Question for the parents

Post Reply New Topic

Jsmom - No, there's no "specific" reason per se, or perhaps there's all the reason in the world, depending on one's perspective and values. I'm working half on gut instinct here, trying to figure out what would be an optimal situation. Seems that part of the problem between me and them - as with me and you here, strangers on the internet - is that there is no common language. We both lack the prerequisite knowledge to understand each other's lines of reasoning, so words can happen but no communication takes place.

Friends who know me have without hesitation told me that the only way I'm going to resolve this conflict for myself is to be totally honest with them. However I am finding that I don't have an understanding of how to communicate to them the message that is in my head. So I find myself falling back on symbols like music or careful subtle manipulation of the environment (like leaving out books). But even this method of communication is fallible, because symbols that have intense meaning to me mean nothing to them.

And I am caught up in the expectations I have seen in society, that there is supposed to be "love" between family members, that families may fight but in the end they come together, that there is a cycle of emotional expression that happens between people in close proximity to each other when one does something that upsets another. There is no emotion in my family... Though that is probably not true, my guess would be that there is emotion but I don't see it. I suspect that there is so much emotion that I have blinded myself to it in self-defense. I've already learned through experience that I can't handle a romantic relationship because the emotions and expectations are too overloading. It would stand to reason that the same is true of a family relationship.

Forgive me rambling. I'm just thinking out loud, trying to make sense of this.

i am obtuse at times,and subtle messages have to be explained to me...as far as my parents go, they're too self-involved to notice much about anyone else but themselves.



in an optimal setting, this should be true....not the sort of climate i grew up in though...i had to finally let go of my expectations for my parents and try to understand that they just don't get it...that things that are very important to me have no meaning to them....

Hi

I wouldn't be nervous about telling them because you may need medication at some point in your life. Depression, Anxiety, OCD. I'm in my forties and it was having kids that over loaded me. Immediate family may need to know what meds you're on in an emergency. You may want to mention that you might need some help in the future.

You could say or write it in a letter for your Mom to keep in a safe place, this is in case of an emergency, you need to know and let Doctor's know that I have Asperger's syndrome and I would need the following help......

For me, I'm afraid my inability to understand spoken language would create a problem for me with Doctor's. I wear a medial alert bracelet, to avoid misunderstanding.


If you think your parents are sensible, then do the sensible thing.

Good Luck

Jetgirl

Finding the proper segway into a particular subject can be one of the hardest things I've found. And just blurting something out-- or at least when I decide to just try and blurt something out-- it somehow gets caught in my throat and I remain utterly silent.

Hey, maybe you could segway into the rough time WP has been having and since you're a moderator you've had to spend hours and hours on it. And even if they still don't bite and ask what kind of forum it is, maybe you could describe some of the problems and (you already have the comp on on WP homepage) walk over the computer and beckon them over to come see. Then once the convo's started, you go into WHY you're on there and nonchalantly say you've been dxed and are now part of a larger community, helping those like you.

As for segways, that's about as blunt as my imagination can make it.