RE: Kids w/ Classic Autism, PDD-NOS & Speech Delays

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I hope this is an okay place to post this question. My colleagues and I (preschool teacher) are trying to persuade the mother of a 3-year-old boy in my class to take him to get properly evaluated and diagnosed. I have AS and I recognized autism in him right away, but much more severe than what I have. (See the "asperger or classic autism?" thread I started if anyone is interested in specifics.) He speaks almost constantly but it's almost entirely echoing and we can't get him to understand anything via verbal explanations. While we wait for the mother to get over her (already 6-month) denial to get him diagnosed so we can get him an assistant, we have to deal with him in addition to the 24 other kids, several of whom have hyperactivity and behavioral problems - we can't keep someone with him all the time anymore, but if we leave him alone for even a second there are huge problems.

The key problem right now seems to be aggression. He doesn't understand that pushing/hitting/etc. is bad, or that the others don't like it. We can explain until we're blue in the face, but it doesn't change a thing. He laughs as he shoves other kids to the ground (he enjoys slamming into the ground and doesn't seem to feel pain, so there's zero empathy). I'm abandoning verbal explanations as useless now. I have had occasional, partial success by grabbing him after he does something bad, getting him to look at my face (fortunately he's one of those rare ones who doesn't fear eye contact), putting on a tearful expression and saying simply "I am sad" while pointing at what he did. Now and then he seems to get it for a minute - the smile disappears and he calms down and stops the behavior. But it doesn't last long and it doesn't always work.

I've heard that some people have had success using pictures, however I'm not sure how to illustrate pushing or hitting in a way that he will be able to understand. I'm thinking that animation would be much more effective - one kid pushing another, the victim crying and being sad, the pusher realizing his mistake and apologizing, for example. But I don't know of any such resources.

Does anyone know where I could find something like this? Or maybe some pictures/comics that have been successful with other kids with verbal communication problems? I'd really appreciate anything that can help us out until we manage to persuade the mother that she can't just sit in denial forever.

By the way, the boy is Czech, only knows a few words of English, so any materials would really need to be fully non-verbal. Thanks a lot in advance for any advice!

I'm afraid the denial is due to other reasons which are far more complicated and difficult to solve. You can see the details in the thread I made in this forum, the "asperger or classic autism?" one. The short version is, it has to do with the cultural background and the history of this country.

Anyway thanks for the link. I'll have a look. Today I tried drawing some pictures (crude, but the best I could do) and talking to him about them. He was able to identify which person was happy and which was sad, and we talked through a short comic with one boy pushing another and the pushed one being hurt, then the pusher apologizing and both being happy at the end. He seemed to understand what was going on in each picture but it remains to be seen whether he really does or is just faking it again. Anyway I take it as a very good sign that I asked if a crying face was happy and he replied "Sad!"

I'll try to prepare some better materials for Monday. I'm sort of looking forward to it actually. I really love this kid! I only wish I could focus more energy on him rather than having to deal with all the other kids at the school all day.

The preschool may be enabling the parent's denial by allowing the boy to stay in the class.

Thanks for the link blondeambition!

Washi, I see your point, but in this country there aren't a lot of options. If we kick him out of our school - a private Montessori preschool where we can be flexible and work with him however we need to (though we really do need more help, and therefore a diagnosis) - he will end up in another school where, given the national level of ignorance regarding autism (and the prejudice against mental and physical difference which lingers even 20 years after the fall of communism), it is likely he will be treated as though he has a behavior problem and constantly punished. He will never get the help he needs and his development will be severely delayed if not permanently damaged. At least in our school he has me - I know what he's experiencing and most of the time I know how to deal with him. There's only a few things I need help with, hence my appeal to you all. But I definitely am a better guide for him than anyone he would find in another school.

So yes, it might be easier for the mother to stay in denial as long as we let him stay in the school. For that very reason, my boss is considering threatening to throw him out (though I don't think she would actually do it, I think she just hopes the threat will be enough of a shock). But as for actually throwing him out, I think it would be bad for him. Whether the parents are in denial or not, I feel a responsibility to help him however I can, and kicking him into another school would not help for sure.

Don't know what to suggest, but good luck and I think you are a wonderful person kotshka for caring about this boy, and going out of your way to try and help the situation.