Need your opinon please

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did you check the DSM criteria? does this sound like your son?
http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-aspergers.html

Cause I find that, beyond this criteria, people are all over the board. Having AS doesn't mean a person is anti-social and can't enjoy other people's fun, I mean it's different for everyone. My stepson was Dx with NVLD and pretty much fits it except for a speech delay in childhood. But he has other traits that don't fit it at all. You mentioned that your son can lie, well so can my stepson, we have a real problem with that and have to now confront him as a group because if it's just his dad he'll deny any wrong doing. Also, you said he scored a 127 IQ but he wasn't trying - well 127 is in the top 3%! That's not shabby! So if he normally does better, well sounds like a very smart kid.

The whole neurologist requirement seems strange. I mean it is not a medical Dx at all. A pediatric neurologist deals with children with injuries to the brain or spinal cord so far as I know. And I didn't know they ever did diagnostic psychological evaluations. Following a car accident I was in at 15, I saw a neurologist because I had a brain injury but they also sent me for all the psych evaluations to a psychologist to administer, but they never found anything else besides the brain injury.

My stepson saw a psychologist for something called a psychoeducational evaluation which is where they found the NVLD but it never addressed the social problems he has which is why I think he should have a psychiatric evaluation or whatever they to assess for other things like HFA, but I am happy with the Dx he has because at least he finally got one. I suspected AS for a year before he was Dx with NVLD (which I didn't know existed).

Thank you Grace09!!

[The following is from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM IV]
(I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction

He has great eye contact and facial expressions. Body postures and gestures look normal to me.

(B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

He is very social with other children, but doesn't like rough play with other boys, unless it's his brother.

(C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)

Points everything out to me. Planes, flowers, cars, bugs, anything he finds exciting.

(D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

Here I have a question. He is very sensitive to others, but sometimes doesn't know how to react or what to say.

(II) Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

(A) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus

Nothing

(B) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals

Sometime he doesn't want change, but can be easily talked in to it. Likes to argue. One evening we decided to take to kids out to dinner. We wanted a vote on were to go for dinner. He will wait until everyone answers and say something completely different. He used to do this all time, but it's not happening much any more.

(C) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)

He likes to squirm in his seat.


(D) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

No


(III) The disturbance causes clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

(IV) There is no clinically significant general delay in language (E.G. single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)

(V) There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self help skills, adaptive behavior (other than in social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood.

(VI) Criteria are not met for another specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia."


The school says differently. I wish I could sit in his class for a week.

I don't see it then. I mean my stepson gets obsessed with 'parts of things', that oddity stands out like a sore thumb. When he watches TV or movies, he'll notice all the 'things' but nothing NOTHING about the human interaction. He can't read faces. I mean his differences are NOT subtle at all. He collects cords and cables. In the car he hyper-focuses on the GPS to the point where I wish I didn't have one. He's too big to sit in the middle of the back seat but insists because then he can lean forward and stare at the GPS. He engages in intense staring which I have gotten used to but freaked me out in the beginning. He is the 'rules' police and has a real hard time understanding the dynamics of play. He doesn't get idioms and metaphors. If I say 'that makes my skin crawl' he will respond 'silly your skin can't crawl'. He takes things completely literal. He gets stuck, so stuck on things, he can't let do. He'll remember all the things he DOESN'T need to remember and forget all the things he needs to. I don't know, maybe I have an extreme case, I'm just learning too. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it until I came to this board maybe 3 weeks ago and I've known him for almost 2 years.

I won't go on, it would take too long, but that said, I think most people here are higher functioning and I just only know one person with NVLD. He doesn't qualify for AS because he had a speech delay but honestly I haven't read about anyone on this site that sounds like him.

He has good eye contact, too good, it is more of a stare and he really wants friends but I never realized how much nonverbal behavior is involved in friendships! and life in general. Never thought about it because for most people is comes naturally, I mean you just pick up on other people's nonverbal behavior. He gravitates towards young children he can control and adults but avoids his peer group. Those kinds of things stand out. It's not a question of 'is he or isn't he?', you know he has something but you just don't know what it is, that is how I felt. The first conversation I ever had with him I'll never forget, I said to my husband (then BF) "the conversation doesn't go 2 ways!" It was strange. Like he just gives me tons of information in a one-sided conversation.

