NT mom of 4 wants to ask ASD parent or teen for an opinion

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When I was a teen, all I wanted was to be left alone. Well, except for the hot girls. I wanted them to ask me on dates because I was too shy to ask them. As it turns out, though, I was much better off waiting until I was a decade more mature to start worrying about romance.

as many have already said; most of the time we just want to be accepted for who we are and left alone if we need it.
dont ridicule us for the mistakes we make, but just ignore them, or join us in laughing it off (if we do ourselves); know we are also human beings and mostly capable of the same things you are, we take a different route to the same solution...

I agree with what the others have said. I wanted to be treated well or else left alone.

I would add, please don't try to get your kid "pity friends". He/she will know, and it will make him/her want to vomit.

Think of people with ASD as cacti, and socialization water. We can't live without any water, but too much is just as bad. A little goes a long way.

For me, I just want to have good friends who accept and understand me for who I am and I actually enjoy my company and want to be my friend. I dont want pity friends or friends who feel like they have to take care of me.

Understanding and acceptance, although you're unlikely to get it in school. I like people to treat me as a human being; I have feelings, I can be hurt and I am not less intelligent than anybody around me. I'd like it if people weren't embarassed to be seen talking to me.

Pretty much, I'd just like people to accept me for me.

If your teen has AS, and is integrated in a regular classroom, they are at a bit of a disadvantage insofar as;
They might have trouble communicating WHY they are different
They may not want anyone to know how they are different
Other kids may not innately understand that they are different.

It would be helpful for you to discuss with your teen how to tell others what is causes their uniqueness, what struggles they have with social life, what they have gone through in the past with trying to learn how to behave like others, and how these friends can be supportive.

I find that most kids, when talked to by an adult in a private situation, are perfectly able to comprehend why their friend is unique and what supports they could offer. Many are willing to help any way they can.

It's all about communication, give the other teens a chance to understand what is going on and to accept it, then give them the tools to help - you'll be surprised at how many will be happy to help and will support their friend without judgement.

I am not a parent or a teen....but I do have autism...and I was once a teen. Grade 10 for me was awesome. Why? Because that the one and only year that I had friends who accepted me for who I was. Every other year as a teenager was very difficult because people pointed out my differences to me. What did I want from the NTs? I wanted to accepted for who I was. I could not change, and that should not have been a requirement for their approval. I hated always being left, always being the last one chosen in gym, and always being the one no one wanted to do mandatory group work with. I hated having to sit in the hallways at lunch because no one wanted me at their table. NTs might be "neurotypical", but not all are as socially aware as they may think for if they were, they would not ostracize people for just being a little bit different. I never did that.

^^ I was always "popular" (if you can call it that) when it was time for group work. Everyone knew all they had to do was sit there and try to write as fast as I told them the answers. I didn't mind, as pretending NOT to already know the answer would've meant sitting there listening to them say stupid things as they came up with the wrong answer.
"Where's the eef-el tower?"
"I think that's in Spain."
"No, it's in Las Vegas. I saw it."
"Okay, let's all put that."

When I was a teenager I mostly wanted to be treated as a human and to have the opportunity to be left alone ( I still can't handle "needy" people).

I think respect and a couple close friendships.

I am a teen currently and want people to be comfortable with knowing I'm autistic, first of all. Or else I feel like they don't really know me, and we aren't really friends.

To understand that I'm not going to be texting them 50 times a day, posting on their wall on Facebook 20 more times, and otherwise chatting with them all the time. I take people in spurts, even those that I am fond of. If they truly care about me, they'll check up on me every so often and we'll make plans or talk for a bit.

I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sex. I have anxiety about driving, and they will wear seatbelts and we won't go over the speed limit if I'm driving. I am not "boring" and I refuse to be made fun of ridiculed for these things. They threaten my feelings of safety if they try to force these things on me. Expect a swift cutting off of our friendship and a deep scar in our relationship. On the other hand, if they respect these things, I will be loyal to them forever. They can count on me no matter what.

Above all, I want girls to get rid of that God-awful "silent treatment." You know, where you do something and they decide to just stop talking to you, stop acknowledging your existence, don't tell you what you did wrong, won't let you fix it...? I am made worse than the enemy. I am an un-person, not worthy of notice. It makes me cry just remembering it. NT people, I have empathy, and I have feelings, and I can't describe the pain that results from the "silent treatment."

The same as what most people want. To be treated good.

It's not fair that because we have a label that suddenly people act as though they just don't know how to treat you. They pretend as though because you are different that you are no longer human. Then you have to sit there and take it until you can take no more. If you dare stand up for yourself you are treated like the bully.

If the same thing were happening to a "normal" child, would it be handled differently?

It's prejudism and people constantly treating you as if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.