Aspie/ASD* 7 year old, no iep or 504, bullied relentlessly

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Sorry if this is long or disorganized I was trying to include as many details as I could, not a great writer.......

My son (7 y/o 1st grade) just completed Neuropsych testing and I don't have the results yet, but most likely aspie or asd.

He has already had 2 speech language evaluations and 1 occupational evaluation which all mention his moderate impairments in speech,language,motor, social cues, pragmatics etc etc.
Everyday since he started at his new school(2 months ago), he has been hit multiple times, called names, told he was annoying and basically humiliated. He has had 2 incidents of other kids hitting/kicking him because he accidentally bumped into them, 2 other incidents of random kids hitting him in the head with a backpack and pushing him on the ground at recess - its possible he bumped into the kid and didn't know. He has come home asking me what (st*pid,r*tarded,f*ggot,d*mb and g*y) mean and how he should respond to the kids that call him that.
During a cold, he began clearing his throat a lot at school, kids complained, and the teacher told him to "shush" he was distracting the whole class. The principal supposedly had a talk with the teacher about how she shouldn't have handled it that way. Since then he has been grunting/clearing his throat everyday, the kids in class are obviously complaining about him.
Friday when I picked him up from school his grunting tic was non stop back to back, he told me how at music a boy kicked him twice because he bumped into him. So Monday I will be taking him to a behavioral health clinic before school to see if they can help him with the tic and possibly give me some kind of signed letter that he needs immediate accommodations to continue in school, proof that its affecting his mental health. He has already been to 3 different pediatricians and a ENT in the past month, he has been on steroids, allergy meds, asthma meds, they all agree its a new nervous "tic".
The first iep meeting went nowhere because they said he was "academically" doing better than most of his classmates, however there is another meeting coming up and they are going to "focus" on FBA since the only complaint his teacher has is that he blurts out random answers to questions (math etc) and he "interrupts" her to tell when classmates are doing something wrong. There was no mention of the bullying on their end. I asked about "accommodations" and smaller class size or special ed and was basically told by phone its "to hard" to get into special ed unless your basically wheelchair bound. It took the whole 2 months of him being there just for me to get OT therapy (billed to my insurance) started, and he still does not yet get speech therapy - have gotten the run around no one can seem to communicate with each other.`

I'm trying to get an advocate for the upcoming meeting however it doesn't seem likely, so I'm hoping that some of you here have been through a similar situation and can tell me how you eventually got results. I am going to request a 1-1 aid, smaller class or placement in another school where he can have these accommodations at the meeting. Do you guys think this is reasonable or a possibility? I thought a FBA was for kids who were troublemakers?

Its not easy getting him to communicate, he also has short term memory issues and gets upset recalling events. From what I can gather, and what I deal with even outside of school, pretty much any group of kids he plays with eventually "rejects" him because he cant read social cues, says things that don't make sense, and can be quite clumsy.

I have taken him to 3 different pediatricians in the last 30 days and a ENT over the grunting, they all say there is nothing wrong that would make him constantly make a grunting sound I have given him allergy,asthma meds, steroids, and nasal sprays. I noticed as the last pediatrician said, when you mention it to him he does it more, being around 20+ people all telling him to stop isn't helping much. Thursday and Friday he was pushed / kicked, and those are the days it got worse.

If he gets the diagnosis of ASD I can apply for a few grants to schools on the spectrum, otherwise I don't think we are allowed to switch schools and most likely he will be treated the same.

Thank you for your suggestions

First and foremost he needs a place of safety, before anything else. I don't know how you can achieve that in your state and country, though a legal service may know your options best at this stage.

Record it in some fashion and sue the school. I mean it, if you can sue, sue. Other autistic kids will/are going through that too, and the school is clearly being no help. If you don't, you might regret it one day. Remember to record 504/iep meetings, and professional's notes on what he actually needs. Record everything you can.

Besides that, it may actually be easier to home school. It was for my mom when I was having issues with my middle school.

I am going to the school tomorrow with a written/signed letter that they need to accommodate his disabilities or it won't be safe for him to attend, either they can place him in a smaller class, or give a full time aid, this is obviously an immediate need. I need him in attendance until the iep meeting, I cant even apply to the ASD/sensory friendly schools without an iep or 504. I only live a few blocks away from the school, so I will stop in during the middle of the day to ask my son if he is o.k. Thanks for the advice, will get a recorder tomorrow.

Oh, another thing they keep bringing up is his attendance, saying they cant get a good idea of what help he needs because he is absent a lot (medical and therapy no way around it). Out of 60 days he missed 11, does this have anything to do with them being able to come up with an iep or just another excuse?

I think it might be a good idea to put the idea of taking him out of that school on the plate, perhaps at least look into some other options like maybe another better school, home-schooling ect. Problem is with that kind of relentless bullying it doesn't go away even if he does get more help from the teachers and staff there...he's already the target of those bullies and they will keep at it.

I suffered similar bullying as a kid, but my parents didn't know I had autism so they certainly weren't fighting for accommodations or anything for me. We moved a lot so I had a new chance to start just about every year or couple years or whatever. But I would imagine if I stayed in any places the bullying was really bad it would have just persisted or gotten even worse over the years...as is it took quite a large toll on my mental health.


Around where I live there is a school called an Open School and it has a different style of curriculum than the regular public schools, though it still is a public school...but yeah it has more hands on learning I wish I could have gone there. Perhaps there might be options like that where you live.

So the meeting today was just as I suspected, no iep or 504 just a "behavioral" intervention meeting I guess its the same as "rti"
All they mentioned was his blurting out answers and not raising his hand.
His teacher claims she doesn't notice a grunting tic, how is this possible when she herself told him to shush he was distracting the whole class a few weeks ago. Even today he came home and told me one of his classmates told him to hold his lips together and it will stop.
Also during the meeting I asked would he still be getting occupational therapy during the summer, they told me he wasn't receiving OT therapy that she just evaluated/monitored him - I said that's funny because the therapist has been taking him out of class twice per week and my insurance is being billed.
So I get the game they are playing, ignore the symptoms and avoid having to evaluate.

He also told me today that after leaving from outdoors his stomach was hurting badly and the kids told him to stop whining, his teacher just told him to lay his head down on the desk.
Is this what usually occurs, the teacher just tells the kid to lay their head down instead of sending them to the office? I'm trying not to think that his teacher is treating him with bias, but this is the same woman who says she doesn't "notice" his tic and failed to mention he had started occupational therapy.