Aspergers v Very High Intelligence

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It sounds like she DOES have AS. My life at her age was VERY similar. I was very smart, did well in school, and EVEN made some puppets! OK, they were really marionettes. I spoke in regular sentences even earlier than your daughter, and apparently walked ok as well. My writing has generally been clean and easy to read. I had the same clothing and sensory issues. In the 3rd grade, I did a drawing and painted it and, although there was an error with it I didn'[t like, because someone bumped some paint, I STILL won first prize in a county wide contest. I have EVEN gone as much as 24 hours without getting dressed. BTW I DID sound arrogant, and some would think I wasn't behaved, etc....

At the time, I was actually strong for my age, though I wasn't into exercise. I also wasn't taught to swim in a regular way until a bit after that.

I would say try to keep her interested and get her GOOD teachers, if you can. THAT would have helped me.

Hi everyone

I have a 5yr old daughter, whose behaviour has caused a lot of stress and confusion to me since she was born. After reading a ton of articles, I've recently come to the conclusion that she must have Aspergers. However, a mum outside school today mentioned that it was possible that she was just really intelligent. I mentioned her lack of friends and she said that she'd noticed my daughter has a huge personality and thinks perhaps the girls don't know how to take her 'joie de vivre', so shy away from her. The mum is being genuinely helpful, not dismissive of my concerns, and is trying to help me get to the bottom of things.

My daughter's development was very quick - she spoke in meaningful sentences at a year (not parrot fashion) and walked just like an adult soon after. She's always been a very physically active child and a bit of an athlete and good swimmer. We didn't need to show her how to hold a pencil and her writing and drawing are excellent. At her last development review, the health visitor was impressed, if a bit mystified. She also has a fantastic imagination, which is very different from average. I helped out at her school's science festival this week and had the pleasure of watching her entertain the class with her puppetry skills, out of the blue.

However, her behaviour has always been very difficult. She's always refused to take my hand outside, near roads. She won't leave a place when asked to - we're always last to leave anywhere. Until recently, I would have said she was hyperactive - she would be doing anything except what she was supposed to be doing. She often refuses to say 'hello' or 'thanks'. No behaviour management strategies have worked at all. She does have definite sensory issues, which contribute to her personality. Clothing has to be just right. She's very easily distracted and has trouble getting on with her work- which is the main issue at school. But, she can concentrate on what the teacher is saying, whilst everyone else is doing the same and she gets through her homework tasks very quickly, with very little help. There are a lot more issues and she seems to tick a lot of the boxes for Aspergers. But, could it be possible that she's so smart that she objects to being told what to do and the sensory issues (which I also have) are just coincidental?

I'm meeting again with her teachers in 2 weeks and I'm trying to figure out what's going on with her before we decide to go down the psychological assessment route.

Does anyone have any similar experiences?

I was similar in some ways as a child. I was smarter than my parents and didn't understand why doing better than anyone else in my family had ever done at school and being neat and tidy weren't enough to earn me the respect that adults got just for being older. I'd say treat her like an adult, give her as much responsibility as she can handle, and leave her be. Having an AS diagnosis did nothing but undermine my trust in my parents (I would not have consented if I'd known fully what was happening). I would not recommend getting one unless she herself starts to feel unhappy about her lack of friends, and even then you should discuss it with her first, and explain all the downsides to her too.

I didn't have any friends at primary school largely because I don't enjoy the company of people who are less bright than me. I had a couple of friends at secondary school (when the smarter people who wanted to work started to clique together with each other) and had a really active fun social life once I got to university, where everyone is cleverer than me.

If you can get her what she needs while avoiding the label, then try to avoid the label. It could be used against her if she ever wishes to adopt or gets into a custody battle. It could also compromise her position for health insurance (which can be a problem even in the UK as employers often want to insure themselves in case their workers go off sick and can suddenly "withdraw" offers of employment if they find out.)