Pool Safety and Swimming Lessons Advice Needed

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We have an above ground pool at my house that we are getting ready to fill up for the Summer (it's close to 5 feet deep and is a long, rectangle shape), but this makes me very uncomfortable. My son DOES NOT follow directions and seems to have little fear or realization of dangerous situations. Last year, I caught him sneaking toward the pool ladder when I was trying to get everything loaded into the car for daycare. He will not sit upright in a floatie and throws thrashing type tantrums if I put him in one. Last Summer, I put him in a floatie and he threw a ball a few feet in front of him in the pool and started flipping out because he couldn't get it. I thought he would be fine and I went to get the ball (it was maybe 6 feet away). When I turned around, the floatie was flipped upside down and Nathan's head was completely under water. His legs were kicking straight up, still stuck in the floatie. I freaked out and it felt like it took me forever to get those 6 feet back to help him. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Now, my question is, does anyone have any suggestions regarding pool safety? Any good water safety products you can recommend (he won't allow me to put water wings on his arm and the life jacket I have for him doesn't seem sufficient)? Has anyone had success with swimming classes on their young child (again, Nathan is almost 4 years old)? I need some good ideas before our pool is filled for the hot weather. I really appreciate any suggestions/advice on this situation.

Is there a way that you could be cover on the pool (preferably something that can somehow be locked). Also, a fence around the pool might help (some people even alarm the fence).

The thing with pools is that you want to make them safe for your own children, but you need to have them safe for everyone (including uninvited neighbours children) - there are liability issues. If someone is drowned or injured in your pool (even an uninvited child) - the liability is still on the owner of the pool and property.

I'll ask around and if I find a specific product or idea, I'll write again.

I've thought of a pool cover, but the pool is really large and an odd shape. I'm not sure where to get one. I may just need to shop around online and see what I can find. In regards to other children, I live in the sticks. I live in a town of 4000 people (tiny, I know) and our house is about 2 miles on the outskirts of town. There are only 3 or 4 other houses on our street and I haven't seen any young children since i've lived there (over 3 years now). But yes, I definitely agree that a pool should be safe for everyone. To be honest, although I enjoy swimming I really don't like having a pool when I have a small child, but it's my dad's house and his pool, so I need to find a way to be comfortable with the situation.

In most states, it is a legal requirement to have a fence around a pool. Safety is nothing to take lightly...

A few years ago, one of the "old" professional golfers ( I forget which one) lost a grandchild because the little boy awoke from a nap and managed to slip out of the house and through the gate to get into the pool. Hours later, a family member found him floating on the surface of the pool and could not revive him. Don't let tragedy come into your life...

Go to your nearest pool retail store and ask for guidance on safety...after all, you also need pool cleaning supplies to maintain your pool and they can special order that pool cover you need.

I agree with Zsazsa, get a fence. Drowning is a real danger for young children and unsightly as they may look, a fence with child-proof gate is the surest way to prevent it.

With luck you can remove it after a few years when he's older.

Well, i've been calling around some places to inquire about safety pool covers and the general consensus is that they go not make safety covers for above ground pools. I REALLY do not like having a pool at my house. It was there last year, but I handled it a little better, but i'm really uncomfortable this time. I'm going shopping after work and getting as much safety stuff as I see necessary. As far as the fence, that woulb be a good idea, but I honestly don't think I have the money for one. I am going to get some sliding bolt locks (like the ones in public restrooms) and mount them on the tops of the two doors that lead in and out of the house where I know Nathan can't reach. Ick! This is so nerve-racking!

Has anyone tried swimming lessons for your child? I think that it is very important for kids to learn, but as i've stated many times, my son is very defiant and won't do anything unless he wants to. Plus, according to his psychologist's report yesterday, his language comprehension is just above that of a one year old. He's not good with following verbal directions, but i'm thinking that with swimming lessons, he may do well because it is physical instruction along with verbal.

My eldest son is much like Nathan. We took a Mommy and Me style class at the YMCA which was really hard but good for his sensory issues. It did not make him safer around water, if anything it made him less safe as he got even better at getting into the water. He did not have good judgement about what was safe and had no sense of fear. He'd have jumped into a lava pit if he saw something shiny in it.

A fence would not have made a pool safe for him. He would have gotten over it or through the gate in a heartbeat. Once I found him on top of the refrigerater when he wasn't even two years old.

Maybe Nathan is a little easier to corral than my eldest, but if he's not the only really safe option would be to not fill the pool this year.

He did not stay this difficult forever. By the time he was 5 or 6 he was starting to have a better sense of what was safe and was realizing that when Mom says not to do something it's usually for a good reason. I think he was just delayed in that area of his development. He had the body and physical abilities of a child his true age but the maturity of a much younger child. Most kids outgrow that level of poor judgment before they can walk. That's just my theory.

Well, for starters you need to make sure he can't get into the pool on his own. He isn't old enough to be left to swim unsupervised. My uncle had a 5" tall swimming pool with a removable ladder. So you just put the ladder away and the child wouldn't be able to climb into the pool. I don't know how good your son is at climbing, but make sure you get some way to keep him out of the pool, or just leave it drained.

As far as the swimming itself, you may want to pick up a float suit. For example, see here:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss? ... it&x=0&y=0

They are basically small 1 piece clothes with a flotation vest sown into them. It is similar to a life jacket, except that it doesn't ride up and attack your neck. Since it is connected to the pants it instead lifts the child up from the pants instead. More comfortable, less neck attacking.

