How do your daughters dress?

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It's been called to my attention that I let my daughter dress "trashy". She's 5, so I don't see how that's an appropriate word to use.

But, anyway, I don't really ever see me being very strict with clothing. I don't much care so long as all of the private parts are covered.

How do your daughters dress? And why?

My prepubescent daughter wears all-cotton unisex clothes like jeans and tee shirts, sneakers and flip flops, with no glitter, lace, or itchy tags to annoy the senses. She wears skorts instead of skirts and bike shorts under dresses because she can't "sit like a lady" yet.

"Trashy" clothing is the kind that is a smaller size version of what adult women wear to attract sexual attention. Not only does it send a message you might not intend, but the glitter and lace and polyester used in the garments is uncomfortable for spectrum kids and restricts their play options.

My daughter is NT. I posted here because of *my* diagnosis.

My daughter doesn't wear her clothes to attract boys. She just puts things on that she likes. She definitely thinks more "princess" than anything else.

An example of clothing that has bothered someone:

pink tights with hearts
White biker shorts on top
T-shirt
Elsa heels

Not sure how what to imagine when you say trashy. I would be thinking of a child that is not dressed age appropriately.
DD is tall for her age, she takes a clothes size 2 or 3 years older than her real age. I remember when she was 5/6 and wore clothing for 7/8 year olds I sometimes found it hard to find clothes that looked her age.
Now she is almost 12 and wear clothing for 14-yr olds and we sometimes have discussions as to why she shouldn't be wearing deep cut neck lines, bras with padding or shorts that leave little to the imagination.
If I was to let DDalmost12 choose her own style she would definitly end up looking like tarty trash. She would be influenced only by what she sees in the media as that is where her fashion role models are.
Only today I had to point out to her that 'smart dress' for a horsing event didn't mean a nice flower print top and she took my advice and changed to a plain white top.
When she needed new winter shoes and wanted high heeled boots it took us 15+ shoe shops before we found a compromise with a pair that has 'built-in' heels.
She's not allowed to wear jewellery or make-up to school either for a few years yet but I let her experiment at home.

Oh, I do totally let her dress herself. She has since she was 2.

I had someone say that a couple times about spaghetti straps on very hot days for playing outdoors. That's too much for some people and to them looks trashy.

I think we're sexualizing little girls if we go to far with it, but don't like the heels except for play, or makeup, etc. I'd think about the context, who is saying it, what other kids wear, etc. for me less coverage (but not too tight) when it's over 90 isn't trashy but uncovering for the sake of looking dressy might be.

It's hard to find no trashy girls clothing in the stores though!

Ouch

I had to google Elsa heels...

They are play shoes to me and only suitable for indoors and the garden as far as I'm concerned.
The combination of those with the tights and the white biker shorts would probably make me cringe
Mind you, I've grown to see Disney as the commercialization of childhood

I guess I don't see anything sexual about heels. I feel like the sexual nature is in other people's minds. My daughter certainly isn't thinking it.

She likes heels because of the way they sound on hard floor. She has loved them since she was very tiny, peering out of her high hair at restaurants to see the shoes woman are wearing.

The Elsa heels aren't really play shoes. Let me find a link to the pair she has.

Will you explain to me what makes you cringe though? I don't understand it yet. I want to understand it first and then decide if I care.

Here you go:

http://m.target.com/p/disney-frozen-tod ... A-15841282

It's hard to believe now, but when I was really young I once only wanted to wear dresses. My mom had to talk me out of wearing a dress while swimming at the beach!

Even if I wanted to I couldn't wear sparkly princess shoes meant for playing dress-up, I had trouble walking so I had to wear corrective shoes. I don't like the mention of Disney commercializing childhood, but since it's so evil I'd better go burn my Ariel and Tinkerbell dolls and rip up my Mickey Mouse shirts...

It seems to me sometimes that people are so paranoid they don't want their kids to even wear shorts and t-shirts even when it's summer and it's broiling hot and everyone else is wearing them. I read that in African countries tourists from NA are often shocked by the way little girls are so skimpily dressed, but they live in such a hot climate. These days I hate wearing shorts but I wear short sleeved tops even in winter.

Not sure if I can. It's pretty superficial really as it is about values and perceptions. DD has never been allowed to pick her own clothes. She has had an opinion as to what she 'wants' to wear since around the age of 9 and I take her opinion into consideration when I do clothes shopping.
Spagheti straps are ok if the weather is warm enough. Don't happen that often in Belgium though but nevertheless she got enough of them for a different one every day of the week. I'm a bit more flexible on shorts as long as her bumcheeks are covered and she wears them down with some trainers.
It's what all the kids around here do and I think the bottom line for me is that she fits in on looks as it gives less reason to be excluded for being different.
They did that to her when she was younger. She would love to wear twirly skirts with bold prints and leli kelly footwear . She was 6/7 and all the girls in her class would laugh with her flower shoes with lots of sparkles.
So I suppose by conforming to the local custom she gets an easier life

It's really hard to learn the things people can't explain.

If they say you're daughter is dressing trashy, that says more about them than your daughter. They may complain her clothes are too "sexualized" for such a young girl but it's equally sexualizing to say she has to dress conservatively. Let your daughter dress how she wants. There will always be people criticizing your parenting style no matter what you do. She's your daughter so you can raise her how you see fit without listening to the opinion of everyone else. In parenting as in all other aspects of life you shouldn't try to please everyone because different people will have mutually exclusive expectations. Your daughter chooses her own clothing? That's fine. It's OK to give your daughter a measure of freedom if you think she can handle it. It's your decision so you needn't listen to anyone else's opinion. There will always be more socially conservative types who resent children being allowed any freedom, who expect them to grow up in a bubble and then when they reach adulthood to spontaneously know how to deal with the adult world. It doesn't work like that. A child cannot go from not making any decisions for her self to planning out her whole career and life the moment she turns eighteen. As for those conservative types and other critics, tell them to apply their ideas to their own kids. Tell them you will raise your daughter how you want.

That get-up does sound a little like something a streetwalker would wear, LOL. Unless you have a special interest in the connotations of fashion, you might always be somewhat blind to this issue. I've always liked this comic about the ridiculous "fine lines" between what clothing is considered appropriate: http://www.viruscomix.com/page551.html

You can make a point out of saying your daughter is being allowed to develop her own fashion sense and make her own choices to anyone who tries to shame you in the future.

How does a 5 year old dress trashy? I mean unless you're getting her super low cut jean shorts that don't even cover all of her butt, with a swim suit top or something....but I didn't think they made those kinds of clothes for 5 year olds. Or are you dressing her in miniature sexy underwear to walk about in? I just don't see it....I think whoever said that is the one with the issue to call a little 5 year old girl trashy.