math anxiety

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her teacher said " if parents are helping their kids with their homework, i will not know that they don't understand the work....and they will be very upset when they fail the test because their parent is not there to help them with it. If they come in with work that is clearly wrong, I will know that they don't understand and try to teach it differently."..........I understand what she's saying, but it's torturous to see my daughter giving up on math at age 7 3/4.

Good heavens! Time for a conference with the principal - you don't need to be on the spectrum to realize this is outrageous for a THIRD grade child regardless of his/her condition. Do you know any other parents of children in this classroom? I think you should get together with as many as possible and then march on the school to re-educate this nitwit.

i do know other parents of kids in the class, and for whatever reason, i seem to be the only one who sees this as a problem.........this is the teachers first year as a 3rd grade teacher. she was a 4th grade teacher last year.

I think I would begin to get concerned that my child would fall behind. Unless the teacher is really working hard in the classroom to help her. If she's having these problems and the teacher is ignoring them, then I would be very angry.

[quote="ster"]daughter came home yesterday with a C on a math test ( she's in 3rd grade)....Frankly, I could care less~it shows what I've been trying to get them to notice for a long time ( she has a difficult time with math).....Daughter, however, was absolutely devastated. She barely even did her math homework ( which I can't help her with anymore because the teacher has requested that parents NOT help their kids with their homework).There was tons of crying. So frustrating trying to get anyone to help her~right now it seems that everything is hingeing on the outcome of her eval...and who knows when that will be done~the dr is supposed to visit the school on Thursday to watch her in school. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !! ![/quote

Just a thought - does she struggle with sense of direction/visual-spatial skills/poss. science/gettin gthoughts down on paper - because there is also a learning disability side to AS & that comes in the wonderful shape & size of Nonverbal learning disorder. Google it & see what you think. Apparently there is an 80% crossover between NLD & AS.

mullion~ yes, actually she does struggle with those things you've mentioned....i've actually read up on NVLD, as pre-dx for my son ,that's what we thought he had....still waiting for word from doc about official dx for daughter.

What kind of prision camp is the teacher running? Homework and ABC grades in third Grade --- YEACH!! !! !! !! !! !

Can you find another class? Math is life, fun, music, as natural as breathing. No one will ever get it by having it driven into their brain.

Maybe your daughter just needs to do things her way. I find using colored squares, dot patterns, and working to music works better than stupid numbers on paper. It also helps to think about what you are doing rather than rote memory.

If you want an LD aspie view on getting through math --- ask - -

The whole point of helping your kids with their homework is to explain things that teacher couldn't or wouldn't!!
Hehe, since my son comes home early from school (because of his tantrums) they send him home the same dittoes of math. "Since he didn't get to see it on the blackboard, he needs review"
Not only are they sending him these dittoes, but his regular homework has 25-30% of repetitive problems on them!! I fill them out myself and give him different work to do. It's usually harder and he likes doing it. Part of his "behavior" problem at school is complaining, "this is boring!".

I wish schools would teach according to level of proficiency, rather than age. I think all kids would learn a lot faster. The teachers could teach one thing at a time.

I don't know what it is that is troubling your daughter (what kind of math problems) but can you find a way to tutor her, even if you aren't handling her hand-in homework? Like go to a teacher's store and get text books that would teach the same subject in different way?
I'm using word problem math books already because I feel my son will fall behind with the language part of it.

I'm doing a similar tactic with reading comprehension too, to augment his comprehension skills.

DS loves computer games and there are quite a few on-line math games.

http://childparenting.about.com/od/mathgamesonline/ lists all sorts of games. The games really help reinforce math facts. Perhaps a few games will help her gain some confidence for now at least.

have tried to get her to do online math games~there are so many good ones out there...can't even get her to try...have given up on stupid teacher's rules...i'm going back to explaining the work, because i can't stand the tears. the main problem i had when i was explaining work to daughter, though, was that very oftne she still would not understand...i'd try 4 or 5 different ways to explain & still no comprehension. dr says 2 more weeks before dx

Are you showing her how it works? We are using a math program that I really like, it doesn't mix up addition, subtraction etc. Instead addition is taught in the first unit, the second unit is subtraction, and so forth.

