3 3/4 year old referred to psychologist by kindergarten

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Thank you very much for all your replies, yes, I will check out the links you gave me.

Re: the counting, he does this more often when he is tired, anxious or stressed. For instance, if I tell him off or I ask him a question he does not know the answer to. I have read on a medical site that children with ASD get very anxious so when he does this I take his hand and tell him he doesn't have to worry.

I find him not listening very frustrating, for instance he appears impulsive and will run off even though he knows he is not supposed to. We use a wrist strap to stop him running, sometimes I think he looks a bit big to be wearing one. He tried to make himself a hot chocolate today, he climbed up to get the chocolate out of the cupboard. But I had told him many times before not to make his own drinks but to ask Mummy. He had asked a few times and I said "when I'm ready to make it, soon" so he seemed to think "well, I'll make it myself then".

Sometimes I find I raise my voice when he carries on when I want him to stop ad then he cries and it breaks my heart. I will try touching his shoulder and getting his attention instead.

It is interesting what people have been saying about the eyes of people with Asperger's being different and beautiful; our son has very intense eyes, very dark, it is difficult to describe. A bit "wild" I would say. Very beautiful.

I dread picking him up from preschool because of yet another poor report. Apparently he has good days and bad days. Yesterday he hit and kicked staff who were trying to stop him doing what he wanted. He is very particular about what he wants, e.g. which hand he holds, what order we do things in, or how he gets dressed (even if it is quite warm he wants his coat zipped all the way to the neck, because one day it was cold and I insisted he wore it that way). He hasn't made friends at preschool yet. he gets very excited when he sees other children, but if they get too close he leaps into my arms and clings to me with his arms and legs.

He really enjoys going out of the house to familiar places. He loves going shopping and picking out items for the list. Once he knows the way somewhere he gets very upset if we go a different way.

We are waiting for the psychologist report. Once he has been fully assessed the preschool will be able to help him. It seems they cannot cope at present and normal discipline doesn't work. I think I have an easier time at home but I'm finding him a bit more set in his ways than even two weeks ago.

I do despair of the anti-intellectualism that is rife in schools. I dread the thought of him being bored at school and prevented from achieving.

Your son sounds very much like mine at that age. He is likely an intelligent and curious little boy. You can use his interest in numbers and machinery to help him learn and to interact with him.

Don't be too discouraged or worried by anything you read about autism at this point, the journey is just beginning and there's no way of knowing yet how much aid he will need at any given point.

Anxiety is common in our kids. Training yourself not to yell is definitely a good idea! Yelling tends to be really counter-productive, IME.