Tardy? Go to jail!

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My son, 10, has been tardy 36 times this year. Yes, I know that is excessive, but so are the situations.

He does not do well in the morning, never has. He can be ready to walk out the door and have a meltdown/fade out. This can take anywhere from 1 to 30 minutes to undo. TV is only allowed on the weather channel in the mornings for this reason. He also has bladder control issues and frequently will wake up needing a bath. But that goes back to the not doing mornings well. I can place him in the bathroom with the water running and tell him to take a bath. 15 minutes later, he will stick his head out and ask what was he supposed to be doing again?

Oh, but it is not just him. We have...odd...neighbors who crank the music up until sometimes 4 am. Cops can only do so much and after six years, I quit trying. Between that and my history of not sleeping throughout my life, mornings can be heck for me too.

These problems really manifest themselves more at this house than any where else we may be staying saying like Granny's or motels. So I tried to get a job so we can pay off some medical debt and MOVE. No dice, son gets wound up and tossed out of school quite often. *different post*

So what does the school do? Take us to court. Yeah, court, that will help so much. By fining me and having to pay for representation, that will automatically make everything better. Right?

So why does he not ride the bus? He had issues on the bus and was asked to leave. He does ride the special ed bus in the afternoons, but no services are offered during the morning. Not that the bus driver would wait for me if I were not outside waiting any way. She sees it as if you have missed three rides, you don't need it.

I did not handle it well when the school representative showed up. I asked them if they think they could do better themselves and offered to let them try. I am very stressed after a violent death in the family last week.

Yeah, not well at all.

I can not afford to move right now, or legal counsel. I have to do this myself.

Any advice? Offers? I need to go in there with the best set of information available. Should I contact the school board first? So angry over this.

Does he have a IEP? And on a side note...do you think you have AS? It's very genetic and many of us have insomnia.

I wish I had more advice...someone will stumble along soon...good luck.

Hey, did you just join up here? Did we meet over at LJ this morning? This sounds like a post someone made there today. If I'm mistaken, forgive me. I'm SinAgua at LJ.

How can they turn his tardiness into a legal issue? I would figure the absolute worst a school could do for excessive tardiness is expel.

Did your son's school think your son was being abused or something so they called the police?

Oh they did that too SpokaneGirl. They thought he was sexually molested because he would not look them in the eye.

But this is different. The school is taking me to court on truancy charges.

excessive tardiness= absences..........excessive absences=truancy...........truancy=truancy officer............non-compliance with truancy officer=court.

at the moment we're just floating below the term truancy. what are you supposed to do? it's difficult, that's for sure. all you can really do is explain the situation to the best of your ability. offer concrete examples of the difficulties. ask for help. try to remain calm. explain that you had a death in the family at the last court date, and would really like to work together to come up with a solution. good luck!

can you find a disabilities rights lawyer to go to court with you. I think this is a law based on NT behavior and issues and there should be some leeway with both a parent and a child with AS that are dealing with totally different issues.

I am constantly shocked that there are parents with AS...yeah, I know intellectually that it's common but I can barely get myself out of bed as an adult. Getting the sleep deprived kid I use to be out of bed as an adult...no way. I would just crawl in with them and go back to sleep.

I still do exactly what your son does....15 minutes later...."What did I come in here for?" as I get side tracked reading all the labels on my vitamens when I was supposed to be showering for work

I'm sorry, but that is f'ed up. You have my sympathy, I know from personal experience that school officials are scum. Tell them that if they want him to get to school on time, they should get the Sp. Ed driver to shape up and actually PICK HIM UP in the mornings. I had a bus driver once (a regular one) who twice flatly refused to pick me up just because I was the only one at my bus stop. When I informed school officials, she pulled me aside on the bus one day and chatisied me for lying. AS IF she wasn't the one telling the school officials that there was no one there when she really skipped my stop while I was standing there in the rain... sorry, off topic. The school is probably trying to get people to believe you are bad parents as an excuse as to why they can't handle your child. (No offense.) Frankly speaking, you should give them hell for it in as many ways as possible, as that is a sneaky excuse for their neglect of their duty. IF they want to go to court (if possible), take them there and tell the judge exactly what the school has done to help you (which i assume is jack squat). At the very least that should get the ball rolling.

Schools attract too many sociopaths as staff.

krex That is why I take my baths at night. I am doing good to fall out of bed most mornings.

Roxas_XII I believe you. Short story. There was a different bus driver last year. One day she pointed to my son as he was walking towards the bus, pointed and yelled loud enough to be heard two car lengths away 'I don't have to let that on my bus.' I was too shocked to say anything. So I finished the school year out by taking him myself.

Remnant Word.

OK, first off you have a court case to deal with. You need to find some organization (state autism society, an organization such as PACER, etc) who can lead you to a lawyer that can represent you. Sounds like they did not hold an IEP meeting first to determine if the issue is disability related and as such, adjustments need to be made (such as modified school day). I know at least 2 families here who go through the same thing you do. One is actually reimbursed by the district for the morning transportation costs because it was proven that his morning issues were related to his disability and that he could not get to school through normal transportation channels.

As for the school bus issues, as a former school bus driver, I have seen that attitude here too. There are simply certain people who should not drive school bus (one special ed driver was finally fired after her 3rd infraction in dealing with a student, and one accident). It sounds like this driver has an attitude against your son and will write him up for any nitpick infraction that other children get away with. Unfortunately, like teachers, bus drivers really do not get paid well for the work required to be one. Most move on to other jobs (such as milk tanker, dump truck, cement truck, or fuel truck) drivers after a year or two because the pay is better and more consistent.

I feel for you. It looks like the schools are enforcing a law using a zero tolerance type policy without looking into why the law is being broken. Hopefully, you get a judge that will weigh all of the facts to determine if the violation is willful or not and if you get the right lawyer, may even force the school to adjust things for your son (which may be required under federal law anyways).