot of kids that age are mature and responsible enough to handle both parents working, or being alone for awhile when parents are working, I really don't think mine are ready for that yet. My husband works full time, but we really could use the extra money, and are struggling financially. IM scared to try pulling off working and balancing the boys needs. I've always stayed home instead of working even part time because I've always felt the boys needed me home with them. I need to duplicate myself by 10 at least lol. I wish I could find something working from home, but most of those kinds of entry level jobs are scams.

My boys are 13 and 11. The 13 yo is ASD and ADHD, the 11 yo is ADHD. I do not leave them home alone for more than an hour or two, mainly because they don't get along most of the time, and I don't want them getting into it when I'm not there. I remember when my brother and I were that age and the fights we would get into after school until our parents came home from work, and we did not have these mental challenges.

So when school is not in session, I either work from home, or take them to my ILs for supervision. I used to do summer camps at the school (it's really day care but "summer camp" sounds more fun), but my oldest has aged out. I have a very flexible boss who allows me to adjust my schedule as I need to. Sometimes, if the kids are out of school and my ILs are not available but I have to be in the office for client meetings, I just bring the kids with me. So flexible job that can be done from home when needed is key to my survival.

Excellent topic. 'Try to find the right balance' for me personally, is about as vague as 'add a dash of salt'. Finding balance seems to be the key to a happy life: balance between work and life, balance between intervening/steering vs backing off, balancing between friendly and advocative, ...

On the work/life balance; I'm a freelance illustrator and graphic designer and I usually work from home. I used to be an Art Director for a mainstream magazine, in the running for high profile jobs that would mean lots of money but also coming home at around 8pm. I chose to concentrate on work I could do from home, kiddo was in daycare back then (afternoon naps, stay until 6pm), but I knew when he'd go to preschool and later school, that would no longer be an option.

Kiddo is 8 now, I pick him up from school at 3:30 pm. We come home, do our little 'sitting session' (some kind of meditation initiation exercise), he then does homework while I finish some work. When he goes to sleep, I do some more work, but only 'low stress low focus' jobs. I also work on Sundays when he's with his dad.

This highly personal and somewhat tinkered construction works for me, so might not be of any use to you. But I'm pretty convinced that the way we work is and will continue changing. Not only special need parents are struggling keeping all the plates in the air, we just have more plates. What we need to do, is to come up with constructions that work for us, for our kids, and for our clients/employers.

Lots of moms I know started freelancing to be able to do just that. This is not for everyone, but it might be an option.

What do you want to do? What can you do? And how do you want to do it?