Sensory issues - clothing

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I'm glad that you found some good tops today. Old Navy clothes can also often be found at low prices used, and then you have something that feels even better because it's more worn in. EBay is great for used clothes. I recently bought myself a few very nice Old Navy fleece tops on Wagglepop.com (a site that I also sell on) for only $1.60 each! Another place where I've found Old Navy clothes is a trading site called PoshPoints where you spend points instead of real cash (always a plus). There you get 15 free points which is exactly how much each of the Old Navy tops that I've bought on the site cost me. So you might even be able to get something nice for free. Here's the link:

http://www.poshpoints.com/default.aspx?ref=1204

Clothing can hurt.

When I was little I absolutely could not stand sweat pants. They made my legs itch and burn as if on fire. Later, I realized the reason they bothered e so much was that I feeling every little "bump" on the underside.

How does he feel about windbreaker pants? I figure he'd probably either love them or hate them.

He's going through sensory hell, that's the best way I can describe it. It's not pain, pain would be preferable. It's a combination of physical and emotional discomfort. I've improved with age, but as a child I was much like your grandson. My issue was the seams in underwear. They tortured me. I could think of nothing else and it invariably provoked meltdown mode. I would get to school and flush them down the toilet. I recall threatening (seriously) to run away from home and hide in the woods forever if my parents made me wear underwear. I recall being in the backseat of the car on the way to a doctor appointment for my back (I was also blessed with scoliosis among other things) and just howling in torment from the underwear and how they felt as my parents screamed at me mercilessly, threatening me with every bit they could use, and it made no difference. At the time we did not know I had AS, they thought I was a horrid brat.

I often struggled with things like my one shoe being tied ever so slightly tighter than the other, imperceivable to most people but awful for me. I didn't wear sneakers for this reason. My mother kept slip-on shoes for me. Having water splashed on we was a nightmare, if I happened to get hit at the water fountain. The worst was stickiness. One day they had to call my mother after I spilled juice on myself because I completely came undone and could not stop sobbing.

It's definitely not pain, as you'd know it. It's just extreme discomfort. Water torture, drip drip drip drip. Hard to define precisely. In fact, there were times when I had to keep myself under control and I'd actually bite my arm, dig pen caps into my legs...anything to take my focus off of whatever was troubling me. I did grow out of a lot of that by my late teens and early 20s. I think some of it had to do with having more control over other things in my life, as well as identifying clothing (and similar) triggers and minimizing them.

I'll tell you now the worst sensory thing for me is (with having two young children, 4 and 2) the Cheerios and other random crumbs snapping underfoot in the kitchen no matter how many times a day I sweep. So I keep a pair of flip flops for indoors and wear them, which helps.

I guess the best thing to do for now is make sure he has extra clothes. Try to find things that are least troublesome and offer several choices. What he can wear will depend on the day as much as anything else. I'm certain this can be trying on your nerves, but trust me, it's worse on his. My favorit items are stretch pants that are not too loose and not too tight, tube socks without toe seams, and big comfy sweatshirts with very soft material blends. Many advertise low-pilling now, and they're great!! A t-shirt underneath helps. A good pair of cotton pants with some spandex in them would probably be a good option for him. Enough stretch makes almost anything bearable for me. Summer clothes were and still are my favorite, I have no problem with t-shirt and shorts. And sandals are nice.

Hmm. Bringing back so many childhood memories. I feel a lot less nuts now that I know why I felt the way I did. I ca sympathize very much with your grandson. Sorry to ramble so

siuan - Please don't feel like you are rambling .... That's what I really like about this website, is all the information we can get. I have almost become obsessed with trying to learn what works and what doesn't work for our grandson. So, thanks again to you and everyone else here.

I found a pair of old socks that were Z's that we had thought he grew out of. He tried them on today and he said they were perfect....Yeah!! So, we will try to go back a size, so he can't feel any loose threads.

