Would you say this is a sensory issue?
Yes, I'm fully aware that discipline is very important. I was talking more about rhetorical questions, the ones designed to trick the child into saying the "wrong" thing. Consider the following.
This is in reference to the scenario that the OP described.
Adult: "Why are you getting up and walking around while everyone else is seated?"
Child: "I don't know."
Adult: "You can't tell me!? So you're being defiant on purpose."
Child "No, I'm not. I..." (trails off)
Adult: "Be quiet when I'm talking! You need to listen..." (continuing into a disciplinary lecture)
OR
The parent signed up their child for swim lessons on Saturday morning. The child objects, because that's when cartoons are shown. (Not anymore, I know, but bear with me.)
Adult: "What's more important: learning to swim or watching cartoons?"
Child: "The cartoons; I really like them."
Adult: "What? You're refusing to cooperate? No TV for the rest of the day!"
In both scenarios, the initial question is what most defense attorneys would call "entrapment". (I got two of them from my childhood, but that's not the point.) Based on the wording of the questions, the adult clearly gave the child a choice, and yet, when the child made the "wrong" choice, he was made out to be a bad person.
Here's how an attorney would describe it.
In the first scenario, question "why" prompts for an answer, for the action described right after it. Namely, the child is being asked for the reason(s) for getting up and walking around. Now, in the "real" world, outside the legal system, "why" is almost never an information request, but rather a provocation. But how is an aspie child supposed to know that!? (If it were a genuine information request, the question would start with "tell me the reason you..."). I'll skip the details in the second scenario, but the reasoning is similar. The child is given an illusion of a choice, which was never there in the first place.
Now, this is not a shot at parents and teachers (in other words, not an ad hominem attack), but at their use of certain phrases that can get misunderstood by an aspie child. Because when that happens, the child get disciplined twice for the same offense: first time for actually misbehaving (which he deserves), and second time for misunderstanding what was said (which he does not deserve).
Adult: "What's more important: learning to swim or watching cartoons?"
Child: "The cartoons; I really like them."
Adult: "What? You're refusing to cooperate? No TV for the rest of the day
The child is given an illusion of a choice, which was never there in the first place.
Now, this is not a shot at parents and teachers (in other words, not an ad hominem attack), but at their use of certain phrases that can get misunderstood by an aspie child. Because when that happens, the child get disciplined twice for the same offense: first time for actually misbehaving (which he deserves), and second time for misunderstanding what was said (which he does not deserve).
The question here is one of pedagogy versus regulating "undesirable" behavior. In the case of the cartoons, yes the child may like cartoons or candy bars but a parent has to also regulate how much candy or how many hours a week a child watches cartoons. If there is a tipping point where the child is ecxessively watching TV or playing Nintendo etc then the parent has to put their foot down to prevent undesirable behavior on the part of the child even if ( in this case) the child enjoys the experience.
So now getting back to swimming classes there is obvious merit in going swimming, but less so for staying home to watch pokemon. I think it's more honest to tell the child that watching too much tv is bad and swimming is healthy for their bodies. Anyway that's what I would do. This way there is a pedagogical element in the child learns new information that will also influence their behavior. But in addition here is the holy Grail that all parents of autistic kids seek, to reduce undesirable behaviour to a minimum. Sounds simple and avoids the need for playing mind games with the child.
My DS had a lot of trouble sitting in circle last year too. The teachers really didn't want to allow him to be a disruption because, let's face it, that just isn't fair to all the other kids. We developed a few different mechanisms to try to help the situation.
1. Space place. The room had a "space place" where any child could choose to go when they were unable to participate in an activity that the rest of the class was doing. This was just a nook under a bookshelf that was made to be a comfortable place for a kid to sit. This place was NEVER used as a "time-out" where an adult told a child to go. It was only for kids to choose as an option. DS was given the choice of being in circle or being in the space place. This got amended a bit to also allow sitting in a chair just outside of circle, so maybe the rocking chair idea brought up by another would work for you. DS spent most circle times in the space place last year.
2. Transition object. DS was allowed to bring an object with him to circle, for him it was usually either a tennis ball or a small toy car. He was allowed to keep that as long as he wasn't playing with it and being a distraction.
3. Circle seat. We bought one of those "sit disks" an inflatable plastic cushion with a knobby surface that provides some kids a needed amount of sensory stimulation. DS was allowed to get this out of the cupboard at circle time and sit on it during that time. It was a special thing reserved for circle time. I was concerned that the other kids would wonder why he got a special seat at circle when no one else did but happily this was never an issue. His teacher also often let him sit in her lap on days when he did come to circle.
I agree about the idea that it may be a habit for him. That's a good thing to investigate. The lighting, noise, echos, etc. of the room are all very good possiblities of things that could be bothering him. A set of headphones that reduce but don't totally block out sound might be helpful. A light went off for me as it did for another poster when you mentioned that story circle is right after snack. Is it possible that he is having a reaction to something in particular that he is eating for snack (too mcuh sugar, food dyes, or some other unknown food sensitivity)? Also the time of day question, is he just "out of gas" by that time of the day? If so, then maybe the space place or similar solution would be useful so that he can be in the same room, not be a distraction and he won't have the unattainable (for him) expectation of sitting in circle.
The good news for us is that DS has transitioned from participating in circle about 5% of the time to doing it about 95% of the time. Now, he is very engaged at circle time and tells us that he really likes it. It took trying lots of different things but it was really worth the effort.
I have a 10 year old child on the spectrum. He was identified through his preschool when he was about 3. I am just now fully understanding what a huge issue sensory problems have been for him for YEARS. I am some what angry at the number of special education teachers who decided his behaviour was a result of him just wanting his way. (Or maybe they just believed there was no other way than to try to strong arm him into normalcy) Actually, if their efforts to just drill in to him the rules had paid off (his recent IEP stated "he knows the rules, he just chooses not to use them"- then he'd be fine by now) We went the "naughty" boy route and we managed to make him ashamed of his behaviour and regretful and developed in him a lot of additional anxiety- which of course is kind of a relief because we want him to care what others think, right?
The county saved a good amount of money by denying OT. Additionally, we assumed that if the school system said he didn't have sensory issues, they must know, right?
Sensory is HUGE- it is hard to see and understand, but it is there. My son gets relief from heavy blankets. At 10, going into 5th grade that's going to get awkward to use. I wish we'd been more aware when he was 3 and 4 (and 5, 6, 7, 8,9). The social demands and struggles are now greater than they were when he was younger and we've just now really started exploring ways to help him with the sensory. AS kids are under almost constant stress from their environment. You have to give them every tool available. I share this as someone who regrets not doing more to help my son.
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