It also has the benefit that your child can't slip out of them unless he can get to the zipper behind his neck, and then strip while swimming.

They are pretty common, you can pick them up at almost any place that sells swim trunks and floaties. Your local walmart probably has a few for sale, and any local sports store definitely would.

My daughter has the suit Tracker mentioned. She loves it. She will not go near water without it. My daughter sounds much like your son but you can put fear into her. You have to be very, very blunt and graphic. Perhaps show him a drowned bug? Or something he can relate to to show him how dangerous it is. That's how my daughter learned not to run into the street, I showed her a squirrel that was run over. But until you can trust that he won't get in, you need to find a way to secure the pool. they make portable fences. I would definitely devise some kind of fence. Even if it's metal poles with deer fencing-or something cheap like that.

Swim lessons did not work for my daughter. She isn't ready to swim yet and she has an aversion to water.

Do not get a pool without a fence. It's just common sense. If you can't afford one don't fill up the pool. It's YOUR responsibility if any other child were to find it's way into the pool.

Our landlady put a regular (very nice) fence around the perimeter of her above ground pool. The latch to the fence is on the pool side, so you have to reach over the top to open it. Kids can't reach the pool unless an adult opens the fence.

Please take pool safety very serious and do anything you have to do to insure that the pool is child proof. Back in the early 80's, before they ahd all the great pool fences, alarms, etc that they have now, my half-sister drowned in my Dad's pool. She was 3 years old. They had just started swim lessons. Actually more tragic was the summer prior, I had helped a family at their church whose son had fallen into their pool. He too had been three. He didn't die, but he ate through a trach, he lost most mental function and all his limbs were stiff and they had to do exercises with him several times a day. It can happen in a blink of an eye.

My kids are all fish and have been in lessons for years. However, they love the water and the lessons. There is a class that is expensive called ISR. It teaches small children (even babies) how to flip and stay afloat until they are rescued. Some people don't like it as the kids do cry and are unhappy. However, I saw these lessons at our gym and they instructors are very compassionate. They give out stickers at the end of each class. It is one on one and it did seem to work. A friend of mine is from Florida. She went to church with the people who began ISR. They gave their lessons out as baby shower gifts. She didn't receive it, but some of her friends did. She said it worked, but their kids were more afraid of the water than kids that hadn't done the class. Here is a link to what it is:

http://www.infantswim.com/

Please make sure you take it very serious. The consequences aren't worth it.

So I went and got sliding brass bolt locks for my front and back doors only to realize this morning that we have wood trim all the way around both doors that is risen out about 3/4 inch. The locks won't work. I was going to buy safety fencing for the pool (for above ground pools, safety fencing does not go on the ground, it goes along the top rim of the pool, creating an additional 2 feet in height). These are supposed to fit almost all above ground pools, but same as with the locks, I checked out my dad's pool this moring and realized it does not have traditional pool supports (it has some kind of metal pipe support all the way around) and it doesn't look like there is anywhere for the fencing to latch to the pool. I also called my local infant swim site and they said the program is 4 - 6 weeks and that appointments are only 10 minutes at a time. The problem is, the person I spoke with said they only have morning appointments and that we would have to come in every day for the duration of the program - this center is 45 minutes away. Aside from the fact that it is so much driving, which I can deal with, my work won't allow me to come in 2 hours late for the next month and a half. I have definitely hit another road block here.

I am still trying to think of ways to make this situation as safe as possible. I do have a like jacket for Nathan and a floating full body suit for him as well. I'm thinking of keeping those handy at all times. I'm also go to make sure that the ladder isn't kept in the pool and hopefully the height alone (about 5 feet) will be a big deterrent. I'm going to go to the local hardware/home supply store and try to find locks that will work with our doors. Although they do not make safety covers for above ground pools, they make these safety nets ($700.00 + dollars, yikes), but i've yet to find one for an oval shaped pool. I'm also looking at getting an alarm for the pool - the one that detect when anything 15 or more pounds enters the water and signals a fire alarm type sound at 1 or more base stations. I'm working on this. If this were my own home, I would definitely do without the pool all together!

...and there is this other system this lady at one of the pool supply stores recommended called The Turtle. It's another alarm system, but the alarm is activated by a sensor bracelet you put on your child's wrist. If the sensor bracelet is ever submerged in water, it sets off a 110 decible alarm at a base station. I'm thinking this might be a good product. Trying to find a place to order it now...

I saw those sensor bracelets on SuperNanny ...

The main thing to remember, and I think you know this, that any safety measure you take is BACK UP. Do NOT rely on it. When a child is near a pool do not take your eyes off the child, EVER.

Make sure there are no ladders, benches, etc. that would allow him to climb into the pool without you.

After that ... you say he is almost4? That is the right age to start learning to swim; 4 is the normal age. Start with basic buoyancy. You don't need lessons; just get in the pool with him (not that lessons may not be preferred, but since you are having trouble finding them ...). If he is comfortable putting his face in the water, the next step is to get him to play airplane. Basically, stretch out arms and legs, face down in the water, until floating. Doing this allows kids to find their buoyancy. Once they find that, you can move on to the other pre-swimming exercises. Lol, I've watched 2 kids now go through swim lessons, I could definitely teach them myself ... except they refuse to listen to me