Also, tonight - he was a hoot! He had a spray bottle and came up to me and said "See, Grandma" - I'm spraying myself! His hair was wet and spiked....then he pointed the bottle at his shirt and sprayed a little on himself.....you could just see how it was bothering him - but it was like he was playing a joke - that it didn't bother him at all.....It was kind of a break through...but, he was the one in control of the spray bottle, so i bet that made a big difference...It was funny!

I second old Navy. The clothes are very comfortable.

Maybe he could keep a change of clothes at school in case he gets wet there? That way, it wouldn't ruin his whole day.

I definitely have issues with clothes. Sometimes it's just not right, but it's clothes, so it's on you, and all you want to do is get it off you. There are some mornings when I change my clothes a lot.

It's been better for me now, at least since it's been warm. I found a brand of short-sleeved shirt that I like at Target. They are tagless (although they come with one of those really pokey tags in the side that needs to be removed ) So I've just got about 20 of those in various colors, and that's what I wear. Makes things a lot easier.

I think that for my son, it almost gets worse as he gets older (7). Maybe better and worse, if that makes any sense. Now he knows what bothers him and will choose certain clothes. If I don't have clean what he wants to wear, then comes the falling down and the tantrum. He has a drawer full of nice shorts but will only wear the pull up sports shorts. Now that it's getting cold, I made him wear pants last week and that was a battle. He has tons of nice pants (hand me downs from his brother) but I know they will go unused because he will choose to wear only the ones with elastic waist. Since most of the pants have a snap and zipper, and worst of all, the elastic adjustable waist, I went to Goodwill to pick him up some more pull on pants so he can wear those. He does not know how to tie his shoes, but then why would he since he only will wear velcro. Although he has a drawer full of socks, I had to go buy new ones because there's only a certain kind he likes. So it's worse in the fact that he knows what he likes and will not go for anything else--better in that he know what he likes so if I just stick with that, he's comfortable and we're all happy.

My 2 spectrum kids have sensory issues with clothing. My 9 y/o can not stand anything tight on her arms or legs. She loves loose cotton knit pants- but can't stand the tighter leggings. She hates tights- they itch and bug her and are well, tight on her legs. She pretty much always wears those cotton knit pants or jeans- but the jeans have to fit right or she won't wear them- and soft, tagless tees- I have to cut all tags out of her clothes, my 5 y/o's clothes, and my clothes as well. My 5 y/o hates tight things around his waist, his socks have to be seamless and tight-fitting and it's VERY hard to get him to transition from wearing short sleeves to long sleeves when the weather gets cooler. He'll compain about the shirts buggin his arms for weeks. I put away all his short sleeve ones so he doesn't have an option though. Evil mom, I know. LOL!

I have severe sensory issues with clothing as well. My jeans have to fit just right, they can not be tight on my waist, I can't have tags in my clothes and I often have to rip open the seam on the neck of shirts and get rid of ALL tag material and then sew them back up- even a stray thread or two from that tag will drive me nuts. I can't stand tight clothing of any kid. I can't stand dresses or skirts. I normally wear Lands' End jeans(Old Navy's seams are not sewn as flat and bother my thighs) and men's Tees. Women't tees often don't fit me right and are too tight on my bust or too short on me. I"m 5'10" and finding long shirts in women's clothing is very hard for me. Wal-Mart carries Hanes men's tees and although they're not the most flattering, they are comfortable and long enough. I often wear my husband's tees. I'm a SAHM, so it's no big deal to dress comfortable for me. Sweatpants are wonderful when they are brand new and I love them when they're fuzzy, but once they've been worn a few months and washed a bunch, the pile pills and they make me itch- it's hellish. I buy new ones and the old ones end up in Hubby's drawer- we're about the same size. I also can't stand tight shoes or socks that wrinkle or have seams. Seamless toes are a must. I have ultra sensitive skin and will actually get rashes and bad irritation from seams finished with rough thread, bra bands that are not soft enough, socks that rub wrong, etc. Bag Balm is my friend.

