Do Aspies always get violent in their teens?

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Well some people with AS get violent in their teens, when I was 15 I committed a series of violent rapes, in combination with break and enters, and I actually blinded one victim for life because I put a blowtorch to her eyes so she couldn't see me. Luckily I have been rehabilitated, and because I was so young, the courts didn't want to put me in jail for life, so I just went through the system until being released at age 21. So yes a large percentage of us get violent I think.

My Teen Years were the mellowest years of my Life. I've only had two violent episodes in my Teen Years. One at 16, when I've thought that my Sister called me a "ret*d" and I've started to charge at her, and my Mom caught me, and yanked me away, by the arm, and than I've elbowed my Mom.

The second episode happened to me, in Grade 12. My so-called Friend said something that upset me, very deeply. I've started crying, and she was telling me to stop it, and that I look ugly, when I cry. I've punched her in the side of the Face, and ten secconds later, I've realized what I've done. I was trying to appoligize and give her a Hug, but she was doing her Self-Defence Moves on me. We were sent to the School Office, for the rest of the Lunch Hour.

From what I've seen and read, Asperger's and violence don't necessarily go together. I think that when Aspies do get violent, it's from a deep level of frustration and anger. You've got a good head start on helping your son understand and deal with the world - give him lots of love and support, and raise him (by example) to understand that violence is not an acceptable option. And teach him ways to deal with his frustrations and anger.
My son took Tai Kwon Do for 5 years, and I think it made a tremendous difference in helping him cope and feel in control. Tai Chi and all kinds of meditation training can help, too.

Teen years to me mean hopelessness, frustration, and unjust life.

I was angry. Voilence DID happen.

However, I never struck first.

When I was a teen, I guess I had a great potential for violence, but the violence was manifested in self-defeating and risky behaviors. I would not have responded to love and support because I did not feel love and could not deal with it when given by others. I simply had to grow through it.

When I was in High/Middle school, I had a lot of internalized agression, but I also had a moral objection to hurting people.

The only time I initated violence in those years was in retaliation for a "verbal" bully (skilled in psychological warfare, but not at all built for a physical confrontation). Thankfully, he hit back, making it a "fight", forcing the faculty to awknowledge it (and they actually listened to me... which had never happened before!), and he also got suspended. After we returned, he stopped.

In my freshman year of high school I did things like punch trees, and then smear the blood on doors/desks.


I thought a lot about performing a school shooting (even though I definitely did not have the means to do so, and a moral objection against it, but I might have done it had my parents posessed a firearm), but that stopped after Columbine. The importance of that incident was acknowledgement of school bullying, something that the faculty simply chose to ignore before then. Also, by that year the bullying had stopped as those who had tormented me had all grown up or dropped out.

I have always kept anger and such in, and not let it out...except in a few major events.

In middle school I had a few, which resulted in suspension and such. They were mostly acts of agression aimed towards objects rather than people.

at about 16 I had one major bit of anger and losing my path. I went on basically what amounted to a vandalism spree and broke lots and lots of things. What worried me most, and still does, is that at the time I was not thinking of any consequences of my actions. I didnt think for a second that what I was doing was wrong, or I could get hurt...Honestly I feel like someone ELSE did all those things...yet it was me. Im not sure if this has anything to do with AS. At the time i was stressed out due to various issues. So who knows.

Over my life I have had about...4 incidents I would call somewhat major. All resulted from a buildup of anger from various issues. Not to say that justifies any of it.

Junior high was THE WORST HELL OF MY LIFE.

I was violently and sexually harassed on a regular basis, reported everything, and the counselor placed all the blame on me for being "weird." The thing was, though, the way she'd talk to me, she convinced me everything in there that it really WAS my fault, and when I would realized how stupid everything she said was on my way out of the office, I'd go back in to confront her about it, get damaged even more, and when things got REALLY bad, I went directly to the principal's office--but she was in a meeting and the front office ladies caught me waiting outsider her door and took me to the guidance office for disciplinary action.

Resulting this horrible situation (how the counselors excused the bullies' actions because my autistic behaviors predisposed me to their maltreatment; essentially what they were telling me was "how can someone NOT beat you for that?"), during this time I became severely depressed, ditched school a lot, tried to run away, became suicidal, deeply desired to fight back, but there was a whole mob of boys, and they'd restrain me so I couldn't fight back. At home, I'd pace listening to music for hours on end (homework doesn't seem so important when kids who have never even SPOKEN to you will steal it again anyway), and when anyone told me to turn the music down, or said anything to me, I'd yell at them, because they were bringing me back into the reality I was trying to (understandably) escape.

