I can appreciate the op's point. I know for a fact that he would be overwhelmed at Chuck E Cheese, because we took him to an arcade and he had a very wild and overwhelmed look in his eye. That time, I could tell. But he didn't say or do anything different. I could just see it in his eyes. But we know he has an auditory processing problem, and he is very distracted by visuals, so that was an easy one. Other situations are more subtle.
My problem is that our son, who is 4, doesn't or can't say most of the time when he is in an overwhelming situation. It is very hard to tell just by his behavior, because there are so many variables.
We went to a restaurant today with 2 other kids. He was very quiet and withdrawn, more than usual. Was it the situation, the fact that he's on antibiotics for an ear infection, the fact that he's had a lot of Valentine's candy this week and more prone to meltdowns, or something else?
Then one of the kids was scratching him on the head like a puppy, and he just stared at him but didn't react. Did that mean he didn't mind, or was he just too afraid to say? Yesterday, a little girl at OT bit off a chunk of his hair, and he didn't react then either. I am not sure if he doesn't mind 'cause he doesn't feel it, or if he wanted to say something but couldn't, or ?