Ok, I rambled on enough. Just keep in mind that although the clothing issues can be irritating to parents who have to keep buying and trying new clothes for their kids, it's nothing compared to the sensory hell that ill-fitting, uncomfortable clothing is to us on the spectrum. I'm glad that I can understand where my kids are coming from. My mother MADE me wear uncomfortable clothes that I HATED and I'd get spanked if I complained about them.

always had to cut the tags out of sons shirts....definitely some clothes he will just not wear due to their texture....daughter, who's ADHD has same issues too....she won't wear stockings because they're itchy. won't wear jeans.these days, she actually wears cotton pants and skirts at the same time~ maybe she'll start a trend !

It sounds like he has very acute tactile stimulation issues. These can range from mildly adversive to intolerable. Sometimes this can be physical pain, other times discomfort, sometimes its mental. I have some tactile issues.
Certain fabrics are too adversive for me to stand others I love. I never could stand clothing tags growing up and still have issues if things are too close to the front of my neck. I can stand clothing that I think is too tight even if I know that it actually fits me properly.
You could try taking him to a textile store and see which materials he likes, which he dislikes and in what combinations then you could check clothing to see if these are in it before getting them from him. For the water thing you'd have to try to desensitize him from it to try and change it which I'm not to sure of how affective that would be, plus it oftan takes a long time. As for things getting into his shoes I can't offer any advise there. That is an extremly adversive situation which is best taken care of immediantly.
I don't like shoes anyway and avoid wearing them whenever possible. In the winter months my mom and I worked out a deal, when she sees me I will have something on my feet, even though she knows I'm usually barefoot when she isn't looking, she even got me a pair of fuzzy slip-on slippers for the accation, and she will not scold me for being barefoot in the summer or make me put on shoes unless we're going someplace or doing something that requires them.

Aspies are often super-sensitive to heat so in weather that others think is cold, they will still want to wear light clothing. Best to go with that because feeling overheated is intolerable and leads to meltdowns. I also cannot wear closed in shoes except in very cold weather. Otherwise, I feel like ripping them off - it is a horrible feeling of suffocation!

It's cruel to make kids wear clothes they find hot. Wool is also something I can't wear unless I have cotton under it. Getting wet doesn't bother me but getting sticky is another story altogether.

My softball coach used to get upset because I'd take off my jacket when it was snowing - but hey I was hot. The coach was a nice guy though and explained it to me as my parents would be coming after him if I got sick from not wearing my coat.

I also used to get the mail in the winter time wearing shorts and a t-shirt, with no socks and shoes. The mail box was about an 1/8 mile from the house. My feet were never cold, and I had no reason to run, even when there were a few inches of snow on the ground.

Now that I think about it, I used to have fights with mum over wearing warm clothes. This is strange as I also used to feel the cold quite badly in the winter. Anything with tight long sleeves used to drive me demented (and still does) when it wasn't freezing cold. Clothes with scratchy labels and socks too big for me with bumpy seams also were very uncomfortable.

I can't say this is a big thing for me, but I've always be uncomfortable in clothes, expecially rough fibres (especially wool, which my parents had to get rid of completely. Polyester isn't preferred). I never wear clothes when I can avoid it, and usually just wear cotton T-shirts outside. Fortunately I don't feel cold often.

It's really very straight-forward for me. Heavy or tight clothes make me feel restricted, too hot, or just more bothered by the textiles. Textiles... Well, people with Asperger's Syndrome have sensitive nerves, and I can only tell you that for me, wearing cotton is like being rubbed all over with the hard part of velcro... Not exaggerating. It's... Scratchy. Who wants that?

I guess the trick is to have the child try various styles and textiles and let him choose. (Though only to a point where he doesn't appear rediculous. My parents were too liberal.) And if he would HAVE to change clothes if something got wet or dirty, I'm guessing the school can be persuaded to store an extra set somewhere? Otherwise the kid will just have to live with it. Kids shouldn't be pampered too much, and while kids with ASD are given some additional leeway, they will eventually encounter uncomfortable circumstances and need to learn to cope. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I suppose.

Couldn't they have an extra set of clothes in their desk?