Puberty and Aspie boys !

Post Reply New Topic

I'm new here, this is my first post, but I don't know where else to turn for help right now.

My 12 year old son with AS has shown serious signs of depression lately, nothing unusual and we normally deal with it ok, but tonight was different.

I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said if he did it would "destroy" him. He told me he's done something really bad but can't tell anyone what it is.

There are no signs of anything being done that's so bad, so I'm kinda thinking now that maybe he's going through some hormonal changes due to an early onset of puberty.

My question really is to any parents of boys that have already gone through this or anything similar. Is this normal behaviour? What do I do about it? Any advice or suggestions are much appreciated on this very sensitive and heart breaking issue.

I thank you for reading and for any advice you may be able to offer us.

My heart goes out to you. Depression is a serious concern in all age groups, from children to the elderly, and should be taken seriously. No advice, just lots of hugs.

a counselor could help. Many kids including my 13 yo AS son will talk to a counselor about things they are uncomfortable discussing with you. If counseling isn't an option for you, maybe a member of the clergy can help. Hugs to you too.

I second the advice to get counseling.

We went through some depression with our 21 year old (who is now a happy and well-adjusted young man) when he was age 10 through 14. I think that depression at this age is common for many young men, AS or NT, but especially so for young men who are cerebral rather than athletic. I've seen it time and time again within the small community that I live in -- even with boys who are good-looking, somewhat athletic, and appear to have it all.

We did not get counseling with our older boy, and we should have. If it happens with our 11 year old, I will not hesitate to go for counseling now.

I've just watched, for a year, the 14 year old son of a friend of mine go through a strong depression. He stopped going to school, he stopped going to church, he stopped socializing, etc. They got him counseling, and he is now homeschooled. He is coming to church regularly, and is very well-liked by his peers there. He is NT, and very bright, but not at all athletic. I have no idea what his particular issues were, but he seems to have come out of the dark tunnel and looks happy. I think that counseling can really help.

Kris

Thank you, everybody for your kind replies.

I've decided I should go to our GP and discuss this with him first. As we're in the UK we have to be referred to a counsellor through our doctor, so I plan to go to talk to him tomorrow on my own.

I spoke to the school today and they have provided him with a special needs mentor who will gain his confidence and hopefully get him to open up a bit.

Its so sad right now, because he was doing so well after starting secondary school last year. He was becoming more sociable and much more relaxed in himself and now this has taken us all a good few steps back.

Its a very worrying time, depression can be very hard to deal with for NT adults, never mind the additional problems of being an Aspie child.

Again I would like to extend my utmost thanks for your support and guidance. Big hugs to all of you for showing me there are people out there who understand what we're going through

Hi, Wafta! I've been meaning to post to you about my "3" teenage boys. They are 16, 14 and 13. The oldest and the youngest were diagnosed at the start of the year and the middle one is just filled with teenage angst and hormones. All 3 of them have been going through their own mood swings and troubles and have been to counselling at one point or another over the past year. I set them up with a counsellor so that they would have someone who is unbiased to talk to about the stuff that teenagers face. They all have struggled because being a teenager is hard! I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I would like to write more and will tomorrow. It is supper time here.
You are in the right place for good advice!

I am not reading this thread .... I don't want to know what I have to look forward to

Helen

Hi Wafta, hugs to you, my son is 13 also and I know how difficult it is. He goes to councelling, weekly, that was set up through our GP.

Sometimes, I have found that when my son thinks something is really big, it turns out not to be. I know that doesnt help him, but it might help you relax a bit. My son is tall for his age, and I am sure puberty hit him early. A few years ago, I found really graphic sexual drawings, which only involved men, (hes a great artist!), and this really freaked me out, because when I tried to approach him on it, he cried and shouted at me. In the end he said that he has to draw things which bothered him, and then it would go out of his head??

I often find its better to chat to him when he is involved with something, like playing his PS2, it makes it seem more casual, and he doesnt have to have eye contact then.

Good luck with the GP, stand your ground and push for it.

Thanks for your reply Wishes11, I agree totally with your comments on it probably being something quite minor.

I'm thinking it could even be something as daft as breaking something, but on the other hand, it could be something major. I just wish I knew.

I've tried talking to him in different situations, but he's adamant that he's not going to tell me anything this time.

I hope the school can maybe get to the bottom of it and I'm in the process of trying to get an appointment with our GP.

Thanks again to everyone