Was what my mom did okay?

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Hi everyone,
I got a water toy for Christmas from family and then recently I learned that my mom stole it from me and gave it to her co-worker to give to their child. I confronted my mom about it.She said that she gave it away without my permission because I never used it.The reason why I never used it mainly is because it was winter time when I got it so I did not want to get too cold from using it in the winter time. My mom also got mad at me and said that my I will be alone for the rest of my life.
What recourse do I have.I dont want to report the theft because its my mom.I wanted my mom to pay me back for her theft but she refuses to pay me anything.She says that I owe her because she raised me I never understood that because I never asked to be born.What should I do?What in the world?I cant believe my own mom stole my Xmas present.

i'm sorry you had to experience this bad treatment from your own mother, but i don't believe this rises to a court-mediated offense. but it is not a good thing that your mom did, and i hope you recognize that as a mere mortal she is as prone to judgmental lapses as any human.

that was a double bad thing she did when she insulted you on top of injuring you by the theft. but i am afraid that if you took her to small claims court 1]it might be a tall order to get a judge to rule in your favor, and 2] it could well burn your bridges not only with your mom but also with your siblings [if you have any] who might side with her. these two possibilities can't be dismissed out of hand as impossibilities.

sometimes life slaps us and we are powerless to slap back. all too often, for too many of us children of a lesser god, it is a mean ol' world.

What you should have gotten from her is an apology and confirmation that next time she wants to give away something of yours she will ask you first. To insult you instead was an inappropriate response.

Forget the money value. As a family, all the "stuff" in the home is considered, by some people, fair game to the heads of the home. I don't hold that position, myself, but I've met enough people that do to think it would be unwise to create an issue over it. It's the sentimental value and intent that matter more, and the lack of respect she's shown you. It was your gift, not hers, and her action showed insensitivity to your potential feelings, as well as the feelings of the person who gave the gift. If she can't respect you, can she respect the person who gave the gift? Her actions were equally thoughtless to them. I feel like your goal should be for her to acknowledge that she acted inappropriately, and then move on.

It was disrespectful of her to just get rid of it before asking first.

It reminds me of a gift I had bought my brother one Christmas, which was a funny novelty moneybox. Then about a year later I found out my mum had thrown it out. She said she thought it was just junk, but both me and my brother were mad because she didn't have the right to just go into his room and throw away something of his without asking him first.

Your only recourse is to steal from her and not get caught.

You can’t be charged with theft from people in your own home. I had to report it once when my then-partner stole money and goods from my children to pawn for drug money.

Do not “steal” it back from your mother. This is a domestic situation where you’ll need to discuss your concern with your mother and set boundaries about what’s yours and what’s hers including gifts.

Stealing gifts from someone to re-gift to someone else is simply wrong.  What your mom did is NOT okay.

I have a difficult time believing that involving the law, no matter what it may say, will improve your situation with your parents. I understand you are frustrated, especially since she seems to have a history of taking your stuff, but you really need to find another way to get your point across and be heard. I've mentioned before that you might need to find a way to demonstrate additional maturity and responsibility as a way of challenging them into respect, and perhaps we could brainstorm something along those lines here. Getting inside their heads is hard, but what if you purchased a locking cabinet for your things, and diligently stored them there, ensuring she didn't have either temptation or access? If they ask questions, you could answer that you are tired of them disrespecting your possessions, so decided to make the possibility a non-issue, remove the source of temptation? Make sure to keep all your things in your private space, keep your private space spotless, do your own wash, and give her no reasons to enter your space.

Or you move out, taking all your things with you, but I know you have reasons you can't. So making life in the current situation best it can be is the project.