Need help, one parent in denial
Benjamin2006 wrote:
I think I have a problem with the label and the usefullness of a diagnosis.
If we believe parents instincts are anything to go by then in our case we believe our son is either just on or just off the spectrum, he is five and shows some traits but does not at this stage seem to be showing any serious dehabilitating behaviour.Of course it's early we realise it might change and he's only in school weeks-starts full days today.
My problem is more philosophical...what's the big issue with having some social impairment in a society that is flawed anyway? I could list all kinds of bad experiences and behaviours from people who are NT...it is what human beings do. Now of course I know it is all down to each individual case and clearly some children/adults need support. I think the support is the main thing,if your son can be assisted by help from elsewhere what does the label matter? It's only important that your family gets the support it requires and you are as happy as you all can be.
If we believe parents instincts are anything to go by then in our case we believe our son is either just on or just off the spectrum, he is five and shows some traits but does not at this stage seem to be showing any serious dehabilitating behaviour.Of course it's early we realise it might change and he's only in school weeks-starts full days today.
My problem is more philosophical...what's the big issue with having some social impairment in a society that is flawed anyway? I could list all kinds of bad experiences and behaviours from people who are NT...it is what human beings do. Now of course I know it is all down to each individual case and clearly some children/adults need support. I think the support is the main thing,if your son can be assisted by help from elsewhere what does the label matter? It's only important that your family gets the support it requires and you are as happy as you all can be.
I don't know how it works in the rest of the world but in the states a diagnosis can mean the difference between a 504 and an IEP. In our case we had a 504 and my daughter was getting services for all the 'surface' difficulties - the obvious things that were affecting her learning. Things like handwriting intervention - as soon as she showed improvement, the services were removed. Of course, if she was just a bit behind and needed some extra help to catch up - this would have been ideal. The diagnosis made it clear WHY that approach would not work and to keep yo-yoing her in and out of services because 'they never stuck' was damaging. A dx tells the educatioal team exactly what they are dealing with and suggests the best methods to use. The difference between sloppy handwriting and a diagnosised writing disability is worlds apart educationally. They are approached quite differently.
So, in the states, the dx is needed to gain access to services (unless you are paying out of pocket, privately) and, more importantly, the dx tells an educator and/or clinician how to approach the issues.
draelynn wrote:
Benjamin2006 wrote:
I think I have a problem with the label and the usefullness of a diagnosis.
If we believe parents instincts are anything to go by then in our case we believe our son is either just on or just off the spectrum, he is five and shows some traits but does not at this stage seem to be showing any serious dehabilitating behaviour.Of course it's early we realise it might change and he's only in school weeks-starts full days today.
My problem is more philosophical...what's the big issue with having some social impairment in a society that is flawed anyway? I could list all kinds of bad experiences and behaviours from people who are NT...it is what human beings do. Now of course I know it is all down to each individual case and clearly some children/adults need support. I think the support is the main thing,if your son can be assisted by help from elsewhere what does the label matter? It's only important that your family gets the support it requires and you are as happy as you all can be.
If we believe parents instincts are anything to go by then in our case we believe our son is either just on or just off the spectrum, he is five and shows some traits but does not at this stage seem to be showing any serious dehabilitating behaviour.Of course it's early we realise it might change and he's only in school weeks-starts full days today.
My problem is more philosophical...what's the big issue with having some social impairment in a society that is flawed anyway? I could list all kinds of bad experiences and behaviours from people who are NT...it is what human beings do. Now of course I know it is all down to each individual case and clearly some children/adults need support. I think the support is the main thing,if your son can be assisted by help from elsewhere what does the label matter? It's only important that your family gets the support it requires and you are as happy as you all can be.
I don't know how it works in the rest of the world but in the states a diagnosis can mean the difference between a 504 and an IEP. In our case we had a 504 and my daughter was getting services for all the 'surface' difficulties - the obvious things that were affecting her learning. Things like handwriting intervention - as soon as she showed improvement, the services were removed. Of course, if she was just a bit behind and needed some extra help to catch up - this would have been ideal. The diagnosis made it clear WHY that approach would not work and to keep yo-yoing her in and out of services because 'they never stuck' was damaging. A dx tells the educatioal team exactly what they are dealing with and suggests the best methods to use. The difference between sloppy handwriting and a diagnosised writing disability is worlds apart educationally. They are approached quite differently.
So, in the states, the dx is needed to gain access to services (unless you are paying out of pocket, privately) and, more importantly, the dx tells an educator and/or clinician how to approach the issues.
I can understand that I'm not sure how it works here in the UK but I suspect the differences are not as profund. We are effectively just starting out on the process but already the school is approaching him with an awareness that he may well be on the spectrum. I think that's more to do with the quality of the school. However obviously depending on the issues as junior progresses the diagnosis might well be very important.
I'm of course talking from our personal perspective at a particular juncture but for me, adults or children close to the spectrum cut off point either way present a series of complicated and paradoxical issues.