People should be careful what they say...

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If you decide to cut out from your life everyone who makes mistakes in judgment, there really won't be anyone left. Personally, I find the world I live in to be more pleasant if I gently nudge people in the areas they need to learn and grow, so that we can stay on friendly terms. Life is easier when you are on friendly terms with most people. And, it's not like I don't have plenty to learn and grow about myself.

You guys think she really learned, rather than just said what was socially appropriate and went on to be cruel to the other kid and his parents?

Under such circumstances, then, you would be right. And it is an NT, and that is the judgment of the NT who was having the conversation... yeah, you're probably right.

It might take one or two nudges, but a conversation like that most definitely would have made her think, and getting someone to think is step 1. Always need to have a step 1. There's no downside; just potential upsides.

When you run into the rare people that just want to shut you off and shut you up no matter how tactfully you approach the issue well, then, that is probably someone to avoid.