As far as your kid being sensitive, I was told by a neuropsychologist, I saw one after a car accident for cognitive retraining and he told my mother that children with high IQs tend to be more sensitive than others. He told her that I scored higher than he did on my IQ test but I was very sensitive and depressed after the accident - he said kids with high IQs are more aware of things and this makes them more sensitive - going from being a regular kid to a kid with all these learning problems was really really hard but that is an aside. My 8 yr old son is NT, his teacher has said he's the top math student and one of the best readers, he is also very sensitive. They said he could skip a grade but I decided not to because we moved from Sweden and I felt his English needed to improve.

I sure wouldn't be too worried about having a smart kid who jumped a grade! I checked the criteria for AS against my husband, he skipped 2 grades, was co-valedictorian of his HS class, went to MIT etc he has all his CDs alphabetized and he's very clean and neat but he doesn't fit the Dx, I mean you can still be gifted and be NT. There are just a lot of gifted kids/people who are AS.

My 8 yr old NT son, he did go through a period of acting out when I was going through a divorce. He refers to his dad as 'monster daddy', he absolutely hates his dad because his dad tried to keep him and his sister in Sweden (me and my children are American) and it involved a long legal fight to get them back to the USA. Well, he was flipping off teachers, saying f*ck you b*tch to his teacher, getting into fights. Got him back to the US and he is fine now. Just because a kid is going through a period of acting act doesn't necessarily mean anything, he could just be going through something.

WOW!! Grace you have been through so much. You are a very strong person to be able to overcome the obstacles you have had in your life. I wish you the very best with your children and step son. My hat is off to you.

Last week was his turn to do dishes. He wasn't happy about doing them one night and looked over at me a said. "This is so much fun" I told him no problem he can do dishes every night. ( I was being sarcastic) He said " Mom, my sarcasm is on"

The school tells me, that because of all the stimulation at school he acts differently than he does at home. I can see their point of view. If a child becomes overly stimulated, it can effect that child's behavior. Is it possible for a child not to show Aspergers characteristics at home, but to show them at school when over stimulated??

My best friend's nephew has Aspergers and we get the kids together to play once in a while. When their playing, I can really see the difference between my children and my friend's nephew. I don't know where he is on the spectrum, but I can see the difference. This is one of reasons I have such a hard time grasping this possibility.

I just don't know. I wish I had all the answers, but I don't. The only way to be sure is to have him tested.

Intensity can definitely be part of AS. But throwing a fit that he knows he is throwing with the hopes of getting out of something sounds more like my NT daughter, who may have other issues but AS isn't one of them (she has been observent enough to know how to mimic AS when she thinks it will get her something she wants, however ... and she has admitted to doing it with a sly look in her eyes ... really funny, actually ... sorry for the tangent).

My son, on the other hand, really is not in control of himself when he acts out, and knowing negative consequences doesn't make it any easier for him to get that control. When he talks about those incidents he is usually still upset, taking on his baby voice (which comforts him) and stuff like that.

I am wondering if your son may be more like I see myself - mostly NT but with quite a few AS traits. Given that they believe a few dozen genes are involved, it is possible to have parts of AS without having the full deal. In a way, that complicates things, because you have to decide for each piece if it applies or not, but it could be the most accurate. Unfortunately, a partial won't get you anything through the school (services or accommodations), so if its a close call and you think you could use services or accommodations, ask for the diagnosis.

Although ... I think a sensory integration disorder diagnosis can get accommodations. If the school thinks overstimulation is an issue, this might be the one that fits. It tends to go hand in hand with AS, but it doesn't have to.

Well, good luck finding the right experts and getting it all sorted out. It sounds like you do really well with him at home, and that is great.

My stepson was Dx with 3 different Dx 3 different times. PDD-nos when he was 4, a doctor also observed him at that time and said to his dad "he has autism". Then he was Dx with CAPD by someone who worked with the LD school he went to and NVLD at age 12, earlier this year. His parents have never sought a DX, they only take him when for some reason they have had to. He wasn't talking at age 4 which is where the first Dx came from, the 2nd was because an educational specialist visited the school or something and the final one this year was required for school placement. If his parents were to actually aggressively pursue this to get him exactly the help he needs, I think they would get a more accurate Dx, in many ways he seems to struggle much more than most people with NVLD.

As far as sensory issues, my stepson is not AS, he is usually the loudness person in the classroom, so I don't think noises bother him. They bother me! So I don't know too much about AS and sensory issues. I would say have him evaluated, I was noise sensitive after a car accident for awhile, I absolutely couldn't study with noise going on, I used to play white noise from the radio when I was home and got used to wearing ear plugs. I recovered pretty much and noise doesn't bother me much anymore, but I remember how much it did. I never wanted to act out in school, my daughter has never acted out, I think boys are just different.