Any advice for my adult child?????

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Hey Lostmom - It takes many people an awful lot more than two times. I wouldn't give up either. That said, I still think that you should have some well defined plans before you show up at the door.

Is she sick or dope sick? I would think that either way it may be a good opportunity for you to make inroads. That said, your plan of action may be different based upon the answer.

Good luck to you. I know a BUNCH of recovered herion addicts, it is possible if she wants it. As a matter of fact, more than one of the recovered herion addicts I know say that quitting smoking was harder. Just remember if she's dope sick - that she NEVER has to feel this way again.

Well it's been a busy,busy timefor me.
I got a call from TJ ion Friday Oct 8th. It was late in the day. It was the man in TJ who had been taking care of my duaghter. He had conviced her to talk to me.

I asked her to what she wanted. At that point she said she wanted to go to Tecate to check in and get clean. I had to act fast. No one I had ever depended on wasz around for help and advice.

I got on the internet and found reasonable car insurance for Mexico ( it is against the law to drive there without it.) then I packed food and water. I would not stop anywhere for anything as I would be a lone female traveler.

I got my passport card and drove in to the night. i arived in TJ during the night. I asked ploice, taxi drivers and some of the local security at the night clubs. I finally gave up finding it in the dark and parked by a park that was well lit, but full of drug users. I felt safe parked by the taxi-cabs where drivers slept in the pre-dawn hours.

As light came I went to the block where I was given the adress where she was. There is no phone. It was due to an old numbering system that has not been removed from some buildings and the new one is not written on the new ones. I took my best guess and waited by some apartments that were over doctors offices ( the ones that sell services ceap to Americans from the US).

I guessed right and soon found myself talking to the man who had kindly housed my daughter.

Next we were on our way to ( in my opinon) one of the best rehab clinics in North America. the road to Tecate is beutiful. We had time to talk. She seemed ready to check-in and get professional help.

When we arrived were warmly greeted. My daughter was checked in and toldshe would remain there for 3 months. She can have outside contact in two weeks.

I have to figure out, with her help and in put where she will go after she gets out. This is hte part where I need a concrete plan.

Wish me and my daughter luck. I welcome any advice for 29 (almost 30) year old Asperger's with addiction who is starting life over again with nothing to her name.

Third attempt at posting a reply. *Grumbles about website overload*
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Find out if there is any social or financial help for her re: apartments.
Find out if there are any groups that can help her find a part time job.
Find out if there are any nice affordable apartments near (but not too near) you.
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My biggest issues are in dealing with officials. Doctors, police, government workers, etc. I find it intimidating, oppressive, often unproductive, to deal with these people, and often put off dealing with them until there's a big buildup of trouble. Scary buildups aren't good. I'd say this might be an important consideration - schedule with her a day every month (the 20th is a good date) where you go over and visit in order to offer moral support in paying bills and organizing anything that might require dealing with officials. This can also give you a chance to check the fridge and see how she's doing on eating properly.

I am super stoked for both of you - OUTSTANDING NEWS!! !! !

I'm going to give you a bogus AA answer - that you will hear a lot of........

Just deal with getting her clean right now. Don't future trip and work out too much stuff until you see how treatment unfolds. Once she is clear, she may see things differently than you regarding where she wants to be. If you start figuring out too much now, you may end up guiding more than will be helpful. Work with the staff at the facility, they should help the two of you figure out how to help.

To Oddfiction,

I think your right. Dealing with the varoius agencies is a pain. I have gotten through my fourth year of college without owing a dime by wrangling through all kinds of acencies. Now that I have my BA I am dealing with Department of Rehabilitation and the Ticket to Work Program to gain interships and find meaningful employment. I know how to work the system.

I am looking at all angles. Right now I need to figure out ways to assit her, and let her decide how she wants to work it out. If she chosses to stay in Mexico my hands are tied. If she wants to be here I know she can either temporary disability or permanent disability.

The problem is the programs that educate and rehabilitate people just afre not there for permanet disability. The idea is that it is permanet. If she picks temoprary she has a two year window to kind of relax before she must join any work/study proframs full time.
She will have the finl answer in all decisions.

To Kailuamon, Thanks for your words of advice. I am not dead set on any particular way for her to mainstream back in to society. i only want to be there if she is receptive of my help and wants a better life. I can only trust that she is where she needs to be now and hope she stays on the right path for her.

I just want to issue simple words of encouragement and support. I can't do anything else, but I'm thinking of you, and wishing you the best.

I know what you mean about those genes.

I am BPI and that was no picnic for my daughters. They are all beautiful and amazing. I don't know about my sperm-donor as he left before I could remember. As for my daughters father I had to cut him loose before she was born. He was 28 and I was 14.He purposed. I found out he was spending most of his money on alcohol. I said no to marriage.Then I found out I was pregnant. That made me even more determined not to be with him.needless to say I never knew much of his family.

I probably would have never been with him if I was not a undiagnosed teenager. My only regret is passing on those genes.

I talked to daughter in rehab. She was anxious when she got on the phone. She wanted me to know she was staying. I said I know that. She asked if the counselor had told me. Told me what I asked. I tried to leave she says. I was dope sick and wanted out so I went to the front office and demanded to go. Then I talked to the director and it's OK now. I feel much better.

I had to laugh. I said to her you think your the only person who ever tried to leave because you wanted to go get hi. I made her see the funny irony of her behavior. Once she was laughing about it I felt better for having her see that she wasn't doing anything bad, or violated some norm. In fact her behavior was typical.

I told her I knew she would stay and do well. I could sense her relief from having had this conversation.

I am hoping our future conversations will be as positive as this.

Thanks for your update! Hang in there. I wish the best for you and your daughter!! !!