What is a good vacation for an Aspie?

Post Reply New Topic

We have learned the hard way what is a BAD or non-vacation for our 7 year old Aspie son. We went to Disney World and we knew it would be difficult for him, but thought the things he was really looking forward to would out -weigh this (Star Wars, pool time, fireworks) We were wrong. I totally admit it, it was a bad choice that we won't make again unless he is old enough to give input. He had some of the worst melt downs of his life there and everything was hard for him. I don't blame him, we stressed him in every area, it was a stupid choice.

Having said that for the future: What do you think is a GOOD vacation for an Aspie?
Beach is out, sand is sensory overload for him
Disney out.

Thoughts?

--Kat

What's his obsessive interests?

As a person obsessed with psychology and genetics, my idea of a great vacation might be to go to a very pretigious university and start photocopying journal articles. Or else go to a conference about some rare disability.

Another thought - Autreat is coming up. It's a conference run by autistic people for autistic people, to provide autistics with an opportunity to connect with others like them. I'd love to go if I could travel to Philadelphia...

My favorite vacations as a kid was Yellowstone and the Redwoods, aka nature stuff. Since he loves Starwars( I commend him on his choice of sci-fi obsession.) the redwoods would probably be funner since you can tell him that it is the setting for "The Forest Moon of Endor", also you can avoid most people altogether and just let him run around big trees . Next to the ocean as well so you might be able to go whale watching, or something else like that. Try and find a mosquito spray he can stand if you do take him on a nature vacation, and going during "off seasons" to nature areas will cut down on the number of people there. Just make sure the off seasons aren't to horrible due to weather.

If those don't work just keep in mind you should avoid anything in a city or with large crowds.

He loves star wars and legos. So we thought the Star Wars stuff at Disney would win him over. We also went to the cool new lego store, but that proved to be also too overwhelming.

I don't think there is a single answer here.

Some things we've always done:

Avoid peak hours and crowds.
Avoid anything with long lines.
Avoid anything noisy.
Do plan ahead, knowing times and schedules.
Do leave options, as in the ability to leave at the drop of a hat if the child is overwhelmed (not paying $100 for tickets helps).
Do hand the child control of the map.
Do stay in chain hotels and use chain restaurants that are familiar to the child.

My son really enjoys camping and museums. But he's a surprisingly good traveler, just really likes it.

It will depend on your child. I have moderate classic autism with awful sensory issues and I still loved going to Disneyworld!

Did you know you can get Front of the Line passes for a child on the spectrum? You will also get use of a quiet room to wait for rides and to go if you need some downtime.

However, that even not being helpful.. What about camping? Any cool museums he may be interested in?

If you call ahead, there are many places that will make special arrangements for your child. A meltdown room even. I've found that if we can find a quiet place to go for the meltdown, our trip can be salvaged. Our meltdowns usually end in about 20 minutes and all is forgotten. Not sure what your child's meltdowns are like. But by all means, call places and see what arrangements can be made.

I like travelling and camping, and I am even active as a volunteer with camps for children.

Some tips:
- use a similar schedule as at home: in the morning breakfast, round twelve something to eat (even when you are away, you pick a quiet spot), and dinner round six or seven
- avoid peak hours
- when visiting a busy and noisy place keep it to a few hours, not too long
- take familiar items (I still like having my own sleeping bag)
- use certain days as quiet time, just staying at the hotel or camp site

But a lot of things depend on the child. For example I liked to visit cities (still do), but I needed a quiet day later.


In this case of star wars and lego... maybe a star wars dedicated museum or a miniature park could be a nice idea. You could also take a case of legos with you for the quiet days.

Avoid surprises. Either have your vacation at your home, or if you go to another place, then tell in advance, what is going to happen there and what the place is like.

Crowded and noisy places are probably not the good ones.

We do try very hard to include my son's special interests in our vacations - so, the summer after kindergarten, it was Sea World (no roller coasters or rides required, and he didn't do any) and the Kennedy Space Center, lately it's been visiting show caves or zoos with Red Pandas. Sometimes we'll find a local military museum where we're going.

This helps my son deal with the change in routine, which is a really significant stress for any kid on the spectrum. If what you're asking is "how can I keep vacation from being one meltdown after another," I think you need to remember that the concept of vacation - breaking your routine to do something different - is anathema to a kid on the spectrum, at least to some degree.

