Making eye contact with people

Post Reply New Topic

Think about the last time you were in a situation where you had to talk to people in a face to face kind of situation. When you talk with them, do u look at one eye, both eyes at once, or inbetween both?

None of the above. I can't formulate thoughts properly while looking into eyes. It makes me flustered, as if I'm holding hands with them or something. It's embarrassingly personal.

I don't either. I think I do more of a wide-lense view of them, if that makes any kind of sense. I don't zoom in.

Just so you know, apparently NTs don't really have an issue with this unless they are under a lot of pressure. The reason that is relevant is that there isn't a protocol.

I usually just stumble through things when I'm not sure - but I have a friend who has success looking people in the bridge of the nose.

There are some good suggestions here: http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/6 ... ct-skills/

i barely even look at their face, i usually "shut off my eyesight", i dont focus on anything i just listen, it may look like im looking the other way and not even paying attention but im just processing everything the person is saying.

I look at the mouth. It really helps me understand what they're saying and focus on their voice. OTher wise, if I don't, their voice starts to belnd in with background noise and I can't understand them anymore. I also usually need subtitles when I'm watching TV too. my hearing is fine. Better than fine even. My guess is that it's some sort of auditory processing issue.

I prefer to look at their mouth because I have CAPD and it helps me make sense of what they are saying. When I make eye contact naturally (not thinking about it), I don't know what I do because I don't think about it. But whenever I become aware of the concept of "eye contact" I have a harder time understanding what they are saying because I am paying attention to trying to figure out where exactly to look.

When I was younger, I was told that I tend to make too much eye contact. "Boring into and ripping out my soul" is how one person described it. Up until then, I always thought I had "good" eye contact LOL! Since then, eye contact makes me feel self conscious because I am never sure if I am doing it "right." I also have tried to watch other people to see if I can figure out how they do it, but for some reason, I can't figure out which eye they are looking at, or if they are switching back and forth, or what.

Fortunately for me, I have a well-known "quirk" in which I look away from people when I am trying to formulate my thoughts. I look up. Most people have learned to interpret this as me being "thoughtful." It gives me opportunities not to make eye contact and not have people really pay attention to it.

There are some people who I have a very easy time making eye contact with. I am not really sure what makes the difference.