25 Sep 2007, 12:21 pm
First, I would like to thank everyone for their input and well wishes. You guys are the greatest! 
However, now I would like to address The Chosen One's concerns because I didn't want to give him/her the wrong impression.
The_Chosen_One wrote:
Well, I think it is your son just being a kid so please don't act as if he's deliberately trying to ruin your life. If it's so much of a financial burden to get him tennis lessons, see if his school will do some coaching instead.
It worries me that you seem to think your son "owes" you. Yes, his behaviour is annoying but I think you're being too anal about things like washing his hair. Better to let that go because most kids I know of (including myself) didn't put things like that as a high priority. I had some clothes that I loved and wore all the time.
If his teachers were doing their job properly, he wouldn't have to do homework, except for assignments. Kids get too much homework these days - it's complete BS how much they have to do. Again, it's kids being kids. He'd be tired from doing a full day's school so why would he want to do more work at home? Be real!
It worries me that you seem to think your son "owes" you. Yes, his behaviour is annoying but I think you're being too anal about things like washing his hair. Better to let that go because most kids I know of (including myself) didn't put things like that as a high priority. I had some clothes that I loved and wore all the time.
If his teachers were doing their job properly, he wouldn't have to do homework, except for assignments. Kids get too much homework these days - it's complete BS how much they have to do. Again, it's kids being kids. He'd be tired from doing a full day's school so why would he want to do more work at home? Be real!
First off, I have never believed that my son is ruining my life, deliberately or not. He's a good son most of the time, but to be honest with you he is good at manipulation and really does know how to push my buttons and often tries to push the envelope as much as possible. While most of the time I try to let these things roll off my back, sometimes I just need someone to vent to about what is bothering me. It does me nor my son any good for me to vent at him, so I came here instead. The people on this board are very supportive, understanding and even have great ideas to try to help solve some of the issues we all face from time to time.
As for my son "owing" me something, I offer this response. Yes. He is a member of our family, and we are each expected to contribute to the furtherance of our family. Yes. I expect him to wash his hair and his body...with soap. Have you ever had to scrub off a thick layer of dead skin out of someone's scalp because they didn't wash properly...for weeks? Believe me, it wasn't pleasant for either me nor him.
Oh, and yes, I expect him to brush his teeth. Having to shell out $250 to fill two cavities because he refused to brush properly isn't pleasant for either of us. Now, I understand your argument about sensory issues. I have asked my son if there was a reason that he didn't like the soap or the toothbrush or the toothpaste. Did it smell funny? Was the loofa brush too scratchy? Would a washcloth work better? Was the toothbrush too hard...too soft? Was the toothpaste too gritty? Did it taste too spicy? I have tried to look at every angle I can think of to accommodate his sensory issues, but you see, he can't really tell me why he doesn't wash and brush other than, "I just don't want too." Well, that just won't work because his health and hygiene are very important. Plus, if he doesn't learn good habits now then he may end up having more issues and health related problems in the future.
Now as for the "if the teachers were doing they're job properly" comment...wouldn't that just be the most lovely wonderful gift a mother on this or any board could receive. I think I make my point here.
But, I agree with you...he is tired after a long day of school...and so am I. But you know reality beckons...dinner still has to be made...homework still has to be done...showers still have to be taken...Mom still has to read good night stories...and good night kisses and "I love you's" still have to be given.
Last edited by JsMom on 26 Sep 2007, 1:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
26 Sep 2007, 11:26 am