So, whatever you do, prepare yourself that it will be difficult for your child, make sure they are included in your plans and understand the new routine - unless, of course, your idea of a vacation is staying home and playing video games or watching TV for 12-hour-stretches.

*I* was going to recommend the beach, but with sensory overload, I can see the problem wit that one. My middle one had a fear of almost anything touching her feet. Sand was one of those.

My kids (except the one who seems to have ADHD) all love the natural history museum. (All places I am going to mention are either in Cleveland or Akron, Ohio). They likes to see most of the exhibits and I think if she could, my 11 year old would live there. She especially loved the area with the dinosaur bones where there were aquatic skeletons. She loves sea life (to the point that she refuses to eat anything that comes out pf the water). There is also a planetarium there. Every time we went, we had to go to the planetarium and watch the show. A word of warning though. Know what they will be doing ahead of time. My parents took me to one when I was a child, and I "was fine until "the big bang' happened. They held silence for effect, and then over the speakers they had a loud explosion. That's all I really remember from that trip, but I do remember that after I got over the initial shock, I was fine, but I loved the stars, so that may have helped me. I want to say that I was about 3 or 4, maybe 5.

They also all love the Great Lakes Science Center. This place is hands on. The kids get to do their own experiments and almost everything is for the kids to touch and use. Even though there are crowds, they can go to their own little place and 'play'. None of them seemed to notice when people were around in groups, and if they did, they just moved to another station. I think I was more overwhelmed than they were (and one of my 11 year old's fiends - who also has AS - was with us. They hung out together and pretty much gave each other support).

They all also love to go camping and canoeing, although I was scared to death the first time we took the now 11 year old in the canoe. She was terrified of water and I was so afraid that she would fall in. She loved it. She was only 2 1/2, but she still remembers the trip.

Parks are good. I take them to play parks, parks with caves and cliffs, parks with woods, parks with fields. They just love parks. As long as I have something to keep them entertained, they love it.

I want to take my kids to an aquarium down in Cincinnati. I have been there, and it is a great place. They have a couple exhibits where the kids can touch live sharks (small ones that do not bite) and I believe they even had a stingray tank. Again, I was overwhelmed by the crowds at some places, but my curiosity got the best of me and I worked my way through. I loved the sharks swimming above me and the Jelly tanks.

The question I need to answer when plannaning a vacation is: who needs the vacation? If it's me, I plan someplace I will like where the kids will be happy letting me do what i want. For instance, on our last vacation to Maui, we brought the laptop with Internet access and got a condo right on the beach. The boys could sit and watch tv and be on the computer while eating their usual food (plus Hawaiian favorites)' while dad and I hang at the beach or snorkel.

We plan a few family events, but for the most part let them do what they want. This holds true for son with AS and the NT teenager.

Right now my AS son doesn't want to do anything for a vacation for himself, so I am not trying to kill myself trying to plan one. I'm just trying to be sure that my vacations are tolerable for him.

Also, he is in a day camp designed for kids with social and sensory issues (not DX specific). He was really unsure T first, but I have to say it has been the best experience he has had. The people who developed it did an amazing job, this has been a good vacation at home for DS. in fact, I would say that this is ideal, as he can come home and decompress after a long, fun day.

Here's a success story - we live about 50 minutes from camp, and 50 minutes to the bus stop for camp. To me, it didn't make any sense to drive 50 minutes to the bus, so DS could ride an additional 30 minutes with a bus full of kids, so I drove him straight to camp. he actually requested that I take him to the bus instead of to camp, so he could have more time with the kids.

HUH? Is this my son?

We did a successful Disneyland/Seaworld/Legoland trip at 8yo, and are planning a Disneyworld/Universal/Kennedy trip for this November (our sons are 11yo now). In order to make these trips successful it has taken a tonne of pre-planning. We do many of the same things that others have mentioned.
-travel in the off-season for lower crowds & cooler weather
-research, research, research! I learn everything I can, and include my sons in this learning process. At this point we pretty much know Disneyworld inside and out and we've never actually been there! This way we all know what to expect and can make informed decisions about what to do with our time.
-hardcore planning. My sons and I all love lists, maps and itineraries. This helps us to feel in control, and reduces stress. We also make contingency plans if things don't go according to plan A or B. At home we can be fairly flexible, but on vacation we need lots of structure to feel happy and safe. Wandering around without a clear plan will lead to misery and meltdowns for us. Specifically for Disney we use things like Touring Plans and Ridemax (love Ridemax!). My sons get to have as much input into the planning as DH and I.
-plan for a lot of downtime and breaks. The first Disney trip we only stayed for 2 mornings, and a short visit one evening. We in no way got our "money's worth" considering the price of the tickets, but that was all my sons could handle.
-stick to the usual routine as much as possible for meal and bedtimes. We also try to have familiar foods available and sleeping arrangements as similar to home as possible. Having all of us crammed into a hotel room together for more than a night or two is a recipe for disaster. We usually stay in vacation villas, which gives us more space and our own kitchen to prepare familiar meals.
-focus on special interests
-think about sensory needs and aids. Noise-blocking headphones, gum, massages and swimming are helpful to my boys for keeping them in balance.

