old_fool wrote:
Could it be also simply his age? He is prepubescent, and at that age children tend to kind of disconnect from their parents a bit - but it's only outwardly disconnect. In that age, it is very important that parents continue to talk to their children, to try to get through to them and continue to educate them. Apparently, non of that effort is really lost on them, though, so you just keep on trying to get through to him. As Churchill would say, KBO.
He's now 14 years old and soon to turn 15. So I doubt he has yet to hit puberty. We have seen hormonal changes since about ten or eleven. It is usually in terms of frustration and so forth. No interactive play, no interests in maintaining personal friends, etc.. He plays by himself and with no one else. He has his own cadre of friends at school and is willing to help and teach them.
I understand part of this is his autism. If he is agreeing to help others out, he feels great and understood. That assures me he is learning at least some social skills, at least to me. I couldn't push for friendships even if I wanted to. He had two friends years ago that would come over to our house, but he was always lost in his own world and they simply stopped hanging around. I felt sorry for him, sure. But I also did feel that he was happy and content. I simply let it be.
Prupubescent or not, he is way more attracted to "water" than he is to people. I assume it's part of his autism. He also likes to spend hours and hours in his room building things with construction toys. He can have his whole floor laid out in a few hours. It's amazing, really. But he locks his door. And we have to knock. We come in, and he throws a blanket over what he's done, as if you're not gonna be allowed to see it. That hurts me a bit. He sits down in his room and "talks" to pictures of waterfalls, oceans, anything having to do with water, carries pictures everywhere he goes in a folder, as if "they" are his closest friends. I mean, he talks to them. I can hear him in his room at night. He talks for hours. So I doubt it's just simply his age. He is in his own world. He outright claims to have perceptions that he couldn't understand himself, as if he has an emotion or peculiar sense that is unique. Luckily, he does see a therapist. We may never understand him to the fullest, but I do have concerns. I want him to be able to cope in the world as he gets older. He's turning 15 now, and we are trying to think of getting him a job, but he demands one in which he does not have to deal with people. So I'm putting that off, because I don't think he can cope yet. His dream is getting into water conservation at a political level, and that deals with people. He thinks his intelligence will outdo his social skills, but I doubt that's true in the larger scheme of things.
28 Feb 2011, 10:22 pm