It didn't help I started seizuring then, too, which was another thing I got made fun of for. SERIOUSLY, if for your child there's even the CHANCE that it's anything like what I'm describing, PLEEEEAAAASSSE pull him/her out of public school and homeschool. I'm a junior in high school now and I'm still coping with these issues and some of the traumatic memories.

I would hit myself, usually my head, I guess as punishment for being such a freak to deserve such treatment, and unfortunately, as I'm not usually aware of my surroundings when I'm emotionally upset, as I was hitting inanimate objects, sometimes people would get in the way (when I am this upset to be hitting myself or other objects, my vision becomes very limited, and most is kind of blacked out, like when you stand up too fast and can't see for a bit). The thing was, when I was most stressed out was usually coinciding with the same circumstances that put my mom in close proximity, so I would frequently hit her by mistake, and she'd cry, but I wouldn't be immediately aware of the cause (I'd think she was crying because of my distress), as I wasn't aware I'd mistakenly harmed her, and so when I'd find out and start apologizing and hating myself for being so clumsy, she wouldn't believe me, tell me to stop lying. She's never believed it was on accident.

And my sister was a whole different ballpark (one of them, anyway; I had two). One night I confided to her that I was going to kill myself the next day (we were going to bed) and she told me to leave her alone. I told her I was going to reveal how horrible a person she was in the note, and she said go ahead, see if I care. So one day she was mad at me for acting so weird, telling me to stop being a "ret*d" in her word, and I told her she wasn't my sister anymore, that I f***ing hated her (which I believe was warranted after the years of physical and emotional abuse at her hands, which usually my mom thought I would start, even though I was defending myself). Then my sister told me she was going to walk out of that door and she was going to leave and not come back, and I told her to go ahead (hey, she pretty much told me to leave this world forever, why not let her leave the house forever?) Then she kept stalling and trying to make me feel guilty and everything.

But I speak what is on my mind; if I don't I go crazy, and she'd treated me like such a sub-human throughout the years, it'd always confuse me how after a major confrontation she'd pretend like begrudgingly apologizing would reverse time and she'd act like she liked me and even did nice things for me only to cause me great harm (emotional and physical) in a short time. Then she'd get mad at me for not agreeing to this bizarre flip-flopping relationship and say I was needlessly holding a grudge for a pattern of behavior!

Keep in mind, on the worst day of my life, when my dad asked me how school had gone, I told him "great" because that was my stock response, and I was going to tell him what had happened once he got home, but I never knew how to start that conversation. One of the MOST IMPORTANT THINGS you can teach an Aspie child is how to start a difficult conversation. My dad always told me I could tell him anything, same with my mom, but when it came down to it, I didn't really know how to lead from a normal day's routine into a description of physical and sexual assault and how the guidance office wouldn't do anything about it, but maybe I deserve it, but they still need to be punished i'm so confused, which would've been the conversation.

I think it would have been good if there had been a set procedure about starting a difficult conversation, like a key sentence that I say to signal that at some point later on in the day or whenever there's time, there's something serious I need to talk about. Like, say "Something really bad happened." and that would be cue for parents to have a serious discussion. I dunno. Something like that.

Most people with Asperger's aren't violent. However if they hve severe Asperger's some them could be violent. Some people with Asperger's have bipolar,Odd stands for Oppostional defiant disorder ,Adhd etc as co existing. Not all angry kids have Bipolar.

I think that since we, as aspies, are forced into situations that we can't handle more often than NTs (neurotypicals) we can seem to have short tempers when in fact, we just become more fustrated than Nts do at the same thing because we find them harder.

The keyword "always" should answer your question. The answer is no.

Magicmike, please explanin your answer

I don't think that most children and teens with AS are violent. I know it's not been the case with my son, nor with the AS teens that I've had the privilege of taking care of where I work.

My son's school counselor, in a letter to his psychologist and psychiatrist wrote: "...he has a gift for expressing himself in a very adult, introspective manner. He is very thoughtful about his behavior and its effect on others. If it were not so disabling to him, one would find his sensitivity to others to be one of his most remarkable features. He is one of those kids who seems never to be able to relax and have a good time. I have always regarded him to be a perfectionist, emotionally sensitive, and an extremely analytical child with high (but realistic) expectations of himself. In our sessions, he has always exhibited a delightful sense of humor and a quick wit, but then again, he has never had problems relating to adults."

My son is very into rules and does not like to break rules. He also doesn't like to see anyone mistreated in any way. He has been hurt many times by teasing, bullying, etc., and it's never turned him into an aggressive or violent person.

So have hope.

Saying that "every" or "all" people "always" turn out to be violent is a logical fallacy of the sweeping generalization type. Meaning no matter what, not 100% of AS people become violent teenageers. Actually, I'd think we're less violent than most NTs in that we internalize our anger; I can't recall the last time I've been in a fight with anyone really.