Kids say the darndest things

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My son, from our recent vacation/family reunion:

to his cousin: "why do you keep calling that woman mom?"

to us: "Please turn off your electric devices so I can sleep."

When it rains, he likes to have what he calls a "family fun club." He said he was hoping it would rain while we were at the family reunion, so we could have an extended family fun club.

My son communicates with us with lines from movies he watches. For example, when he doesn't want to use the bathroom he will throw his bottom onto the toilet and say, 'I'm in sad shape' (Charlie Brown, as he sits down at Lucy's psyciatric stand). If he is being scolded for something he'll say, 'Hey! Whats going on here, are you crazy?'...another Charlie Brown movie. Examples are many. Anyone elses kiddo communicate through script?

I do not have kids, but I have a small notebook my parents kept:

"Mom, stunk!"
-4 years old (when I saw a skunk outside)

"You have the prettiest nose I have ever seen."
-5 years old (when looking at some guy with a huge, huge nose)

Me: Where is Gigi? (my great grandmother)
Dad: She is at heaven.
Me: When are we going to visit her there?

Hahhaha,

I like techn0teen' question, so innocent and funny.

When I was in Kindergarten back in 1994, I had just really started getting into my little world that still exists today. I had created the admiral, his wife, and the general. anyways, I drew a house and showed it to my mom. I told her what each room was for. When I got to this one particular room, I proudly said "Mom, this is where the admiral and his wife make their 'happy noises' and where they 'wrestle' in bed." Her face went beet red and she started laughing.

Another time is when the move "A little Princess" had just come out. One of my grandma's friends had come over to her house for coffee. I had walked into the room and said "Grandma, why is Miss Minchin here? She's mean!" They laughed histerically. Her friend did indeed look like the movies antagonist.

DS, 4, stays with a friend of ours one day a week while I am at work. She also has a 4 yo son. Her little guy noticed that his shoes were size 11 and was excited to tell his mom about his new found knowledge.
So, my friend asks my son:

"What size are your shoes?"
DS answers "The same size as my feet!" as if she should have known better than to have asked!

I just about rolled on the floor when she told me this story!

"My grandpop left my grandmom for a pool room skank!"

This weekend my daughter informed me that she could not breathe in her room until I got her a plant to "make her some clean oxygen". (she has a cold)

When my son was a toddler, I put him to bed with a comment about his day. One time, after a particularly good day, I told that he was a good boy. He responded with "you're a good boy, too, Daddy".

DS: You know, bulls don't really react to red.
Me: Really?
DS: Yes - 'bull in a china shop' isn't really right. I mean, all that red stuff wouldn't make them mad. It's movement that makes them mad - that's why they charge the matadors, they wave the red thing around.
Me: Hmmm
DS: A real bull would just walk right past all those firecrackers and stuff.
Me: Firecrackers?
DS: You know, all the red stuff in a China shop. Like the firecrackers and the envelopes. Bulls respond to movement, not to the color red...but maybe the firecrackers and lanterns dangling from the ceiling move when the bull walks by and that's what makes him go crazy.
Me: Oh, a Chinese shop!

most of the funniest word mistakes my son has made were either in french or dutch, he speaks very little english...too bad cause they were good haha! but i remember when he was round 3, he kept asking people if they had a mother. people replied yes darling!, so he went: oh, so you came out of her vagina you now. and then proceeded to explain everything from the eggs to the delivery, then asked, so, do you have a twin brother? that's when i gathered the courage to pull him away , cause i could feel the "how identical and non identical twins come from"lesson coming. as we ran away he would turn and scream: you should say thank you to your mummy for her vagina!! god i'm happy this phase is over................

oh, i have one that cracked me up, from my daughter. she's 16 months old and doesn't speak at all yet, except her brother's name, but when she sees an animal she goes "woof woof", even if it's a butterfly. the other day i went to the toilets and left the door open so i could check on her, and she came to see me. as i pulled up my pants she said "ooooooooh "( like: "cuuuuute") and tried to undo my button again, looking down my pants. i said: what did you see in there? she said "oooooh, woof woof!! !!"
she basically said i had an animal in my pants. i guess i need to shave....

I took my 7 year old daughter to a soccer game played by a bunch of six year olds (her cousin was one of the players). After a few minutes of watching them run back and forth on the field I turned to her and asked if she liked it and she said "It's not even remotely entertaining".

It was very funny at the time.

Kenzie is nearly 4 and the gems that come out of her are pretty hilarious.
"I like polka dots, they're not vegetables."
"I dont like lasagna, bumpy cheese hurts my feelings"
"When I grow up, I'm going to be an orange baby lion tiger"

love it!