Need to help 19 yr old son learn about his autism

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Anyway if they want my support I'll give it to them,but at the same time I will not support anything that places blame, judgement or worthlessness on that young man.

BTw, if he has a facebook/other page I could correlate what's been written so far, and get pretty near, given the time. Ie - you never know who will do what with the information further down the line. To openly discuss the details of sexual abuse of another adult requires a degree of incomprehension of the possibilities it genrates.

Had my parents done this to me at his age I would have gone ballistic.

Had a journalist or researcher got hold of my intimate details in this way and published them anecdotally in a book , journal article I would have found that person and
gone round and had some serious words. Why?- because I could.

I perhaps would've left out the sexual abuse thing because it wasn't really necessary for the rest of the story ("pretty major issues" would've done the trick), but I otherwise feel that the need for help outweighs the need for privacy in this case, especially because it won't be that easy to track him down based on the data we have.

Hopefuly now they won't , what they have written already closes down possibilities for them to discuss things like this if they are aware of the potential for this young man being ID'd through disclosure.


If they feel the need to disclose every personal aspect of their own lives that's up to them . If they expose aspects of that young man's life, without his consent , then it is not.

Stike the description of abuse then there is little problem here except orientating them to see the issue isn't soley centred around the young man and is more than a bunch of individual references and labels.

It's nice that you guys have reached a consensus but, in the meantime, have you noticed that it is all a moot point since you seem to have scared off the OP?

Bottom line - this woman was looking for support for a son in trouble. Your well thought out moral arguements have successfully deterred this mother from asking for help in the first place. A b***h slap in the face for daring to outline their troubles and trying to find suggestions, or references or opinions from those that may have already been there. She wanted to learn about this scary new DX and what they can do to help their son. Now she may not do that here - when WP is one of the best places to do so. WTG.

Harsh - but I think justified when all things taken into consideration. If she wants to come back
and remove the abuse data, I will try to offer her what support I can if it is appropriate and I'm sure everyone else will as well.

She does not have to do anything. She has not violated terms of service in any way, shape or form. A scared mother reaching out for help - gee, do you think maybe she might have provided as much information as she could so she could get a comprehensive answer? She wouldn't be the first terrified parent to offer too much information in trying to cover all the bases that may or may not be at work in a situation.

You made your point - rather forcefully right from the get go and then bludgeoned it to death. I just hope you realize that there is a bigger picture here besides your outraged sense of justice and privacy. Parents come here - many at what they consider their darkest hour. You points may have merit but they can be made much more diplomatically while still providing the information and support that the Parents forum is intended to do.

Sorry if that's harsh but I'm assuming that you've never been a terrified mother before. It's difficult to imagine what it feels like if you've never been there.

Besides, sexual abuse could be relevant as it has some unique effects, different from other kinds of trauma. The secretiveness of the trauma and the mix of pleasure with abuse are both unique features common in sexual abuse and rare in other trauma.

We hope she returns but other than that there isn't much we can do.

I could try to track her, she's probably posting on a parents support site. - or maybe WP admin could email her.

I hoped she would argue against what I was saying and then I could have gently tried to show how the young man had his own perspective world view and it wasn't just a matter of a parent being right and this young man wrong, and he was the problem. You know open up the discussion to the bigger issues.

Hmmm.

It might be better to let her come back on her own. Tracking her to another forum could be seen as stalking.

If you are that inclined to explain your position, you could always PM her but I wouldn't go beyond that. Just gotta remember that alot of the new posters here - especially the NT ones - are not really aware of our intentions or how something that may seem rude, condescending or aggressive to them, really has none of that emotional baggage attached to it from the largely ASD population here. I've reminded more than a few new posters of this fact when they take offense at a reply.

Also, most other autism support sites are nowhere near as active as this one. I've been on some that I've only checked weekly or less. Most of them are nothing like the daily community we have here so there is the chance she just hasn't checked back in yet.