DW_a_mom wrote:
Have you talked to the boy's parents about his coming over so often? Could they be SENDING him over because he seems bored, they need childcare, or ??? Do they have any idea what their child does when he comes over, ie show no interest in your child and just in his toys? Seems to me like there could be a missing piece somewhere in this. When you say it's time for the child to go home, it would seem that it is also time for the child's parents to WANT him home; it is rarely a one sided thing, in my experience. Once they know you don't feel it's a good idea for their son to keep coming over ("they aren't really friends" "he doesn't listen to me when I tell him it's a bad time to be here"). if they have any social manners at all, they will not allow their child to. Most parents want to know when things aren't going the way they would want them to with their child. If they don't, the problem may be more with the parents than the child, and getting your son on board about this child and the level of their friendship isn't going to be enough to solve the situation.
The parents... well everyone in that household is an alcoholic, and I'm pretty sure they send him to my house as a babysitter-or try to. I mean, he'll come over once, then a few hours later come knocking again. Which, is why I let him come over as long as I did-he was working my nerves before all of that stuff anyway. Kinda felt bad for the kid in a way, then realized, I REALLY don't want that around my house.
The father used to call and make sure everything was going okay and all, but the last time there was absolutely no communication... and even when he was in touch, it wasn't usually a "I need my son to come home type of thing", it was "keep him as long as you want". The kid literally had no schedule of any sort.
There were times before the incident and all, that the father would be sitting in my house, while I'm telling the kiddo it's time to get ready to go, and he would tell his son to get his stuff together, but didn't really make him do it. I mean, I'd be sitting there for an hour waiting for them to go home.
I seriously doubt they know what he's up to when he's out, or if he goes straight home after being told "no" here... he rides around on his bike at night and we have registered sex offenders on our street...
I'm actually rather surprised they allow him to go out alone after all of that happened, especially since they still believe him. *shrug*
I just know it's a really messed up house and I think I am a babysitter to them.... or was.
The kid's personality has changed a lot too, since all of this. He looks... angry... always angry. He's always ready to argue about something, has a defensive stance when talking to you. (My boyfriend noticed these things when he came over once)
...and I really don't want my son on board to solve this problem, but I just want him to understand WHY I don't think this kid is really good to be around in general. I tell the kid no regardless. I just want my son to be... more okay with it. Does that make sense?
If I had a kid and was in your situation and he had a friend like that with parents like the ones mentioned about the user kid, Id call Child Protective Services...what they are doing is or is bordering along the lines of child neglect, which is or almost is just cause for CPS to remove the child from the parents.The kid can't make false allegations against your kid or use him if he is away elsewhere in a foster home.
28 Feb 2010, 1:51 am
