RE: Kids w/ Classic Autism, PDD-NOS & Speech Delays

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WelcomeToHolland
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08 Feb 2015, 7:48 pm

HisMom wrote:
Well, my personality seems to have undergone quite the change in the last month or so.

I still worry about my son but not so intensely and not so overwhelmingly. It appears that I am finally at that place where I can accept his autism and delays as "it is what it is". I still work with him and teach him every day but the panic and the depression is starting to fade, and I no longer bawl when I see other little kids running around, chatting. maybe my emotions are spent - and that is a good thing. I've been dealing with an emotionally difficult situation these past several weeks (unrelated to autism) so the whole "at peace with autism" is good for me... and even better news for my poor son !


Yay! :D :D :D

By the way, are you thinking about putting him in public school?


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HisMom
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08 Feb 2015, 7:57 pm

WelcomeToHolland wrote:

By the way, are you thinking about putting him in public school?


Hellloooo, Ms. Holland ! :D

Nope, not just yet. Maybe next year or so (provided they give him 1:1 and provided he is finally toilet trained). Let's see how this all works out !


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cyberdad
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09 Feb 2015, 3:40 am

HisMom wrote:
Well, my personality seems to have undergone quite the change in the last month or so.
I still worry about my son but not so intensely and not so overwhelmingly. It appears that I am finally at that place where I can accept his autism and delays as "it is what it is". I still work with him and teach him every day but the panic and the depression is starting to fade, and I no longer bawl when I see other little kids running around, chatting. maybe my emotions are spent - and that is a good thing. I've been dealing with an emotionally difficult situation these past several weeks (unrelated to autism) so the whole "at peace with autism" is good for me... and even better news for my poor son !


Glad to hear it! don't panic if things hit the fan again down the track and your negative feelings return, once you've coped with it once then it becomes much easier to manage the next time. Hopefully there won't be a next time :)

HisMom wrote:
Good thing World Cup is starting next week. Should keep me entertained and occupied for the next few weeks ! Are you going to watch the finals live, CyberDad ? It's in Melbourne, isn't it ? Bet you're hoping for a Baggy Greens vs Proteas final, yeah ? :D


I've been too hooked on the tennis Hismom. Did you watch the Australian Open?



HisMom
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09 Feb 2015, 12:16 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Glad to hear it! don't panic if things hit the fan again down the track and your negative feelings return, once you've coped with it once then it becomes much easier to manage the next time. Hopefully there won't be a next time :)


I am not sure about "next times". When he didn't talk at 2, I thought that he'd talk at 3. When he didn't talk at 3, I thought that he'd talk at 5. Well, 5 has come and is going now and he still doesn't say a word. So it's time to be more realistic about it and make realistic plans to help him achieve the best potential for *him*. I guess the initial phase of "it is what it is" was the hardest. I've been through all 4 stages by now - denial, anger, grief and acceptance - took me a long time to get here but finally there.

It's still difficult but the acceptance that his language development may end up being minimal or even non-existent makes it easier.

TT-ing is still a challenge. He gets trained, and stays trained for several weeks, then regresses right back into diapers. We've had him medically examined and the physicians say that it's all "behavioral", nothing medical about it at all. So we're at our wits' end, and want to get some self-help skills in place. His visual performance skills are also poor, but we keep working on them. He's inching along there, so the good thing is that there's still "progress", no matter how slow / minimal.


cyberdad wrote:
I've been too hooked on the tennis Hismom. Did you watch the Australian Open?


Nope. Too busy watching all the warm up matches to the World Cup, especially any that involve the Proteas ! :)


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
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That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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11 Feb 2015, 1:51 am

HisMom wrote:
I am not sure about "next. times". When he didn't talk at 2, I thought that he'd talk at 3. When he didn't talk at 3, I thought that he'd talk at 5. Well, 5 has come and is going now and he still doesn't say a word. So it's time to be more realistic about it and make realistic plans to help him achieve the best potential for *him*. I guess the initial phase of "it is what it is" was the hardest.


He's still in the potential phase. My daughter didn't start using sentences around 6. At 5 his brain will go through big developmental changes relating to communication. Yes I went through the same with my daughter. We thought her comprehension would click when she started speaking, but she's 9 now and we are still waiting. I think part of the reason is interest. When she interested in something (at the moment it''s recycling and garbage!!) then she will get more verbose.

Find something your young man is interested in and poke him/nudge him to say something....

HisMom wrote:
Nope. Too busy watching all the warm up matches to the World Cup, especially any that involve the Proteas ! :)


I don't fancy their chances against Australia. Even with Steyn and Philander they don't have Graham Smith or Kallis anymore. Australia have such as strong bowling/batting lineup they would be unlucky to lose.



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17 Feb 2015, 5:04 am

cyberdad wrote:
I don't fancy their chances against Australia. Even with Steyn and Philander they don't have Graham Smith or Kallis anymore. Australia have such as strong bowling/batting lineup they would be unlucky to lose.


