Autism and bullying

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I'm writing an article for Autism Parenting Magazine and looking I'm looking to speak to autistic people who have been bullied, and parents of autistic children who have been bullied.

The article is designed to help other parents of autistic children who are being bullied, and it would be really helpful to get some real life examples of the kind of bullying autistic people face, and also any strategies that you have found helpful to cope with the situation.

I'm also looking to speak with experts on the subject.

Feel free to send me a private message if you prefer not to share publically.

I am autistic and passionate about improving the lives of autistic people, and want to reassure anyone that your information will be used in a positive way.
Here's a link to a recent article I wrote for the website https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com ... notherapy/ and also a link to my website - HTTP://www.lucinda-herbert.com

Not sure what can really be done. I think once a bullying pattern has been established, the likelihood of getting the bullying to stop without cutting contact between bully and victim is probably similar to the likelihood of getting domestic violence to stop without ending the relationship. The only really effective options are to switch school, homeschool, or convince the school to expel the bully.

We were able to pretty quickly stop elementary school bullying with my son because the school community had an overall atmosphere of accepting individual differences. This was a super diverse school in every way possible and parents had a choice on where to send their kids, so they were actively choosing the environment. Parents and teachers uniformly reinforced the message of accepting individual differences. One word of concern to a parent about how their child was treating yours would result in the parent talking to the child about acceptance, and the kids listened. The message was reinforced so much. Not to say it was one and done, but my son felt safe and knew both adults and fellow students would stick up for him. It also helped a lot that one popular student was a friend of his, and it was known at the school that they were friends. That the boys knew and liked each other was the gift of a carpool established way back in kindergarten.

Middle school was more difficult because (1) that is when boys jockey for future social position, and (2) various elementary schools with different community cultures merged together. The administration agreed to try to keep their eyes open more so they could catch anything that was happening "in the act" rather than having a tattle tell situation. With more adults in the vicinity of my son, the kids mostly stopped.

By high school my son had found "his people" and truly stopped caring what anyone else said or did, plus the other boys seemed to have outgrown their need to jockey for social position in any ways that involved my son. People seemed to know him as this smart/talented kid with some quirks and, I guess, the IQ & talent was a bit of an amour, as well. Plus he wasn't interested in their social groups, so maybe there just was no peer social message to send.

Bullying with boys tends to be fairly obvious and can be handled quietly by doing things like keeping more adults near. Bully with girls is often far too subtle for these techniques,

My 7 year old has pretty severe ADHD and is sometimes quite annoying to other children (and adults). He is popular sometimes too. It just depends.

Autistic children have gone out of their way many times to teach him social skills, shelter him from bullying, and make sure he is included in groups. He usually has trouble following what is going on in groups. There is usually an autistic friend next to him who has taken it upon himself to explain things to him. Sometimes an autistic child hurts his feelings with a thoughtless matter of fact remark. My child thinks the other one was "bullying". If the other kid is friends with him, I can step in and say to the other what my kid thinks and the kid will clarify. This resolves things.

Bullying is a huge issue for autistic people and 90% of the time they are the targets. Don't get me wrong. But I have seen autistic children as leaders in friendships with my son and they can have wonderful strength. So I wanted to mention that.

Since this is still on the subject about bullying, all thanks to the internet and social media this had in the last 2-3 decades unleashed a different type of bullying - CYBER BULLYING.

This is another method of bullying that puts chills down my spine since I am an autistic YouTube creator. I feel in the sense once dudes like me take on YouTubing and YouTube blogging, we each have targets on our backs. It's like that the bully don't need to bully face to face, they can go anonymous and do whatever they want online as they could somewhat get away with it.

It's almost cyberbullies can hide behind computer monitors and almost like they're wearing their Guy Fawkes mask bullying their targets as entertainment. This is like a type of bullying that didn't happen in the 20th Century, but a new type of bullying for the 21st Century and beyond. I had explained all about cyberbullying in the video that I had recently uploaded. Every time when "Autism & Bullying" is brought up, I am already in the habit of bringing up cyber bullying.

I do not know if I am on the spectrum or not, but a few things I will say.

One is the school enviroment is a torture in itself especially today. It was bad enough when I was in school but at least due to physical punishment the classrooms were quiet so I could work.

The cages they put in schools today would mean that I would not be able to go in as this would be continually on my mind. I hated the feeling of being trapped.

Then comes the physical and mental bullying. I would rarely admit to this but it was pretty often and sometimes by the whole class through hidden examples.
Example. I was slow writing as I could not get my brain to work fast enough to get my hand to write fast. So when I was copying from the blackboard or when dictation took place I was unable to keep up. Then I would be told to take someones book home to copy, but no one would lend their books.
However, if a popular kid was off ill and needed to copy up, this kid would have a choice of many kids offering their books. This is what life was like in school.

It does not end out of school, but we are concentrating on school.

I would also find that I became a target for classroom indirect bullying for some teachers (Not many) who would pick on me to make themselves look big in front of the class. I would be told off for being too quiet, or for doing nothing wrong at all, and made to feel humiliated. One elderly teacher asked my parents that if I was naughty was it ok to physically punish me? My Dad said yes, of course. This teacher then went on her bullying campaign and hit me when I got a word wrong as she taught the Welsh language and I am hopeless at languages... She would often shout at me right next to my face and punch my sholders etc. This was what Welsh lessons were like for me and one reason why when young I hated anything Welsh. The next Welsh teacher who I had for a year was lovely before I dropped Welsh as soon as I was allowed (Form 3 at the age of 13), but the cane and physical punishment was no longer allowed and what this meant was that suddenly the classrooms became noisy as children knew they could get away with talking and teachers had to shout... All this noise meant that the classrooms became horrible places for me to cope with. The lessons I did well in happened to be the ones in which the teachers had control over the noise levels.

I have not really mentioned the physical bullying as a child from other kids. My Dad used to do boxing as did his brother (My uncle), but I could not throw a punch if I tried. But my Dad would try to teach me to punch back but as I physically lose my strength in the moment, I just became a human punchbag and had to stand there while being hit.
I had immensly powerful legs due to cycling and I could have easily broken other kids legs, and I could have easly decked other kids who tried to fight me using my legs, but I was taught never to do this and if my Dad had known I did I would be in worse trouble then the bully would have ever given me, so I did not kick. I would just stand there... Which attracted other bullies.