math anxiety

Post Reply New Topic

daughter came home yesterday with a C on a math test ( she's in 3rd grade)....Frankly, I could care less~it shows what I've been trying to get them to notice for a long time ( she has a difficult time with math).....Daughter, however, was absolutely devastated. She barely even did her math homework ( which I can't help her with anymore because the teacher has requested that parents NOT help their kids with their homework).There was tons of crying. So frustrating trying to get anyone to help her~right now it seems that everything is hingeing on the outcome of her eval...and who knows when that will be done~the dr is supposed to visit the school on Thursday to watch her in school. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !! !

Oh you honor the teacher request. So let her honor yours "I would like to put
my daughter in a class with a different teacher you suck"

hang on hang on

You said:

which I can't help her with anymore because the teacher has requested that parents NOT help their kids with their homework

you cant help her

why cant someone else help her?

who isnt a parent say?

would that work?

or am i just being the logical aspie?

Why can't you just help her anyway? Or get a tutot for her? I mean if it will help.

Indeed. BTW can't the teacher mean by that that he doesn't want you to, like, do her homework? I can't believe a teacher doesn't want parents to help their kid. Here parents are encouraged to help their kids...

A lot of times the teachers start a blanket rule about no parental help on homework because they feel that as the kids get older two things happen:

1) They need to develop independence and responsibility
2) The parents become less *able* to help as the work gets harder.

However they fail to grasp that with kids on the spectrum that independence and responsibility may come much later.

Sometimes I take what the teacher says as a grain of salt. However, if your child is in the process of getting tested then helping her with her homework will show them your skill, not your childs. Call or email the teacher and ask her why you cant help.

If your daughter is on the spectrum doesnt she have an iep or a 504 so her work and tests can be modified, like instead of filling in the blank, she can have multiple choice.

Today I got my math test, I knew every single answer yet i got a D, yes I cried and it hurt alot. I failed because the directions werent specific enough, i found out the answer wanted a specific definition but it didnt state that in the directions. I also have dyslexia, so I read the multiple choice questions wrong, I knew the answer was C, but I circled B.

Maybe so she doesnt get as upset, ask the teacher to make marks with a black pen instead of a bold red marker, so when she gets the paper back it looks "less devastating". Or have her write the percent instead of the actual letter grade.

If she has an AS diagnosis, try getting her into a special math class.

thanks for all of the replies....we're in somewhat of a bind, in that, the dr who's doing her eval
( she's still undx'd) is coming to visit her in her current class tomorrow. he wants to see her in class.daughter can't wait to see "the man", and said she'll try to behave really good.....what a bind that puts me in ! I asked her if she wanted help...of course she said yes...then i said: don't try to act any differently than normal ( i fear that she'll act too NT, and fly under the radar).......I'm going to call the dr friday to see just how much longer things are going to take. the school seems to be stalling doing much of anything until they get a dx....i've requested the school do an OT eval~haven't heard back from that yet either.....
as far as the theory behind not helping her with her homework, bigbear basically quoted her philosophy:helping her with her homework will show them your skill, not your childs.
After hearing this at the open house, I specifically talked to the teacher and said that there will be lots of tears and unfinished homework...sent daughter in with unfinished homework yesterday~ daughter was distraught at leaving 2 problems blank...but she finally gave in. last night, she had math homework again and left more spaces blank. I wonder when the teacher is actually going to realize that daughter doesn't get it !
in the end, i want daughter to get the help she needs~ and if i'm helping her too much with her homework, it won't appear that she needs much help.
Hyperalien~ yes, my aspie son said the same thing...had a good laugh...

oh ok then

i just thought that was the best solution

parent cant help get someone else to help

Just seemed like the logical thing

Machine I would love to tell that to some teachers......if they insist on piling the homework for kids then they should allow parents to help! I say Posh... help her and tell the school to screw themselves...

Ster, the Doctor that diagnosed my son said that Aspie kids usually behave well or NT when they are being watched. My son was picture perfect while being observed!! It is frustrating. Good luck to you!

i almost want to tell her that i'll give her a reward for acting up in class, but know that if she's asked why she's behaving badly she'll say "mom told me to".....I'm apprehensive that the doc will say that she's just quirky and smart....................Although I don't really wish this on her, I kind of wish that she'd have one of her AWFUL tantrums while he's there so he can see just what we're dealing with.she had a bad tantrum tonight because we told her that the doc would only be there for a couple of hours ( she thought he'd be there all day)....haven't told her that he won't be her personal one-to-one like he was during the formal testing...don't know how she'll take that.oh, i just want it all to be over~why do they have to drag these things out ????

Then, try to calmly explain to your daughter that the teacher has earned that "C" since that's the best teaching s/he can do for your child.

Then, explain to your daughter that you tried playing by the teacher's rules, but obviously she needs a little help and you are more than willing to help her with her math.

And, if your daughter tells the teacher what you said - tough. Why is it only kids have to suffer from bad teaching anyway?

I understand a teacher not wanting parents to do their kids' work for them, but some kids need to have someone go back over things with them a few times until they get it. Is her teacher willing to do that? Maybe that's something your daughter needs. If so, I would think a parent reviewing with the child would make for less pressure since teachers have limited time.