Religion and Parenthood

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I agree - it was very difficult for him but SO worth it. And I have to say, anyone who thinks it's a lifestyle or choice, has never spent time with folks who tried everything they could to stuff who they were, to no avail. It is heartbreaking to see that struggle. I know I am going off on a tangent, but what happens to people in the name of religion sickens me. For anyone who says it's a choice - try switching over then. Sounds outragous, right?

We joined a church largely to help our daughter with some social issues. After an awkward start this has been an excellent decision. She is becoming friends with other children in the congregation! She is now able to sit (relatively) contentedly drawing, reading, or speaking quietly with me for almost an entire sermon. She is showing somewhat of an interest in participating with Sunday School.

A further blessing of church is that it introduces her and her "needs" to other members of our small community. There are several faculty members from her school in attendance, so I've been able to talk with each of them one-on-one about her specific social and sensory needs well before she goes into kindergarten.

Two people have even commented to me how much they enjoy her participation during sermons. (I don't know how to link to a previous thread, but I used to "vent" about it here. perhaps a moderator could link to my "church" thread) She used to yell at the top of her lungs things like "THIS IS NOT A CHILD FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT!! I AM ESCAPING! I AM SNEAKILLY ESCAPING THIS TORTURE!! !!" When she was doing this, I was humiliated. Now I've had several grandma's confide in me that they had kids or grandkids on the spectrum; they were actually delighted by here antics as it made them feel less alone when dealing with the specturm kids in their lives.

Sorry, this reply probably doesn't address anything regarding religion. She is smart enought that eventually she'll make up her own mind about religion. Currently Church is so she can connect with a community and the build a schema of familiar stories so that when people make biblical allusions and metaphors her literal mind is not totally bewildered.

I try to be open minded with religions. Although I admit we'll be disappointed if they don't turn out to be atheists. I'll be prepared for some rebellious periods when they'll try to believe in something that's unusual, but I don't think they'll truly believe in any god. It's just not part of who they are.

Plus once you're an atheist it's very hard to become religious. You don't have a god-shaped hole in your heart to be filled in, never got used to church activities. We all know how aspies resist change and stick to routines. I can't see them wanting to change unless there are major incentives (say loads of easy money and free sex).

i think its erroneous to believe that most parents let their children fully choose when it comes to religion. if that were the case, there would be no children's sunday school or vacation bible school. children wouldnt go to church until they were old enough and had learned about all religious options to make an unbiased choice. i have never actually seen that happen. children are generally taught to believe as their parents believe.

i call myself atheist, my SO describes himself as atheist agnostic. (skepticism and atheism are two of his main special interests, so he is very specific about his beliefs and terminology. i got a 5 min lecture just asking whether he called himself atheist agnostic or agnostic atheist.) we are raising our kids as atheists. we do tell them that they may choose whatever they want to believe when they are older, but i will be completely honest and say we would both be disappointed and feel like we hadnt done our job as parents if they did choose to follow a different path. thats something we have in common with a lot of religious parents.

i will say that being atheist doesnt make it easier, if for no other reason than the support system that church and religious groups give. as an introverted NT partnered with a socially anxious autie, we have NO support system, and there are many times ive looked into unitarian universalist churches just for the community support and social exposure they give. but even finding a church that includes atheists doesnt solve the whole problem of social anxiety or being asocial =)

I wasn't specifically talking about atheism. Sincere atheism is as much a belief as any other religion; there's a big difference between atheism and not believing in anything.

There are plenty of people who don't practice christianity yet still celebrate Christmas and Easter as a social custom. A sincere atheist would refrain from those festivities.