The Magic Button.

Post Reply New Topic

I do see that.

But I cannot contribute anything which would require me to empathize with your perspective, which I failed to glean from your first post--I just don't know what I would think or how I would feel in your stead. I live to learn (and learn to live), however, so I will keep watching the thread.

Oh, and welcome to WP!

Thanks man. You already have contributed with your inspiring story.

Azurecrayon expressed how I feel exactly. I ADORE my son, and wouldn't want him to change, but I am concerned about how he will make it in the world, since so many in this world are so selfish and unkind. My son is only 5 yrs old, and I am already noticing children his age give him strange looks. I can only imagine what it will be like for him in the future.

Angelbear- I can only speak from my experience with my son who is also 5 and has Moderate Autism. My son doesn't know other kids or other people look at him weird. At this point, his feelings are not hurt when people give him strange looks. So all the concern and uncomfortable feelings I have about this issue are my own. I figure I will never be able to change people's reactions to what my son does or doesn't do, so the best thing I can do is to look at their reactions with a non-judgmental view. I know it sounds a little too good to be true or even delusional, but it works for me. That's how I cope.

In normal circumstances this is how it usually plays out:
My son makes some strange noises in public. People around us look at him weird. I look at the people and think they are all a bunch of A-holes for looking at us weird, which leads to me envisioning a future filled with A-holes at every corner for my son. The whole thing snowballs and you feel like CRAP, which ruins your day.

Non-judgemental view:
My son makes weird noises in public. People look at us weird. I look at the people looking at us weird and think, "I would do the same thing if I heard weird noises too." I give my son a big hug with a smile and I move on.

What changed? My son didn't change. The people's response didn't change. I only changed my belief that weird looks are not bad but normal.

BTW: This takes alot of practice to become natural. I'm still constantly working on it myself.

Father Warrior-Thanks-----I know you are right, and I am definitely working on this all the time and getting better at it. My son has no idea either that people are looking at him strangely, so it is my issue.

One thing that I have been trying to focus on is that my son is very cute, and VERY social with adults. So even if he goes up to a complete stranger and says some of his made up words like "ingo, bingo!!----it usually makes someone laugh. He does brighten peoples days! I figure that the people that give him strange looks, probably have issues of their own! LOL!

Oh yeah.