the chosen mothers

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i thought i'd post this for mothers day.
i've seen it on several people's websites and i'm not sure who origanally wrote it, but i take no credit for it.

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with disabilities are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Gerard."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with autism."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a child with autism to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But, does she have patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world an that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you." No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps -"Selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child that some will see as less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side."


"And what about her patron Saint?" asks the angel. His pen poised in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

Go ahead and tell yourself any b***s*** that helps you get you through the day! This kind of stuff makes me sick! I hate it when people send me forwards like this!

It's been plagiarized off something Erma Bombeck wrote, originally, and modified. Hers was a lot better and a hell of a lot less sappy in context in the book.

Edit: It's from Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession, and the full unedited version is titled, "The Special Mother". I could type it up with the following, related article, if someone would like.

oh boohoo.
if you don't like it, dont reply. it's very simple.

I like the original. It's very good, which is why I offered to share it. As a writer myself, I just don't happen to like plagiarism, especially not of one of my favorite authors. That's all. Whoever originally ganked it and altered it inexorably killed the spirit and voice of the piece.

i was talking to bettyboo
i know it's been changed beacuse i've seen it all over caringbridge with different words, like "give her a child with cancer" or "give her a child with down syndrome" depending on what the person's child has.
as long as you dont take credit for it, it's not really plagerizm, it's just based off something. if i said "i wrote this" that would be wrong but the first thing i said was that i take no credit for it.

I didn't say you plagiarized it. Someone else did. But that doesn't mean it wasn't plagiarized, and it's particularly bothersome because they didn't just reprint it, or excerpt it, they changed it to suit them.

If I am told to write an inspirational article and decide to use someone else's instead and just change a few words around to suit the assignment or my personal taste, it's plagiarism. This is no different.

yeah but no one is claiming to have written it. looking back on the websites i've seen it on, i've actually seen her name credited for it. i just didn't notice this before beacise i didn't know who that person was.
if i had written it i'd be honored that so many people were able to get comfort form it in a number of different ways.

i posted this for mothers day to do something nice beacuse this is something my mother liked and i figured maybe some other mother would like it and all anyone can do is b***h and moan and say how it "makes them sick"

Well... the reason it makes some people sick is because it's not true. And it's not true in a potentially damaging way.

The "special children only get sent to special parents" thing means, taken to its logical conclusion, that, for instance, autistic children are not subject to child abuse, because we only get sent to special parents who can take care of us.

When I know an autistic man whose parents used to throw him across the room for stimming. I know an autistic woman whose parents burned her hands on the stove deliberately. I know many autistic people whose parents beat them. But when they go for help, they can get told that they must be misinterpreting things, or that it takes a very special kind of parent to raise them, or that they deserve it, or that their parents being so "special" know what's best for them, or a lot of other things. Even when what they're reporting is something that, if a non-autistic person reported it, would get a lot more results.

If you send things to a forum largely populated by autistic people, you ought to expect people to read them fairly literally, and to think of the logical conclusions of what is said. And telling people not to reply, or acting like people are bad or negative or something for replying in ways you don't happen to like, or for not supplying the proper "uplifting" emotions... seems like expecting a whole lot from people who aren't likely to run around looking for what emotional state we can put people in today or any other day.

i'm sure i'll get bashed for this one, but.....some days i find this poem quite comforting....some days, it's all i have to remind me that i am a patient person ....

I'm not Christian. I mention that only to give some more context.

I liked that poem.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this kind of thing is the part of Christianty that I respect and see wisdom in.

It may be a little simplistic, but when you're trying to express ideas, it helps to break them down and relate them seperately.


I post this because you're probably going to get more angry comments

If you're going to get banned for that, then there would have to be something fundementally wrong with these forums and you'd be better off People might get really indignant at you though.

It's also incorrect to characterize disagreement as "angry" or "bashing", although it's a very good way to make people who disagree with you look bad or unreasonable.

Frequently, it may not be that incorrect an assessment. Some ways of phrasing things look much nastier then they are ment to be. Sometimes someone might be behaving condesending without concious knowledge.

Furthermore, if you did not believe that you where not behaving in such a manner, then you do not need to consider my post as applying to you.


I've been on the internet long enough to know that anything one says can provoke not just anger, but shear unbridled rage. Anything having to do with religion is something that can cause that reaction easily.

I've been busy and just today came back here to check the forum. After the week we've had, I agree with ster and I want to thank Xuincherguixe for your comments.

So, it's simplistic, plagiarized - whatever. In this parent's forum there are days when we all need a little boost to just keep going and keep trying and appreciate the small steps - thank you flea.

It is also dangerous to think austic children come from god. They don't. They come from our genes. We have the potential to pass this on to others and make them suffer as we have suffered. We need to realize this and take precautions. I mourn because I think I have passed this on to my grandson. He never smiles. He is obscessed with paper towels. He hides in any nook he can fit his little body into.

Last edited by Bettyboo on 19 May 2006, 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

just to set the record straight, i don't sit in the corner and cry every day. most days are just fine. i'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, nor to feel sorry for my son, hubby and daughter who have aspergers....such is life. some days, however, it is comforting to hear some words of kindness and praise. and i'm not sure why i'm being faulted for that. i believe that WP is a place where everyone is allowed to voice their opinion. certainly, you have your opinion~ i wasn't trying to say that you were wrong to feel as you do. i was simply acknowledging ( based on the posts above me in this thread), that my opinion would not be a very popular one.