NZ have one of the best teams we have ever had at the moment. Bookies have Australia as favourites of course, and South Africa and NZ close together which looks about right to me. I don't think many of the other teams looks so good which is a shame.
But..it's cricket after all, and all it takes is someone like an Afridi on a given day to go ballistic and it all changes, and there's the beauty of it.



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18 Feb 2015, 5:15 am

Bookies never get it wrong :wink:



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18 Feb 2015, 7:46 pm

Meh, I don't care who wins, actually, as long as there is some scintillating cricket going on ! :D

I have to say though that - despite being an ardent Proteas fan - I was shocked to see the Windies' debacle against SA in their recent test series. Whatever happened to them ? Innings defeat and all ? I remember a time when the joke was that you shake a tree in the West Indies and a few fast bowlers and some mighty batsmen would fall out. I remember the likes of Marshall, Richards, Llyod, Lara, Big Bird, Walsh and Ambrose.

Are these guys so busy these days pushing a ball through a stupid hoop that they don't have time of the time for the greatest game ever played ? How the mighty have fallen ! It makes me really angry to think about it.

Anyway, you never answered my question, CyberDad ! Are you going to watch the finals live ? Or would that depend on the teams playing ? He he !


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


Last edited by HisMom on 18 Feb 2015, 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2015, 7:51 pm

Are you a fan of Brian Lara?



cyberdad
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19 Feb 2015, 5:33 am

HisMom wrote:
Meh, I don't care who wins, actually, as long as there is some scintillating cricket going on ! :D

I have to say though that - despite being an ardent Proteas fan - I was shocked to see the Windies' debacle against SA in their recent test series. Whatever happened to them ? Innings defeat and all ? I remember a time when the joke was that you shake a tree in the West Indies and a few fast bowlers and some mighty batsmen would fall out. I remember the likes of Marshall, Richards, Llyod, Lara, Big Bird, Walsh and Ambrose.


Over the last 30 years the best and fastest young West Indians have been attracted by International athletics (Husain Bolt) or American football.

HisMom wrote:
Anyway, you never answered my question, CyberDad ! Are you going to watch the finals live ? Or would that depend on the teams playing ? He he !


I'll watch the finals but have not had time to catchup with the current matches. I think the WI were defeated by Ireland. Quite embarrassing!



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11 Mar 2015, 6:27 pm

Well, CyberDad, Australia looks formidable going into the quarter finals, as do the Black Caps. As a hard core Proteas fan, I am bitterly disappointed with their performance so far. Been watching every game, and beginning to get an idea of how this is all going to play out (most likely a case of the co-hosts clashing in the finals) ? But you never now - and that is part of the thrill of cricket. Sangakkara looks to be in superb form, and he may yet change Sri Lanka's fortunes so ....

As for autism -- still working on getting him TT-ed and it's slowwww. No real changes here. How about the rest of you ?


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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12 Mar 2015, 1:42 am

HisMom wrote:
Well, CyberDad, Australia looks formidable going into the quarter finals, as do the Black Caps. As a hard core Proteas fan, I am bitterly disappointed with their performance so far. Been watching every game, and beginning to get an idea of how this is all going to play out (most likely a case of the co-hosts clashing in the finals) ? But you never now - and that is part of the thrill of cricket. Sangakkara looks to be in superb form, and he may yet change Sri Lanka's fortunes so ....


Yes Sangakkara is certainly faring well. 4 centuries!! you cant beat the bookmakers Hismom! they had Australia at short odds to win this tournament, but I think the blackcaps will give the Aussies a real challenge...

HisMom wrote:
As for autism -- still working on getting him TT-ed and it's slowwww. No real changes here. How about the rest of you ?


Sorry, don't want to turn this thread into a "Cyberdad - Cybergirl" blog. Hope others feel free to contribute as this thread has died off recently.

The good news is my 9 yr old ASD daughter is becoming quite independent at school. Today she went the entire day with an aide! I could never have even imagined this a few years ago. On the negative side she has a short fuse. Her current obsession is recycling and bins. She went ballistic this afternoon when she came home from school to find she missed the garbage truck. Made unreasonable requests about the bins not being empty until the trucks returned and then had a meltdown :(

Hopefully everyone focuses on the gains their kids make (however small) and not worry about the lag/lack of progress in other areas. If I worried about the fact my daughter has no friends outside of school or that she has many years of catching up to get to the level of social skills of her peers then I too would be driven to cognitions about how slow progress is!



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12 Mar 2015, 6:12 am

cyberdad wrote:
Yes Sangakkara is certainly faring well. 4 centuries!! you cant beat the bookmakers Hismom! they had Australia at short odds to win this tournament, but I think the blackcaps will give the Aussies a real challenge...


