Obsessive empathy for inanimate objects

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You just described my 7 yo son completely! In fact, I had no idea that other Aspie kids did this! Makes me feel much better. It's actually been a trait that I've loved about him.

That's what this site is really all about, IMHO.

I definitely agree with that!

Hey guys,

Okay, I still do that. I'll tell you why, everything has energy. I can feel it. So when I leave the house I say goodbye to it. Things that have been loved hold their energy and it gives me comfort to acknowledge it. I feel bad when I don't. Now the kicker is I'm 42 years old. I've been dx'd with Aspergers. I have trouble with empathy only because I believe real people will tell me how they feel, atleast I hope so because I can't decipher that, but a stuff animal or a tree well I feel and interpret for them.

I think it's a positive thing if your child is making nice comments to objects because essentially that's the way he sees it and the way he feels. You've done a great job if your child is happy and interprets the world as a loving place.

I don't talk out loud unless I'm alone. I know this is an AS thing and well I know I'm different but I like myself so....it's all good.

Later
Jetgirl

You have just described me ... well, sort of. A bit different, but having the same principles.

I've spoke about it elsewhere. Why this is? I can't tell you for the life of me. I have had intense, obsessive and overwhelming preoccupations with subject matter that goes beyond the normal interest things, such as wanting to discuss it and research it. Yeah, there's those things, but there's also this empathic feeling. The subject matter, which ranged from things like dogs and fish to ocean waves and rivers to even wood and fractions to even my own disorder, had constantly shifted when I was a child. I felt this emotional connection that would rise up and down in intensity. Nowadays, it doesn't change as much, and stays primarily with rivers, though there are at times minor changes to something else, but it seems to stay around the concept of rivers.

With me, the word associated with the subject matter has the ultimate emotional connection, and occasionally so do pictures. So, I tend to talk to these pictures and stuff, sometimes for a couple of hours, literally holding a true conversation, talking and answering myself back. It's part of why I talk to myself.

I, too, find myself wanting to protect anything surrounding the subject matter. As for rivers, I'm a member of a couple of environmental groups devoted to river protection and preservation. I am not so personal with other people with this, though, tending to keep it to myself, though I can get on lengthy discussions with people who are interested in the same things.

It shouldn't be a problem. With me, it was more organized. It sounds more disorganized with many others on this post. But, anyhow, the concept is the same. Some may grow out of it; others may not. Don't worry about it, unless it proves to become a real distraction, say if it interferes with his school work or something. Maybe it will actually get him involved in something that will keep his interest in the near future. Maybe he'll be interested in some sort of chef work or something. Who knows?

- Ray M -

I am 16 and lion keep me safe at night. i know that he is technically inanimate but he make me feel safe when there is nothing else that make me feel safe. If he falls out of bed i often apologise to him, and when i go out i say bye to him. i can often have long convosations with him about stuff that i am scare of or stuff i am worried about.

I also have sheepy who comes to school with me. To many NTs they find me carring sheepy, lil-lion (a little beanie) or my dumdum wierd or they don't get it. when infact thease items make me feel safe. I can talk to sheepy in my bad when i am confused and i can even stroke him under the desk in some lessons.

I hope this helps,

jammie

Inanimate objects can't misunderstand/react badly to our own little brand of empathy. That sums up what I think about this kind of thing.

You know what, that makes perfect sense! I copied it out and put it on the side of my fridge because the next time someone asks about why my son seems so attached to inanimate objects, that is what I will tell them.

Thank you for your insight.

