02 Jun 2008, 8:34 pm
Thanks everybody, for actually responding to whether you're okay or not! What a pleasant surprise to have people say how they really are. Very refreshing. Very non-NT 
samantca wrote:
Ive kinda been obsessing over child custody and crap like that lately. Its not one of my nicer obsessions that ive gone through though 
I can relate to that. It seems I go from one mental obsession to another, and depending on how healthy of an issue it is, it will dominate my mood. So a current obsession is whether I'll get any money from my shoulder injury, and it hasn't been going well so my mood has been down. Then when that problem gets resolved, for better or worse, a new one seems to always crop up in its place. It's like I'm programmed to have obsessive thoughts and usually it's related to a problem.
In your case it would be appropriate to obsess over it as you're at a critical decision-making point. Very difficult.
ouinon wrote
Quote:
I'm ok, feeling energised from eating meat abundantly for first time in ages, and no starchy carbohydrates at all, hyped up a little by suspense over the academic inspection due in 8 days, happy for some reason about the disastrous weather we've been having here the last few weeks ( ice storms, torrential rainfall, electrical storms, etc).
8 days
Well at least it'll be over soon.
My gut feeling is you'll pass it.
About your parents: I hate my mother, always have, always will. Can relate to your feelings. I think my mom is HFA but she is in denial about my own AS which makes me hate her even more.
I too love severe weather. Bring on the hurricanes!
And thanks, Bazza, for putting it so well. I guess it's my karma - I didn't make my mother's life easy when I was a teen.
02 Jun 2008, 9:16 pm
03 Jun 2008, 4:57 pm
03 Jun 2008, 5:10 pm
***** playing with children *****
spent some fun time tonight with my son today playing with his new Nintendo figurines
I just wanted to share that!
03 Jun 2008, 7:05 pm
when my kids were younger, I used to like cooking with them - scones, cookies, cakes, etc - fun food 
(don't worry about the mess that it makes)
04 Jun 2008, 12:27 am
drybones wrote:
aylissa wrote:
It seems I go from one mental obsession to another, and depending on how healthy of an issue it is, it will dominate my mood. So a current obsession is whether I'll get any money from my shoulder injury, and it hasn't been going well so my mood has been down. Then when that problem gets resolved, for better or worse, a new one seems to always crop up in its place. It's like I'm programmed to have obsessive thoughts and usually it's related to a problem.
well said. i spend a lot of time feeling out of control with these sort of obsessions. they dominate my thinking for long periods and often distract me. trying to stay focused on multiples of these and its a recipe for disaster
Thank you both of you. Its hard for me as well, trying to do other things when i get like this. I know that everything will be better once i know whats gonna happen though. Ive researched like everything i can on the web about child custody etc, but i wont really get an answer before we go see a counselor or a judge i guess. This does indeed make me depressed, so i look forward to the day when its over and i can move on.
04 Jun 2008, 12:47 am
04 Jun 2008, 3:45 am
Quote:
I'm ok, feeling energised from eating meat abundantly for first time in ages, and no starchy carbohydrates at all, hyped up a little by suspense over the academic inspection due in 8 days, happy for some reason about the disastrous weather we've been having here the last few weeks ( ice storms, torrential rainfall, electrical storms, etc).
Quote:
8 days
Well at least it'll be over soon.
My gut feeling is you'll pass it.
Well at least it'll be over soon.
My gut feeling is you'll pass it.
I always image things to be much worse that they ever turn out to be. I hope your inspection is a mere formality and is no problem.
btw, Aylissa - we get Iron Chef here too. I always am interested to see what the ingredient is
04 Jun 2008, 5:04 am
sartresue
Veteran
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
04 Jun 2008, 9:48 am
PaRANTs support group topic
I could never use the Parents forum because I have NT kids. I did not want to ask any of the NT parents what to do. Maybe they would have wanted to switch kids! 
Lazy husband is pushing my buttons again. 
Youngest daughter wants 40 dollar hairdo for graduation. 
Son hates homework and only does what he wants.
Rant is an NT word, but I am having a NTirade anyway. 
04 Jun 2008, 2:20 pm
ManErg wrote:
Yay! Keep this thread going! I still believe this should be a separate forum. I noticed there's a "Married Aspies Cafe" or some such thread elsewhere, but last post was in March. This thread is proof that Aspies in (or still suffering from) long term relationships with or without children, really do have things to say. Things that are interesting and often very intense. Just not sure where's appropriate to say it.
Anyway, I just got a phone call to say that the house I'm renting for myself is available for me to move in next Monday. Been organising it for a few weeks now, but it's still a shock at each stage of the separation. After 16 years together and 2 children, always assuming we'd be together for ever.
I'm thankful that a big part of me is looking forward to getting away. Our relationship has deteriorated for several years now. Looking back, when I got the AS diagnosis I thought it would help US, it certainly helped ME, but now I believe she lost hope that day. For then she realized that she could never 'normalize' me. Even worse, there was now a medically approved reason for my behaviour that irritated her so much. Until then, I had always accepted the blame for our problems.
Asperger's explained my experience, but in a completely different way to our previous explanation. Which was that I was just not making enough effort to get on with people. That I was lazy, selfish, inadequate and all the other traits that NT's describe in their partners on the truly awful "I Married An Aspie" forums.
