Extremely sensitive scalp

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Hi, my 3yr old ASD daughter has a very sensitive head. She hates getting her head wet, we've tried swimming, baths and showers. She has thick curly beautiful hair that I love but it gets very tangled and I have to restrain her to brush it. Won't wear elastics or clips or anything. Going to the hairdresser is awful, complete meltdowns and getting worse. Her hair grows really fast so I have to cut it every month to keep it short.

Has anyone gone through this? Anything I can do to make her head less sensitive? I wonder if I should grow it long and work on brushing or keep it short and work on the hair dressing issues. I just hate the whole thing because she seems in obvious pain. Thanks

i think you should could it really short. My scalp was really sensitive i could stand clips or bobbles anything on my head. and wet hair its just sooo heavy. get it thinned and short. and work on the hairdresser issues and ask the hairdresser to be more gentle

We have dealt with this forever. A few things helped:

We have a hand held shower wand that turns down to very low spray (basically trickling out). She holds it and puts it on her head. By her having the control and with the lower pressure she able to withstand the water.

I do not take her to hairdressers: EVER. I cut her hair basically about once per year. I cut it VERY short in a page boy cut. She has curly hair as well. Luckily curly hair hides a bad haircut.

She washes her hair once, maybe twice per week and at that time we must endure the painful task of brushing out the hair. We use conditioner so this is easier. However, in 7 years it has never gotten to be a pleasant experience.

Each day she has a soft brush which she uses to brush her hair. I don't get too concerned about how well it is brushed. Perhaps that is bad but I am picking my battles and that's not one I pick.

My sibling's hair used to be nothing but knots. We just waited until she was a bit older and then cut the knots out when she was occupied/distracted. Why does it matter if someone's hair is a huge ball of knots?

I wash my hair around twice a week and never brush it. My hair doesn't get knots. Cut someone's hair in layers and it doesn't get all knotty. I used to cry when someone brushed my hair. When I was little I cut my hair short.

I don't think a 3 year old is going to care much how their hair looks or if it is dirty ultimately.

Dirty and knotted hair can be itchy and uncomfortable too, especially if she has a sensitive scalp, I think better to have it short.

A couple of things.... If she really hates to wash it (my son does too) I only require 1x per week, so long as he can get the brush through it. He wants long hair, so he has to make sure the brush can get through it. If he can't, I cut it.

I would comb her hair while the conditioner is still in, before rinsing. There are leave in conditioners that you can spray on to help with tangles in between washes. (this was around when I was a girl crying about having my hair brushed)

depending on how long it is, you can loosly braid it at night to prevent more tangles. (I mean really loose - like it wouldn't look good to leave the house, but it prevents more knots).

I myself, absolutely hate everything about going to the hairdressers...the smells, the feeling of someone else tugging at my hair, the sounds, the chitchat. Awful!

I say keep it a medium length that you can cut yourself at home, like a shoulder-length or just above the shoulder bob. Cut it every couple of months and make hair cutting time a really special event! Talk about it for several days beforehand, maybe making a book or social story about it and doing some practice role playing of exactly what is going to happen. Have her favourite DVD or music playing. Maybe a special toy or book that only comes out at hair cutting time, and a favourite treat to eat afterwards. Make it a hair cutting party!

I agree with only brushing it out when it is wet, using a generous amount of leave in conditioner so the comb (wide toothed) or brush slides through. I use this:

http://www.lacoupe.com/ff_leave_in.html

Maybe the special toy can come out for hair brushing time too? And some more social stories and role playing. And then no barrettes, ponytails etc! I have thick, heavy hair and a sensitive scalp and those things hurt!

The soft brush for her to brush her own hair with every day is a great idea too. I am sure she won't make that much progress with it, but at least she will be learning, and the feel of it may help to desensitize her to having her scalp/hair touched.

Good luck. My mom had these exact same problems with my youngest sister and I. It does get a lot better as soon as she is really old enough to brush and wash her own hair, somehow that doesn't hurt nearly as much as someone else doing it.

Just cut it! If she doesn't care, neither should you. My mother forced long, elaborate hairstyles on me for years, contributing to many breakdowns. I have had a pixie cut my entire adult life and couldn't be happier with it. I wish the image hadn't mattered to her so much.

I think pixie cuts look really good on woman.
Perhaps i have always secretly been in love with tinker bell and other pixies....