the summertime blues

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I know what you mean. I have signed my son up for a few activities, but I am afraid if I don't work on school stuff with him, he will regress. He only gets therapy from the school system, so he gets no therapy during the summer. His speech is really improving, so I am not that concerned about that. For physical stuff, I just bring him to the playground and the kids gym and try to work on that stuff. He is getting so much stronger, but just does not want to run and play rough with the other kids, so I really have to coach him along at these places. It is definitely work for me!

He really needs help with his social skills, but he really does not have any friends, so that is a tough one. I just try to take him places where kids will be and try to encourage him. Sometimes it is ok, but when there are kids running and screaming too much, he gets intimidated.

I really struggle with wondering if I am being too overprotective of him and just trying to make sure he is not under too much stress. I want to let go, but for example yesterday, we went to this kids gym with the inflatables and jumpies. He usually does not have a problem with the noise and everything there. But yesterday there were too many kids there and at one point he was trying to climb on one of the slides, and about 5 tough little boys came up right behind him, and he just froze. He started crying, and I ended up climbing up there with him to get him down. I feel so helpless at times. He is strong enough to do these things, but he likes to go at his own speed. I love my little boy just the way he is, but I just worry that he needs to toughen up a little bit, and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be overprotective, but I also don't want him to be terrified either!! !

Next time, I guess I will call ahead to see if there are a lot of kids there before we go.

Angelbear, have you looked into any gentle social skills classes for ASD kids in your area? I was very skeptical about the concept at first, and have heard that some groups are run in what I consider to be a much too aggresive manner, but we found one run by our local Autism Society that has really made VERY NOTICABLE improvements for our son in just a few months of a once-a-week one-hour class. It's facilitated by an OT - which also made me skeptical because in theory I'm not sure that's the best qualification for an ASD social skills class - but she is AWESOME with the kids. My son has really learned some important coping skills for socialization, in a gentle and non-judgemental atmosphere. It has really made a difference in his enjoyment of other social interactions, like ones in playgrounds that you describe.

Hey all-
I just wanted to share that my son has been going to Vacation Bible School this week, and he is really enjoying it! He is even talking a little bit to the kids---he is spontaneously saying hello and goodbye to a few kids that he knows. He is having a little trouble participating in some of the team games, but overall is having a good time.

My son will start computer animation "camp" in an hour. I am so nervous! It will be the first time since he was in preschool that he's been in a group of kids without us or an aide. The camp director claims to have experience with Aspie kids, at least.

I made him a list of expectations and we will scout out a place for him to take a break if he needs one. I'm glad thay he seems excited rather than anxious.

Can't wait to hear how it went, Willaful. Are you both having a good summer, overall?

Oh, I could just cry. My husband remembered the time wrong, and I didn't double-check. So instead of arriving early, with time to get him used to the place and talk to the teachers, we got there with all the kids already introduced and working on projects. Just exactly what we didn't need.

But the teacher we talked to seemed very comfortable with the situation, told us there were two other autistic kids in the class, and suggested a Legos idea that my son took to immediately. (He feels very anxious when asked to come up with ideas; I was the same way.) So I hope the bad beginning won't be too harmful.

DW - it's been an okay summer, though I've been disappointed that he hasn't wanted to get out and scooter and ride his bike by himself like he used to. I've been wondering if maybe something happened to upset him because it's such a dramatic change.

I hope it goes well, Willaful. I wonder if your son doesn't want to get outside because of the hotter weather? My son really does not like it when it is very hot. About the only thing we can do is go swimming outside when it is hot.
Anyway, good luck with the class, I hope he really enjoys it!

I found my kids really need down time in the summer. It's the like the first chance they have to totally slough off, they take it and hang onto it. I'm not convinced that is a bad thing, for that is pretty much how we were as kids. What worries me is when it all becomes screen time, and no creative time, as screen time can get a big black hole one loses control of. Down time is good, but you have to mindful of the potential for it to become quicksand. If it becomes quicksand, drastic intervention may be needed

Sorry to hear about the time misunderstanding. Hopefully the class is going well now that it's 2 days in.

Yes, could be heat and/or need for downtime. We need to get out to the pool more, he loves it.

The class seems to be going okay. He's working on his own, which I find disappointing, because I know he's lonely and would really benefit from connecting with kids who share his interests. One step at a time, I guess.

Maybe once he gets acclimated (sp?) to the environment, he will branch out? Hang in there!

Well, it's been 4 days and I'm cautiously optimistic. He doesn't seem to be madly in love with the class, but his overall mood has been excellent. Possibly just having that structure to his day is helpful for him.