Anyway, I just got a phone call to say that the house I'm renting for myself is available for me to move in next Monday. Been organising it for a few weeks now, but it's still a shock at each stage of the separation. After 16 years together and 2 children, always assuming we'd be together for ever.
I'm thankful that a big part of me is looking forward to getting away. Our relationship has deteriorated for several years now. Looking back, when I got the AS diagnosis I thought it would help US, it certainly helped ME, but now I believe she lost hope that day. For then she realized that she could never 'normalize' me. Even worse, there was now a medically approved reason for my behaviour that irritated her so much. Until then, I had always accepted the blame for our problems.
Asperger's explained my experience, but in a completely different way to our previous explanation. Which was that I was just not making enough effort to get on with people. That I was lazy, selfish, inadequate and all the other traits that NT's describe in their partners on the truly awful "I Married An Aspie" forums.
I wish i was in your situation. My bf is exactly the same way as your wife, he used to be annoyed about my quirks and after AS became a subject hes completely insane about them. Keeps telling me im not normal and blablabla. We have only been together for 2 years, and im already out of the apartment. He kicked me out and so ive been living with my mom for a week or two. Its ok, but i really need my own space.
We got a meeting with a family counselor soon, and im just gonna tell her that from my p.o.w there is nothing left to salvage between the two of us anymore. My focus is my daughter and what happens to her. I dont really care about our relationship as such. I cant wait to get this over with so that i can somehow move on, although i know ill be facing some challenges. Like moving again. Never liked that. But im still kind of excited about it. I wont have anyone around telling me i have to do things like this or that, and no one will tell me i cant do this or that.
Good luck with moving, im sure it will be wonderful
04 Jun 2008, 2:30 pm
Just a quick note to say that I have posted a poll in the Parents Forum which I would love to have your votes in, and as some of you have said you never go in there I thought I'd better let you know. Thanks. Hope you'll vote.
It's about whether your AS child(ren) prefer structure or not, and whether this might have something to do with whether the principal caregiver is NT or AS.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt67976.html
Last edited by ouinon on 04 Jun 2008, 2:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
04 Jun 2008, 2:37 pm
samantca wrote:
I cant wait to get this over with so that i can somehow move on, although i know ill be facing some challenges. Like moving again. But im still kind of excited about it. I wont have anyone around telling me i have to do things like this or that, and no one will tell me i cant do this or that.
I think this might happen for me in the next 12 months or so. I'm getting the impression. Things are moving. And yes, for the same reasons, excited, thinking of being independent of the constant company, despite/because of how desperate he is that I stay so he puts up with everything. ( which is not good for me)
The academic/school pressure ( on my son to go to school in this country) is like the way out, as academic pressure on me approaching the important exams at 16 years old at school 29 years ago was first stage of big wave floating me out of my parent's house.
04 Jun 2008, 3:46 pm
ouinon wrote:
samantca wrote:
I cant wait to get this over with so that i can somehow move on, although i know ill be facing some challenges. Like moving again. But im still kind of excited about it. I wont have anyone around telling me i have to do things like this or that, and no one will tell me i cant do this or that.
I think this might happen for me in the next 12 months or so. I'm getting the impression. Things are moving. And yes, for the same reasons, excited, thinking of being independent of the constant company, despite/because of how desperate he is that I stay so he puts up with everything. ( which is not good for me)
The academic/school pressure ( on my son to go to school in this country) is like the way out, as academic pressure on me approaching the important exams at 16 years old at school 29 years ago was first stage of big wave floating me out of my parent's house.
I hope everything works out for you! Lets just try and hang on till everything is sorted
Ive recently figured out that no matter what... I cant stay with something that drains me even more than my issues. And my bf does that to me. Since living with my mom, i sleep better, i feel lighter... I appreciate everything more. Its like i got a rush of energy
Ill cheer for you ouinon, good luck
04 Jun 2008, 4:17 pm
ManErg wrote:
I'm thankful that a big part of me is looking forward to getting away. Our relationship has deteriorated for several years now. Looking back, when I got the AS diagnosis I thought it would help US, it certainly helped ME, but now I believe she lost hope that day. For then she realized that she could never 'normalize' me. Even worse, there was now a medically approved reason for my behaviour that irritated her so much. Until then, I had always accepted the blame for our problems.
Good luck with the move! will you still have regular contact with your kids?
thats very frustrating that your wife accepted the diagnosis like that
over here we are discussing getting a diagnosis done and my wife is being supportive but i feel its early days anyway. after 18 years acting in a certain way im hoping ive not done too much damage. i've got some books in recommended earlier and so far she hasnt got bored of me talking about AS so far.
ManErg wrote:
Asperger's explained my experience, but in a completely different way to our previous explanation. Which was that I was just not making enough effort to get on with people. That I was lazy, selfish, inadequate and all the other traits that NT's describe in their partners on the truly awful "I Married An Aspie" forums.
"I Married An Aspie"
i can just see picture that now as as the intro for one of those daytime TV lifestyle shows on TV, urrrgh
04 Jun 2008, 4:24 pm
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