Bookies are human too and make mistakes ! I will refuse to believe that the Proteas are done and dusted until they really are done and dusted (I am quite the optimist sometimes :) ). The Kiwis are very dangerous - especially that new ball duo of Southee and Boult ! Going forward I think that Sangakkara's wicket will be crucial, as will be McCallum's, Warner's, Amla's, de Villiers', and Kohli's (my layperson rating). Sad that WCC is coming to an end - was an awesome distraction from the 24/7 autism reading / living / breathing, but c'est la vie. All good things come to an end ..! !

cyberdad wrote:
The good news is my 9 yr old ASD daughter is becoming quite independent at school. Today she went the entire day with an aide! I could never have even imagined this a few years ago. On the negative side she has a short fuse. Her current obsession is recycling and bins. She went ballistic this afternoon when she came home from school to find she missed the garbage truck. Made unreasonable requests about the bins not being empty until the trucks returned and then had a meltdown :(


Wow that is awesome that she can handle such long hours in a mainstream classroom ! !! Congratulations !

Regarding her current interests - how about a trip to a local landfill or recycling center then with any junk that you can find / borrow ? And maybe a trip to City Hall to learn about their service schedules ? Not saying that she should be rewarded for her meltdowns but this might help her understand why garbage and recycling needs to be picked up every week (and can't wait) and disposed off and all about how the local municipality handles such an important service ?

cyberdad wrote:

Hopefully everyone focuses on the gains their kids make (however small) and not worry about the lag/lack of progress in other areas. If I worried about the fact my daughter has no friends outside of school or that she has many years of catching up to get to the level of social skills of her peers then I too would be driven to cognitions about how slow progress is!


We are coming to terms with the fact that speech may not be on his agenda for a while (if ever) and changed our focus to communication - signs / PECS instead. Our current area of focus is also self-help skills as that can make a dramatic difference to the quality of his life (and therefore ours). We no longer worry as much about the slowness (is that even a word ?) of progress as much as the fact that some / any progress is still being made !

As an aside - my keyboard is missing the 'i' and the 'k' keys (in addition to the ',' key and the number eight). It took me over 40 minutes to type up this post as I had to cut and paste those missing alphabets into the post to make this halfway readable !


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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13 Mar 2015, 2:20 am

HisMom wrote:
Bookies are human too and make mistakes ! I will refuse to believe that the Proteas are done and dusted until they really are done and dusted (I am quite the optimist sometimes :) ). The Kiwis are very dangerous - especially that new ball duo of Southee and Boult ! Going forward I think that Sangakkara's wicket will be crucial, as will be McCallum's, Warner's, Amla's, de Villiers', and Kohli's (my layperson rating). Sad that WCC is coming to an end - was an awesome distraction from the 24/7 autism reading / living / breathing, but c'est la vie. All good things come to an end ..! !

It's funny I have not been watching the WCC at all due to casual work in evenings. I agree with your assessment that key batsmen are critical to the top teams success. I feel Australia go really deep. While the other teams have one good batsman (Kohli, De Villiers, Sangakarra and McCallum) Australia have Warner but also have Finch, Clarke, Maxwell and Smith who are all capable of completely ripping a bowling attack to pieces. When you combine this with Starc and Mitchell with the ball then it's an unbeatable combination.

HisMom wrote:
Wow that is awesome that she can handle such long hours in a mainstream classroom ! ! ! Congratulations ! regarding her current interests - how about a trip to a local landfill or recycling center then with any junk that you can find / borrow ? And maybe a trip to City Hall to learn about their service schedules ? Not saying that she should be rewarded for her meltdowns but this might help her understand why garbage and recycling needs to be picked up every week (and can't wait) and disposed off and all about how the local municipality handles such an important service ?

I'm keen for her to find other interests as she currently has a compulsion to go through people's bins (curiosity of course!) which can be embarrassing. Various neighbors were perplexed when they saw her opening and examining the contents of their bins!! I had to make up an excuse that she was just bored...I don't think they bought it. She's currently looking at recycling trucks on the computer.

HisMom wrote:
We are coming to terms with the fact that speech may not be on his agenda for a while (if ever) and changed our focus to communication - signs / PECS instead. Our current area of focus is also self-help skills as that can make a dramatic difference to the quality of his life (and therefore ours). We no longer worry as much about the slowness (is that even a word ?) of progress as much as the fact that some / any progress is still being made !

Yes, although I don't know your son, I would advise its important to be realistic over your expectations at his relative progress. Having said that always be open to try new things and see what activates his interests/individual strengths.

HisMom wrote:
As an aside - my keyboard is missing the 'i' and the 'k' keys (in addition to the ',' key and the number eight). It took me over 40 minutes to type up this post as I had to cut and paste those missing alphabets into the post to make this halfway readable !


Oh! sorry to hear that! you are one of the few WP members I've maintained a long term contact with so I appreciate the effort you take with your posts :)



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02 Apr 2015, 2:52 am

Looks like the bookies were right this time around, Cyber Dad. Congratulations !

Although, I must say, I Haddinough of the sledging - and his boorish, drunken interview the day after ! Moral of the story - stay away from the media when you're ...er... "celebrating" ?

Anyway, I wish it hadn't ended. The last several weeks have been such a welcome distraction from the daily deal with autism.. nothing until the Summer now. ARGH !

What's up with everyone else here ? All well ?


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


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02 Apr 2015, 7:16 am

Eh ... I've had a a lot of issues through the last few months that I wanted to discuss on here but am too uncomfortable to post much anymore on account of changes that were made to the site.