New on here...... Advice please

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lanaeva
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14 Feb 2016, 8:13 am

Hi, I'm new on here and need some advice to help my 19 yr old daughter ... Diagnosed at 17 with atypical autism. She is refusing to go to her voluntary job any longer (very nice quiet little charity shop with mix of people and abilities) and doesn't have any friends... She spends all her time sat on her bed on her iPad ...she's looking withdrawn and is lethargic and had motivation to do anything. She doesn't sit with us as a family and will only eat alone, she will go out if I take her (as often as I can) but I have a full time job at a school, so she is having a lot of time being isolated ! Is there any advice you can offer... Or support groups/ self help that can help her as I'm very concerned about her mental health as I can see her going downhill. Thanks in advance xx



ASDMommyASDKid
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14 Feb 2016, 10:01 am

She sounds depressed. I don't know how good she is at expressing emotions. Emotions can be very hard to express for some people with autism. I would try to find a calm moment and ask her how she is and what is wrong. Maybe the job isn't as nice as you think. Maybe people are mean or she feels ostracized. Depression may be a chemical imbalance, but the trigger is usually a real-life actual thing. Her feeling isolated and alone could be enough even if people are mean but do not want a deeper relationship, if this is a thing she wants.

Of the isolation is the issue, she may need help finding groups centered around a special interest where she is more likely to find people she may connect with, as opposed to just random people at a job.



KariLynn
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14 Feb 2016, 10:34 am

Welcome. She needs interests. If she is not already clinically depressed, she is likely to become so. The IPAD is acting as a pacifier. She needs to do some kind of constructive activity at least 20 hours per week, and limit screen time to less than 3 hours per day. Will she stop eating if food is only available to her at family meals? If not, force her to eat as a family. Do you have a Community Garden she can volunteer at? I would find something she can engage in, then figure out how she can make it an occupation.


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btbnnyr
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14 Feb 2016, 5:34 pm

What does your daughter want to do as an adult?
Does she want to go to school or get a job?
Be independent and support herself in future?
You should ask her what direction she wants to go in her life, and help her figure out how to go about doing that.
You should encourage her to try and become an independent adult in future, able to support herself, for which she will need skills and a job.


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