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Raven
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20 Mar 2010, 5:46 am

My son didnt say it for a while either. Now he will only say it now and then.....but thats okay.

What I have noticed is though, when he says it sometimes he scrunches up his little face, as if uncomfortable. Sometimes he will do this if a hug or kiss lingers too long also.

I think (never know anything for sure!! !), for my son is that the emotional feelings that come with it, are a bit overwhelming for him. So I believe he truly understands 'I love you' (as it can be uncomfortable for him), so he does not say it that often.

Although I am only a NT parent guessing on this one :?



beauteincongrue
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23 Mar 2010, 11:18 am

My son was the same way...and I never thought much of it. Until he actually started SAYING it. He'll be 10 in June, and he shocked me last September when he walked up to me in our kitchen and said "I love you mom!" Now he says it all the time. (He didn't start hugging me until he was almost 9 - yet another moment that shocked me)

Your son may be able to tell you as well one day :) It just might take a bit.



Mattsmum
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23 Mar 2010, 2:24 pm

I tell my son I love him frequently and he often replies in an exasperated voice "I already KNOW THAT" :lol: :lol: :lol:



Avarice
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24 Mar 2010, 3:12 am

I never say it either, but it doesn't mean that I don't think it. It isn't easy. So don't think that he doesn't.



astaut
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26 Mar 2010, 4:06 pm

I can't speak for your son, but I'll tell you my experience and maybe it will be some consolation. For a long time I never really said "I love you" to family members, and now I just say it when someone says it first. I guess I would describe it as uncomfortable. The way I think of it is, they already know I love them, why are we saying it over and over? Lol that probably sounds weird that's just how I view it. I used to not hug my mom back (still don't all the time) and she eventually started telling me to hug her back so I did. I don't remember if she had to tell me to say I love you back or not, but maybe teaching your son to reciprocate things like a hug will establish that he should say I love you in return. If not, and he may not understand since he is young, you may have to do as one of the other posters said and teach him to say it back to you. My little brother is 9 and never says "I love you too", but he is not AS.



motherofson
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26 Mar 2010, 6:58 pm

My son is 17 now and still doesn't say the words "I love you" but I know he does. Knowing he is AS helps to know why he doesn't say the words. Also, once you figure out his Love Language, it makes even more sense. My son's love language is quality time. When we spend time together doing things he enjoys, he knows I love him. That is the way he is wired. When he was younger, and I would spend any time away from him, even if it was shopping, he would feel loved if I brought him home something just for him, even if it was something very small, something he liked. He would know that I thought of him while I was gone, and that told him that I loved him.

When he was about 5 years old, I think, he told me to stop telling him I loved him because he already knew I did and I didn't need to keep telling him. I told him, "sorry, it is a Mom thing and I have to tell you at least once a day. Would that be okay?" He said okay, sort of grudgingly, since in his mind, he had already explained to me that he knew it and didn't need to hear it.

The book: "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, was very helpful in teaching me about different ways people express love and feel love. I'm not the hugging type either but if you do something for me, I feel so loved. Maybe that is why I could understand my son better than most can.



BrookeBC
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28 Mar 2010, 2:21 pm

We read to our 3 year old daughter a book called "Who do you love?" by Margaret Wang. It's a touch and feel book which always likes and it has teddy bears which she also loves. It teaches her the people in the family she is supposed to love. She will say it now spontaneously when I am doing something she really enjoys. When she says it I think she means "I'm happy, please keep on doing what you are doing." :D