Son won't wear his glasses - ideas??

Post Reply New Topic

Ean needs glasses. He is far sighted, so without glasses, he cannot draw, read, or write. He is 6 years old and learning his letters and numbers so it's very important that he be able to see.

We saw a pediatric ophthalmologist who sees many children with special needs, including infants. I am confident that the prescription is correct due to the eye doctor's skill and experience.
We spent two hours choosing frames that looked nice (in his opinion) and felt right on his face. He really liked them. He wanted a strap to hold them on his head, and chose several cool ones.

But two weeks later when the glasses came in, he refused to wear them, with or without the strap.

Reasons Ean cannot wear glasses:
They feel weird above his ear
They hurt above his ear
They feel weird on his nose
They feel like they will slide off
He is worried they will get broken
He is worried they will get broken and cut his eyes
He is worried that other children will laugh at him
He is afraid the cops will come and arrest him because of his glasses
He hates them

The cop thing is his go-to anxiety. Anytime something is different or out of routine, he worries the cops are coming.

We have had the glasses adjusted repeatedly to make them comfortable. He is fine with them when we leave the ophthalmologists office, but within a few minutes he takes them off and makes dinosaur sounds. I cannot convince him to even try the glasses for a few moments.

How can I help him learn to wear his glasses?

Hmm well I'd suggest contacts, but not sure if 6 is too young or not.

I know you say you have the utmost confidence in the skill of your pediatric ophthalmologist, but can it be absolutely certain the prescription is right?

Even a slightly off prescription can make looking through glasses an uncomfortable experience.

Mine are supposed to be the correct prescription, yet in six years of trying I have never been able to tolerate wearing them.

Mine are either the wrong prescription (even a little bit) or it's the peripheral vision that is messing up my brain.

Are your son's glasses' lenses large enough to give him a large field of vision or might he be getting distracted by the peripheral vision he can see "around" the outside of the glasses? Because that seems to freak me out. To this day I can only wear mine if sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead at the TV.

When I've worn mine out to the shops, I wanted to tear them off my face and make dinosaur sounds too!!

On the other hand, I LOVE my contact lenses. I have no sensory and no vision problems with them.

I have no idea if a child of six is too young to be allowed to wear them, but they may be an answer, if your son has the same problems I have with glasses.

How patient is the shop where you got the glasses? Would they allow him to wear his glasses in the shop for a little reading and writing activity? They might spot something is off in the process of observing him moving about and could perhaps explain things to him.

For instance it can take several days to a week to adjust to a new prescription with constant wear, though I adjust within hours to a day or two if I am going to. However with any new prescription or even an adjustment it is normal to feel a bit strange looking at the world. He may not know how to express that and it may frighten him.

I get the impression from what you wrote he is scared. Do you wear glasses and can explain these things? If not perhaps a friend could help too in addition to whatever the staff can offer. But that is my guess what it is. He is accustomed to seeing the world without glasses and it confuses his brain to have corrected vision, he doesn't understand more than that things don't feel right. He may go along if he can come to believe this is natural and temporary.

I would also consider a reward for wearing the glasses for a set period of time per day to try to help him acclimate. At home so you can see he does and reward him immediately. Maybe reading a book in your lap and wearing the glasses to see the pretty pictures as you do the reading if he likes sitting in your lap or near you and being read to? Just brainstorming and hope something might help.....

My 50 something year old Aspie husband just got glasses last year.

HATE! With the passion of a zillion firey suns.

He is beyond far sighted. DH can't see things within 3 ft of him.

It affects how he looks to other people, because it looks like he is frowning. He looks confused like a dementia patient.

He can't see what he eats.

No chance of contacts.

I got aggravated. DH picked out his frames. The guy took forever to fit him. The prescription is correct. He just hates glasses on his face. It wouldn't matter what frames, the fact that this is an unwelcomed change is enough for him.

I suggested wearing them x amount of minutes a day, and increase it by one minute the next day. With your son, does he have something he could work towards via a sticker chart? Some little treat, and more time, bigger treats?

My husband became less anxious as he realized he could actually see what is near him.

I would start off at one minute and work my way up. I would tell him this is how we take care of our body. When we can't see well we get head aches and eye strain and this makes our body "sore, sad, unhappy...whatever adjective will work".

I would get the prescription check just because, but somethings you don't have a choice, but you do have have a choice on how fast or slow you can acclimate.

HTH.. ♡

Sometimes my glasses feel uncomfortable on me and they will hurt my ears sometimes so what i do about it is put my hair there and have my glasses rest on top of it so I have padding between my skin and glasses. I also move my glasses a little forward so they are not hurting me. I can see anything up close but anything far away is all blurry. I can still see but I can't see detail because it's all blurry. Sometimes I just take them off so I can rest my skin and I can still see this forum and what I am typing.

I was never able to adjust to hearing aids because sound was too loud. Maybe his vision is too sharp, at least for now?

It took me a bit of practice to get used to my glasses and there not always comfortable. I got ones that I liked the view out of, but, more importantly had the solid plastic nose bridge part rather than the clear plastic bits attached by wire as all those felt odd on my nose.

Can he get sports goggles? The lenses are shatterproof and you can get ones that have rubber cushioning like swimming goggles (you can even get prescription swimming goggles.) I found these on google, but know nothing about these particular ones: http://www.opticsplanet.com/bobster-cru ... me-rx.html

You could practice with plain swimming or snow goggles first, too.

Try getting him to wear them for a brief period in exchange for some kind of reward. Then gradually up the time until he can wear them long enough that he forgets he's wearing them.

If he is like me it is the fear of being seen with glasses and the anxiety that comes with it. I knew At age 12 i needed them for distance however only began wearing them at like 23 because I started getting extremely bad headaches which combined with the fact that I was no longer in school meant that the glasses were not a bad trade off. Also helped that many other people my age wear them now. I imagine at six almost no other kids in class need them. I also prefer plastic frames, the wire ones really drove me crazy around my ears and on my nose after awhile.

I think there might be a deeper problem with the "cops are coming" anxiety. Why does he think every little thing will get him arrested by the cops? Has he seen negative stuff about them on TV? Has he heard adults say cops are bad and evil and brutal and racist? That's not good because if he is in danger he might need the police to help him. Just saying.

I think you should go with the reward system. Wear them for a day - get a reward.
I'm not surprised he's scared. Do kids pick on him at school? I worry about that. They may not recognize that some people need glasses to see better.

The whole "cops are bad" thing is not good, but you hear it EVERY DAY in the media. Today we had that shooting in California, last month the one in Paris. And how many times have there been protests in the past couple of years against officers? It's a media field day.
I'm hoping you can provide him with a positive explanation of law enforcement. They risk their lives everyday protecting us.

Thinking outside the box -- will they do laser eye correction at this age?

No one will do laser correction on a minor becouse of the likelihood of the prescription changing as they grow.