No problem! I feel obligated to post in this forums (being only 19) as a sort of pennance. Putting into words for other parents what I couldn't to my own parents, if you will.

im not a parent but a hav e AS

when i was young i had lots of teddies but one of them - a rabbit- was very special to me. i used to take it every where with me to school till i was 14 i used to talk to it and take it to bed with me. i spent alot of time playing with all my teddies but that was special. one time when i was 10 i left the rabbit at my grandmas house by accident and she lives 2 hours drive away. my mother refused to go back to get it and i didnt understand why. i had to wait 2 months before i got the rabbit back again. i cried for days and i couldent sleep very well till i got it back.

when i was 14 my emotional attachment moved on to a different inanimate object.
when i was 13 i started playing the drums. and just after i was 14 i got my own drum kit. which i soon became obsessed with. and i started to talk to it, and then i started kissing it, or one drum, cuddling it and taking the drum to bed and cuddling and kissing it in bed. also putting the drum on places of my body because it feels good.
i still do this and i am 21 now
im not sure how it started.... i think just one day i looked at my drum kit and fell in love with it - like one might fall in love with another human.
my parents know that i kiss my drums and take them to bed but they dont know the bit about me puttin them on my body but i dont relly want to say anythign to them about that because they already think im messed up for taking my drums to bed.

i was only officially diagnosed as an Aspie last week so all my life have been brought up like an NT... his is good in some ways but bad in others. my parents dont undertsand me at all i dont think. especially when it comes to my drums.

I feel obligated to post here under some conditions as well. I think it would be very helpful for parents to hear how we have coped with things as well, and it may make things easier for them to understand their own children. Not a bad idea, I would think.

- Ray M -

This thread reminds me of my childhood stuffed dog. I made up a detailed life story for it, from the day it was born until the day I got it. (The dog ran away from its previous owners who mistreated it, then somehow found its way into my apartment building.) My parents didn't understand my exclusive attachment to it, but tolerated it. They did, however, use my attachment to it as a way of making me obey them. One time, they even threatened: "If you don't stop throwing tantrums, we'll take that dog away from you, and give it away to charity! Do you still want to throw a tantrum?" That was the same as pointing a gun at it, so of course I complied, but only as a lesson not to show emotions around my parents. (To this day, I cringe when donating non-food items; canned goods are no problem.)

So I threw that dog in the back of a closet for 2 days and covered it with a thick jacket; it was a way of keeping it "safe" and tricking my parents into thinking that I don't care about it. When I took it out, I spent 20 minutes apoligizing to it and expaining why I had to be so "rough." Ever since then, I put up an "it's just a stupid dog" attitude around my parents, while treating it super-nicely in private, and average-nicely around my friends. (For instance, petting it and talking to it when alone, and simply telling my friends not to pull on its tail.)

At the age of 10, I had to make a big house move, and since there was very little room to pack, I ended up giving the dog to my best friend at the time. Fortunately, my attachment by then was based more on my history with it, rather than the toy itself, so I took it pretty well.

okay, that's just not cool how your parents used the attachment you had with your dog, against you. That makes me mad. My son (he's 7) has a strong attachment to 2 stuffed animals and I love them nearly as much as he does and I would never even dream of using them against him. That's sad.

Yes, I frequently have and do assign living emotion and feelings to inanimate objects. I am very fond of many inanimate things and feel sorry for those people who can't connect to objects quite like we autties. Going shopping for "things" is far more emotionally rewarding than for most. It's like buying friends.

Yes thats about how I feel about things and like to go on "rescue" trips to estate sales and flea markets to buy stuff to fix I know they feel better after a good cleaning and ajustment a lot of my favorite things have been gotten this way

parts, that is how I found most of my door closers and other hardware. from all the years of garage and yard sale-ing. after that it was people just giving me the old or used hardware. my face just lights up with joy when someone does that. you won't believe this, the most I ever spent on door hardware, 1.75 (yes a doller 75 cents US) and that was for 2 storm door ones! since I dont have many friends they are I guess a substitute for the lack of human friends in real life. I don't go out in public with them because I don't need somoene stealing the closers or making fun of me. the only people that know about me and my closers was the teachers I had for last 2 months of school in 2002, my parents, and whoever I feel comfortable telling. I feel soo attached to them they are always in my bedroom either in bed or under it. I hate it when they fall because I don't need any hydraulic oil leaks. I cannot stand the smell of that type of oil. the scent of it makes me loose appitite and I almost fainted once when in midde school because of an odor of a closer leaking oil. I check them about 2 times a day to make sure im not getting any odors or oil leaking from them.