Quitting violin

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My son who is 12 has studied violin at his school for 4 years and now has decided to quit.
He wants to study guitar now. It's fine with me but his dad was furious and wants him to continue until after high school. He says that a violin is a classy instrument and that the guitar is associated with all that is dirty. I don't believe in forcing a kid to stay with an instrument he doesn't love. He's reached an adult sized violin and I'm willing to trade it in for a guitar and some lessons. I don't see why my husband is SO upset about it. Any thoughts?

I think that your son should take up guitar if he wants.

Maybe your husband read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. It's a very disturbing parenting book and the author actually says the same thing your husband said.

In any case I think your son should switch instruments if he'd like. The violin is classy and the guitar is classy too. Tell your husband that other things besides death metal can be played on it.

Why doesn't dad want son to find an instrument that he loves and will continue to play his entire life?

Actually, when you think of it in those terms, guitar is the better choice -- a more obvious solo instrument, which is important to factor in as someone leaves school and opportunities for ensemble playing (orchestra or whatever) dry up.


I love that! Seriously, I LOLed


Whatever you believe in or don't believe in, if your kid doesn't love the violin, then no amount of "forcing" is ever going to pay off. When I was that age, my mom (a piano teacher) "forced" me to practice until my own piano teacher basically told her to stop bothering -- it was no use. Instead, I took up the drums and proceeded to practice 4 or 5 hours a day for the next 30 or so years...


I dunno ... maybe he doesn't want to see his garage turned into a band rehearsal space.


If your son shows interest and talent on *any* instrument, thank God and nurture that! A love of music will enrich his life more than just about anything else could. If he doesn't like playing the violin, he will quit -- whether his dad thinks that's a classy thing to do or not.

Could you broker a compromise for the time being? Like son continues to play violin in school and starts taking guitar lessons, too? If he's good at guitar and it really sticks -- and on the other hand, the violin starts to suffer -- then you have your answer. And that should be pretty clear to dad. Find some videos of classical or flamenco guitar on youtube for dad while you're at it. It doesn't get much classier than that, IMO.

After you ask him why he feels so strongly about it, I'd ask your husband whether he would prefer your son to be a musical adult or not. I was made to play flute all through grade school and gave it up the second I had a chance - I regret not having something to play now.

Guitar has the added benefit of being an instrument you can play at social occasions, and everyone will be happy about it. (Piano's another one - but it isn't portable.) It's a legitimate source of escape for a kid struggling to socialize - they can organize a sing-along or something like that. Violin, not so much.

This is along the same lines of what I meant when I said, "more obvious solo instrument." momsparky said it better...

I wonder how both would feel about an electric violin?

I wasn't given real choices about musical instruments when I was in elementary school. I lasted two years on the first instrument and then quit. When I resumed lessons a few years later, it still wasn't on the instrument of my choice. It also didn't last long. I finally taught myself guitar and played for decades.

Forced playing of a musical instrument is not real playing. One has to choose ones own instrument (or be chosen by it). Anything else is silliness. Postponing your son's joy in music until he finishes high school may well kill it. That would be very sad.

Your husband may need to process whatever is driving his issues, but it has nothing to do with your son's musical interests, and if your husband loves the violin, he might want to learn it himself.

Playing a classical instrument is boring, hard work when you aren't interested. On the other hand, most adults I know wished they tried harder and didn't give their folks such a hard time. Others don't regret quitting at all. What was much more important to me than playing the instrument was learning to appreciate music. That can last a lifetime no matter when you quit.

If he quits, there is no way to tell now if he will regret it but he always has a chance, like any other adult, to pick it up again. Violin teachers do teach adults. My husband started self-learning piano at age 38. My background helped, of course. And he can always learn classical guitar. That music is beautiful. Really classy.

I would probably take your son to see lots of instruments in lots of different situations and varying musical styles. Maybe he wants to choose guitar because that is what he sees rock musicians playing.

Introduce him to some scar (usually has brass), pop (counting crows and rem use strings), jazz (virtually any instrument including strings), gamalan, ect ect. He may fall in love with a sax or tuba or still want to play guitar.

Personally i would encourage both and grab some jazz standards, beatles arrangements and some country/western music for violin so he doesn't have to play boring classical stuff all the time (I love classical but i am thinking your son doesn't).

I understand where your husband's coming from to be honest- violin would get him mixing with the right people and it is a much classier instrument, so it would represent a better personality if he played it.

I would suggest agreeing to fund the guitar only if he plays violin for his father. That way the guitar is his reward, and he still gets to appreciate music. If he doesn't practice the violin, he doesn't get guitar lessons until he pays for them.

Trumpet... they made me play trumpet. I couldnt stand the noise. or the vibration on my lips.

This is all they had left open.? I wanted to play drums? I like the bass beat and numbers.

I wanna rock ! I want to be me ! classical ?

Aspie mind aside they are both string instruments and should easily carry over, A friend of mine plays and teaches them all. And plays in an orchestra,
Upset because they are willing and able to learn another instrument, Learn them all !

Did you know they make an electric violin ?
Did you know not all rockers are dirt bags ?

well its off to band practice, ..........playing drums !

A guitar can be just as classy. Show your husband this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdYkCogNoPY , http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4osz2 ... folk_music
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blacksmith_%28song%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:E ... folk_songs


Sit back and joy good old traditional folk songs.

The compromise can be thus: He MUST learn traditional folk songs with his guitar; and not only try to "rock it out" only.

Compromise - acoustic classical guitar first...

Buying a guitar doesn't mean you have to sell the violin. Likewise, stopping violin lessons doesn't mean you have to start guitar lessons.

In response to some of the other comments, I'm unconvinced that a child that stuck with one instrument for four years then quit, will necessarily find his lifetime love in his very next instrument. I think it's as likely that he'll quit that too after a few years.

Definitely let him take up guitar, it doesn't mean at all that he'll fall into the "rockstar" lifestyle. It's what he wants to do, and there's nothing destructive about it.