Crying

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Oh, I'm exactly the same. Word for word, I could have written this post.
I agree that it means he is learning to control himself, my tears have saved the lives of many of my peers in high school...
I don't cry anymore, I'm 33, and highly embarassed at the thought of crying in front of people. I do "rage fits" all over again instead, but they are verbal. Like an explosion of logical arguments proving you how stupid you are.....
I guess meltdowns evolve with age.
By the way, just wanted to add: exercises and reasonning are all good, but meltdowns often shuts down our "reasonning" part. When I'm so overwhelmed with rage at my husband that i'm on the verge of hitting him over the head with a chair , I start crying and run away. I put myself to bed, and as the fog dissolves, i start wondering if I did not overreact a bit. What he said becomes clearer and clearer gradually, and in the end, after maybe half an hour, I feel absolutely stupid as I realize I had misunderstood something, and no, he was not trying to hurt me on purpose. Then I'm so embarassed I don't even dare to go and talk to him, but generally he comes in and asks me if it's safe now, if the monster is gone...makes me laugh.
Let him do his own thinking and the "unbearable" he feels will dissipate.

@SC_2010 Not embarrassing at all! I am really, really glad that you found it useful enough to recommend. Plus it was a good reminder to revisit the info there.

@ediself I liked this:

Giving him time and space to just feel his feelings, and figure it out on his own is exactly what we are finding he needs. Sometimes easier said than done when my mother's instinct is to comfort him and alleviate his pain somehow, but being left alone is what I want when I am upset and he needs the same. I have been used to doing this when he is showing signs of anger (for him shouting, pacing, withdrawing to his room etc), but now that his stress exhibits as tears, I am having to relearn that tears don't mean "I am hurt please comfort me" like they used to, but rather "I am overwhelmed and/or angry please back off."

And as an aside, he was happy and relaxed this morning. Fingers crossed that this week is easier for him to manage than last.

I'm such a poetic soul, aren't I?
hope you get used to it it's still easier to manage than rages!

ediself.... are you quietly pointing something out about me?

My son is funny.. Within the last month or two, instead of always yelling and screaming, he has (50% of the time) taken to running to his room and crying or just cooling down. The first time he did this, I gave him his space.. and about 30 minutes later he came out and apologized... Then asked why I didn't come into his room after him. I answered that I thought he made a good choice to go calm down.... his response... "but I didn't think you'd let me. I yelled at you and ran off."

This just shows me more of his perception. I've long been trying to get him to go to his room when he's melting down.. I've tried to explain to him that this is not a punishment, but to allow him to calm down and think about things.... He still thought of it as punishment... but I'm glad to see that he's taking advantage of a chance to self-regulate.

I think "Benjamin, I'm not yelling at you, please don't yell at me" is becoming a regular part of my speech. Usually by the third repetition, he either realizes he's out of control or becomes so frustrated with me that it triggers the run-to-his-bedroom reaction.

I didn't imply anything, not because I'm "so perfect", but because my brain hasn't yet registered that you see yourself as a NT.
And also, because I generally don't do that, I'll just flat out tell you stuff. Like, for example, that you're no more NT than I am

LOL!

If he is on some type of medication that is new or is on a new dosage of it, that could effect how he deals with his emotions. It might also just be that he has just emotionally worn himself out or has been worn out and just breaks down now when something upsets him because he gets so overwhelmed...similar to PTSD, which I think people with AS are extremely prone to due to the constant stresses of having to live in a world that doesn't understand them, respect them or empathize with them.