Kids say the darndest things

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Remember that old TV show hosted by Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby? I couldn't wait for my son to start talking so we could collect a few gems of our own. Of course, his autism delayed that, but we're finally starting to get some funny stuff from Lucas, who will turn 3 in August.

I'd love to hear some good ones from your kids!

Here's our most recent:

Lucas has taken a liking to the word "bye bye" and says every chance it gets ("bye bye train" when the last car rolls by, or "bye bye apple" when he takes his last bite, or "bye bye Barney" when the cartoon ends, etc.)

Well anyway, Lucas got pink eye a couple weeks ago, so the doctor gave us drops. Lucas HATES the drops, so my husband and I have to hold him down, pry open his eye lid and squeeze in a drop. He struggles and fights the whole time. It's awful. During one such session, our son started crying and said "bye bye eye."

We couldn't help but laugh. Poor little guy. I guess he thought we were going to take his eye out or something. No wonder he hates those drops!

"I've got two spoons. One to eat with, and one to hit you with!"

Jakes speech has alway come and gone. So we hold on to all he's every said. One of the best ones was we were visting our family before the Airforce moved us over seas. Jake had just turned 3 right before he was dx We're in a video store and some older boys were standing in frount of us in line and Jake realy wanted them to look at him. So after jumping and wiggling trying to get the big kids to play with him he gave up and yelled "I lie you stupit gettis " He would watch WWE with this his dad on fridays and Britcoms on PBS with me on saturdays I guesse the two got mixed in his head. Last week Jake was upset that his dad and brother went to boy scouts with out him so he spent the night yelling "jerks" at the door. It was the only thing he had said that week . I don't think any other mother would be as happy to hear that her husband and older son were jerks.

This is something I said myself, when my parents took me to New York for the first time. I think I was 5 at the time, give or take 1 year. My family lived in a small city, so that's all I knew until then. When in New York, we took the subway multiple times. Although I was already somewhat familiar with the concept of subways, I've never seen a subway train in real life before. So when I first saw it, I said: "Why does a subway train have a front on both ends?" (The front refers to the part facing the direction of travel.) I've already seen a lot of freight and Amtrak trains in my home city, so I knew that trains looked different in the front and in the back, and expected all trains to be like that.

My little lady is always coming out with funny things!

Today she told me she loves me and her daddy even when she sometimes has to growl us

I always find it hilarious when my son repeats things that I have said to him, it's always an eye opener. When my son was about 2 1/2 (he talked very well very early) he decided that he wanted some chocolate for breakfast (it was the day after halloween). I told him no, we don't eat candy in the mornings, and he put his little hands on his hips and said "I'm sorry mommy, but this is not a negotiation".

^ that reminded me of my daughter taking one of her fathers tools and calling it her "compromise" when she was 3

1. Jake (age 4) doesnt say his "s" Slurpee is Herpee's. snowballs is no balls.

2. Out of the blew Jake said "Obama said McCain is lazy and sleeps in bed all day." I said where did you hear that. He said the tv. I said do you know who obama is he said yes the president and smirks at me. I am just suprised he said McCain.

3. My husband and I just recently got married after being together 6 years. Our son we have together before we were married says. "I dont have a mom and dad." I said yes you do, what are you talking about. He said, "no, you and Jeff arent married yet." when you get married I will have a mom and dad, right now you are Jenny and he is just jeff.

4. We took in a stray cat one year and we didnt name her right away. I said to my husband the cat is pregnant. Then one day Jake starts yelling " come here pregnant." I started laughing. I said why are you calling the cat pregnant and he said that is the cats name. So we all just called her pregnant.

These are so funny

I love the one about the cat named "pregnant!" Priceless.

Yesterday I got some biscuits for my son. He hadn't tried them before, but he really likes them. So last night he asked if he could get them in his packed lunch when he goes back to school after the holidays.

Then he said, "But if I have the biscuits as well, there won't be enough room in my lunchpod, so we'll have to delete something". Lol!

My younger brother, who had recently just turned 7, was asking my dad for some bakugan toys.
My dad responded that he didnt have the money
My little brother replies....Well, what kinda dad are you?
Dad laughs

I used to say some pretty funny things as a kid, some I feel ashamed of because it was really rude, but I didn't realize they were rude to say back then.


One time while at a grocery store I was 7 and there was this man standing behind us who was overweight. Now not meaning to be rude, I innocently asked "Wow! How did you get so fat?" and he smiled at me and said "From eating little boys".

And one time I saw a picture of a farmer with a piece of wheat in his mouth. As a kid I thought he was smoking it, and I thought it was pronounced "Weed". I asked my Mom "Why do farmers smoke weed?" and she got wide-eyed because she thought I saw someone smoking pot.

My three year old son kept flushing the toilet and I told him,
"Stop flushing the toilet, it's not a toy."

My five year old daughter responded,
"Then why do they call it a toy?"

toy-let

i always have to encourage my son to do number 2 because he hate eliminating. he had just learned about "winter vacation" in preschool. when i tried to ask him to sit down to see if he can go, he told me, "noooo! my poopy's on vacation."

he doesn't have a great relationship with his father, he tells me all the time that he doesn't love his father, he LIKES his father. when his father asked him if he loved him, my son walked away and said "negatory."

I'll ask my 4 y/o to do something like clean up his trains, I get one of two responses, "I'm too tired, it's a hot day out", even if he's been inside with the A/C on all day lol, OR he ignores me, when I ask him again he'll say "Awwwight, calm down!"