For less demanding vacations we do the same things, it just requires less planning because it's not as intense an experience as the theme parks (for those we train and plan like we're new army recruits headed into battle!).

Some of our very favourite vacations have been "stay-cations" where you stay at home and explore things in the vicinity that you wouldn't normally do. One spring break we had a croc & turtle themed stay-cation (my sons' main interests at the time) where we scoped out everything and anything related to crocs and turtles in a 200km radius including zoos, a reptile house and the local herpetological society. We also did related crafts and activities at home, watched documentaries and got a giant stack of books out of the library. It was really fun, and 100% Aspie friendly.

Good point: chucking any concept that you need to get your money's worth, really helps. If you are going to feel that way about something, just don't do it; don't buy that ticket; don't choose that venue. You can't guarantee your child can handle it well enough to meet the standard, and one sure way to guarantee misery, it seems, is trying to be so determined to have a good time and get what you came for that you don't carefully check for and meet your child's needs.

We did Disneyland and enjoyed it, too - in November, researched on the internet first, my son in charge of the map and where we went, lots of breaks, and so on. I didn't get to do a single favorite ride or event, but I knew going in that was likely, so I wasn't disappointed. Knowing your kids had a good time despite all the challenges is something to put a smile on one's face all by itself.

I think my kids would rank DC as better than Disneyland, or even Legoland (which they prefer, actually), though. They liked those museums THAT much, lol. Then again, they aren't 7 anymore Then again, my AS son has loved museums pretty much forever, it is my NT daughter who had to grow into it ... And all those Smithsonian's are FREE, you never have to worry about not getting your money's worth if you cut short your time and chill at the hotel instead (don't take the tour bus, though .. annoyingly slow; just use the metro, your feet, or a cab).

We, too, have learned to suck it in and spend extra money on multiple hotel rooms or a rental home. I tend to say its because of my NT daughter, not my AS son, but it really is how those two are together in a crowded space. There is no point in going if you are going to be miserable, so it is better to spend more money on fewer trips, than try to save but not have the kids happy.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 31 Jul 2011, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think doing Disney with Ridemax will get you double the value in 1/2 the time! We have gone to DL in peak season without Ridemax and gone on like two rides in eight hours. With Ridemax, in peak season we finish all of our must do rides by 11:00. The rest of the day is just spent using fast passes at our lesiure. we go on all of the must dos as many times as we want.

This has been the greatest facilitator of my as pie loving DL. prior to Ridemax, it was multiple meltdowns. Ridemax really changed everything for us!

I agree that the answer could be different depending on the kid. My kid hates to feel left out and loves to do everything. We just have to plan and do more work for it to go off better. We went to Disney 2 years ago when my son was 7 1/2. It was one of our best vacations and no one can wait to go back. I did buy a book, hit the DIS forums and make a comprehensive touring plan for our family. Basically, I researched the heck out of it to make sure we could hit the fewest hick-ups as possible. Then I try to not get myself too worked up if we have to adjust the plan I worked so hard on. I think that is necessary no matter what the trip is for us. It is a lot of work for me and I think my family takes it for granted how much effort I put into our trips, but the times when I haven't, I am the one that has paid the most, so it works well for me.

I agree with having more room. We are a large family anyway, so we can't fit into a small room, but I am sold on renting condos or vacation homes. We had a 3 bedroom townhouse when we stayed at Disney last time. Sure, we had to drive into Disney, but the kids don't know any different and we loved having a kitchen and room to spread out. We are planning another trip for next summer as the kids want to go to Harry Potter now and we are again staying in a very nice townhouse in the Windsor Hills area. It is much more cost efficient too.

Getting his input would help too. That way he is more in control and has buy in and a reason to put up with things that might not be ideal if he really wants to do it.