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Complaints that my daughter is acting "different"

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pennywisezzz
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17 Jul 2010, 6:05 pm

Beenthere wrote:
...I'm assuming also that she is an only child. If so, this makes it even more difficult, she's not used to the noise, and chaos that comes with having sisters or brothers around 24/7 especially if they are younger than her...


Yep, she's an only child and I do think it's an issue with her when she goes down there she goes from our household of 2, to a household of 8 (GF's brother and 3 kids also live at her fathers). When she hasn't been there in a while she does look forward to going there, but she can only handle so much before it gets to be too much and she wants to come home again.


Beenthere wrote:
...I also had some major sharing issues, normally I hid my toys from them because they weren't as careful with them as I was and I didn't want them broken...


That's an issue she definitely has, too. :lol:

She says that her father's GF is nice to her so I am glad of that.



Beenthere
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18 Jul 2010, 8:44 pm

Eight. 8O

That would be enough to overwhelm even me after a couple hours. :lol:

If she has an area were she can have some "quiet time" for awhile that might help, although I'm sure that wouldn't be easy in a household of that size.

If she likes music, maybe a something portable with headphones could help to block some of the background out when it gets to be too much.

Helps me cope better when finding a quiet place to hide just isn't possible.


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DW_a_mom
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18 Jul 2010, 11:07 pm

whatamess wrote:
Sorry, but your ex-mil should not be your best friend, she should be her son's best friend...also, I really thought you wanted advice on how to make this better, but it's obvious that you just want a "you are doing a good job, keep doing it, they are wrong, you are right..." If so, continue in that path...it will get worse...YOUR children WILL suffer...You can blame it on the ex not seeing them, but when the kids grow up they will see the reality of things...You can blame others all you want or you can try a different approach...but it's obvious that your need to be "right" is greater than your need to try something different in the hopes of making it easier for your daughter...at the end, when it gets worse, you can blame the ex and gf instead of taking responsibility for instead of attempting to be right, actually looking at other options, other points of view, etc...


I'm not really sure where this came from. It doesn't really jive with what you wrote earlier, or with what else is in thread, IMHO. Kind of feels like there may be a missing puzzle piece?


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pennywisezzz
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18 Jul 2010, 11:19 pm

A major problem I believe is that when she goes there she does not have her own room and sleeps on the couch which she complains of saying it's hard to sleep because the couch material is "rough" and they don't lay down sheets for her to sleep on top of, just one to cover with. But, the GF's brother is moving out and her father said they would be fixing his room up for her so I believe that will help.

I will try to get her a portable CD player. She likes light classical and ambient music - I'll have to burn a few CDs off my computer for her.

We changed plans again. She will stay here for another 3 weeks and then will go down there for 11 days and come back about 4 days before school going back to re-adjust. She is refusing now to go back, but I think after a few weeks here she will be okay with it when the time comes.