Wetting the bed

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Hi,
I was wondering if anyone had any advice on bed wetting. My son is 6 1/2 and wets the bed almost every night. I have tried a peepee alarm, and waking him up in the miiddle of the night to go. Sometimes waking him up works, but not always. The peepee alarm did not work at all. He does not have a drink after 6:00 and goes to bed at 8:00. Any suggestions would be helpfull.
Thanks,Julesmom

My parents tried a lot of things - but with me nature had to take its course. I wet the bed until I was about ten.

I know from experience that this is really frustrating for everyone, but it isn't something that we do intentionally, and I wish someone had told my parents that punishment wouldn't help. Letting your son know that you understand and that it is a developmental thing might help his self image.

Z

My parent's were told to punish me because " I was just doing it to get attention". So I was punished for something I couldn't control. Did wonders for my self esteem. There are a lot of reasons for enuresis, sometimes it's just something they have to develop out of. Sometimes the brains does not get the proper signal that the bladder is full.

I wet the bed and my parents had me taken to a hypnotist to try to fix it, but all that did was give me horrible nightmares about being violently attacked in public bathrooms. (I'm guessing the hypnotist suggested to dream about a bathroom I couldn't use so I had to wake up. I don't know. I don't remember anything that happened while I was under.) And I still wet the bed during the nightmares. I finally quit wetting the bed on my own at age 15.

It does tend to be developmental, so there doesn't seem to be much to do beyond the ideas you have already tried. There is always protective adult undergarments ...

He's not that old to still be wetting the bed. It could just be a bit of immaturity that he'll outgrow. At that age occasional mistakes are pretty normal, but if it's all the time maybe it's something more going on.

One of my kids ended up going on mild antidepressants at bedtime. We took him to the Urologist who considered several options and did an ultrasound of his bladder. He found that the muscles around his bladder were overdeveloped. He was trying so hard NOT to wet the bed that he was making himself do it. It took a couple of years of that treatment, and the problem is gone.

I've known kids who've needed to do some exercizes or other things. It kind of depends on why they are wetting. If it's immaturity he might need a little more time. If it's weak muscles he might need exercize or biofeedback. Get it checked out by a specialist especially if it's distressing your son.

If your son is willing to wear big kid diapers to bed, try to have him do that instead of using rubber sheets and changing the bed every day. Not only is it less laundry for you (although more expense) but it will improve his social life.

I say this (not knowing if you do put your son in diapers or change the sheets every day) because my parents would never put me in diapers and so I would "marinate" in my pee half the night. The next day in gym class, when I'd sweat, I would sweat urine that had soaked into my skin. So at gym I smelled like a giant toilet. And, understandably, the other kids avoided and bullied me because of it.

So, definitely, diapers if he'll accept them.

Kids should not be punished for something they can't control. The last time I wet the bed, was when I was 9. Luckily my mum dealt with it, in a mature manner.

my son wets everynight he's 5 and very tall for his age we get large pull up from the nhs and bed wet mats from mothercare which go under his sheets to protect his bed and are washable and you can tumble dry them makes it easier to sort out his bed at night time. the pull ups are not great he wets though them some time twice a night we change him and his bed and shower him then put him back to bed. there's reaaly not much you can do as people have said you just have to wait it out and find the best way for you to deal with it.

I may have some info that you might find helpful. I can sincerely empathize, as my son (who is 25 now) wet the bed until he was 12 years old. I tried everything under the sun, but as he got older, the amount of urine he produced was too much for even the largest "pull-up" he fit into. It was so distressing and embarrasing for him, as he was unable to participate in anything that had to do with an overnight stay. His pediatrician tried Imipramine (a tricyclic antidepressant) which did help somewhat, but the medication that really worked was something called DDAVP. It's a nasal spray that is normally prescribed for patients whose bodies can't regulate the production of urine due to a pituitary problem. It was prescribed for my son "off label" (meaning it was not approved as an official treatment at that time for enuresis)--many medications are precribed that way by physicians based on their judgement--and I administered it to him before bedtime each night. It was miraculous to say the least. He seldom even had an accident while on that medication.

Now, granted, that was 15 or so years ago, so I have no idea whether DDAVP is still available or recommended, etc., for enuresis. It also was, at that time, extremely expensive, although, after a struggle, I was able to get it approved for coverage by my insurance. It's something that I would suggest you bring up for discussion with your pediatrician. Can't hurt! Good luck to you on this--I know it's difficult.

I did this until I was thirteen and I think it was due to stress because as soon as I was being homeschooled and assured I would never go back to public school, it stopped. Being forced to wear "pull ups" only embarased me and made the situation worse.

Wetting the bed is usually a temporary regression caused by stress, or it is developmental in nature.

If you can rule out the former, you may wish to consult a doctor. While bedwetting is a very common occurrence at age six, there's no harm in ruling out a direct (and possibly curable) medical cause. Perhaps waiting with this is better, though, because before age five bedwetting isn't even a diagnosis.

The best thing to do is to offer emotional support. Make sure your child understands that bedwetting is very common, it is not their fault, and that it isn't a problem. Above all, do not punish them for it, this is a sure-fire recipe for giving them emotional problems later in life.

If the standard methods of limiting liquids (do make sure he doesn't dehydrate) don't work, you may be in this for the long run. While diapers (or "absorbent underpants", as they're marketed) are an option, do this only as a last resort when other methods fail and preferably only if your child accepts it. There have been some studies which indicate that wearing diapers may prolong bedwetting, but it will cause your child much less stress and it's very convenient for you, as well. I would say that diapers are better than medication (excluding a definable medical cause which is curable), but then again I have a bit of an unreasonable aversion to pills, so that's your call.

I agree that bedwetting can be a regressive behavior related to stress if the child had previously been continent for an extended period of time, especially past the age of 5 or 6. There are so many variables that enter into it. That's why I suggest a consultation with your pediatrician. The good news is that, in my experience at least both as a mother and as a nurse, even in children for whom it's an ongoing issue, the onset of puberty (or thereabouts) seems to resolve it in most cases, diapers or no diapers.

Perhaps it's because of the fact that I am nurse, but I'm not as averse to using medications as a last resort (in select cases) as much as others might be. I know that in my son's case it was a life-changing godsend. His self-esteem improved dramatically once the bedwetting was under control. He even got to the point where he could go away overnight (such as camping with the Boy Scouts) and administer his DDAVP spray to himself, privately. Medication is definitely not the route for everyone to take, but I do believe that parents should be aware of all their options if bedwetting is seriously impacting their child's emotional wellbeing. The shame and embarrassment can be excrutiating. They already feel different from others--bedwetting only multiplies that.

Has anyone experienced a personal familial connection with bedwetting? I've read studies that make the correlation, and my son's father also wet the bed until he was 12.

Aw, I'm sorry your father didn't let you know of his personal experience sooner, too. I'm sure it would have gone a long way toward helping you to feel less "different." He may have still been struggling with his own feelings of embarrassment or shame, or perhaps he didn't realize how much telling you would help you.

Most importantly, in my opinion, parents need to realize that bedwetting is not a voluntary act and their child should not be punished or belittled for it. Instead they should provide much-needed support and encouragement.