It also uses manipulatives (fancy Lego-type blocks) to show why the answer is a set number (7+9= a real number, it's not just magic).

At first I thought this was incredibly simplistic, but it's really working. Then I read this:

--- source: http://kapio.kcc.hawaii.edu/upload/fullnews.php?id=52

The article talks about how the US teaches in concepts but doesn't really delve into procedure.

Also, try using "real" math - board games like Yahtzee, cooking pizza for fractions, adding ingredients to casseroles, there are lots of concrete ways to demonstrate math while working on her confidence level.

The other day my son just whined something awful about how he hates subtraction. We practiced a few problems and I had lost my answer key. Rather than hunt it down, I started working the problems next to him. When it became a race, he suddenly discovered he could do multi-digit subtraction. He has also writing issues, so I write the problems in really large numbers on a white board. I know that won't help in her class (yet), but could help you re-build some confidence.

And, yes, I know if there were only enough hours in the day...

thanks for the link to the article...it was very interesting!
i know that when i was little, i would have been much better at math if manipulatives had been available. i think maybe we'll try to play M&M math over the next few days..maybe getting to eat some M&M's in return for working on math will help. she's not even up to fractions yet, but she does help me cook & measure ingredients. right now, alot of her math problems are focused on her not memorizing her math facts (addition & subtraction), her not understanding place value, and her not understanding word problems.....i think i'll try to act out some of the math problems~that should be a hoot !
not really sure how to address place value......

Word problems definitely need a basis in "things" like beans, m&ms, coins, and pictures. I have a word problem book at home, even though they are not doing those in 1st grade yet. They should. Heck, in college I took Algebra I (again) and the book was made up of word problems.
You look at pictures and then make a "number sentence" and it means a lot more to the person having to "memorize numbers".

Does your daughter have trouble with handwriting? If so she doesn't belong in a math class, which requires excessive handwriting, without special help. I mean help all the time in the class with the writing. Anything else is setting your daughter up for emotional abuse. They have no right telling you, you can't help your child. Leaving your daughter feeling helpless. Is that what the school wants, your daughter to end up feeling so helpless she'll feel she has no choice but to assimilate, even if it means extreme emotional stress and perhaps a nervous breakdown?

Eureka! Place values=money

We just don't call it that, but in the U.S., how many pennies make a dollar (sneaking in fractions too)?

MIL started playing Monopoly with ds when he was 7 or 8 and I really didn't think he'd get into it. But he did (and she has the patience that I don't).

And, since school requires drilling (which I don't think is a bad thing), quiz her while making cookies or muffins. I know you said flashcards are a huge bust at your house, but try them without actually using them - let's see, let's mix this batter and whats 2+2, what's 2+3

Kind of build up her confidence - with my son, I knew he could do it, he had just been taught that he couldn't. I had to find ways to prove it to him.

had some success , albeit with lots of tears this evening...worked on 2 word problems from her math homework. got out whatever i could find in the kitchen for manipulatives in order to help her try to understand~i don't know that she really understood, but she sure thought it was funny that my Diet Coke was Josie from the word problem. It seems that she is so quick to try and answer the word problems, that she doesn't read to the end to see what it is the problem is asking for.....i tried to get her to skip ahead to the question the problem was asking ( a favortie technique of mine from when i was young), but she lost it and started fussing about how she had to read the problem in the order that it was written. then her NT brother came in and tried to help by telling her that she could change the words in the problem to be about things she likes ( today she tried to change the story from being about 3 children to the story being about a zebra, a horse, and a camel). Now there's nothing wrong with changing the problems to be more interesting if you can still focus on what answer you're looking for. but as soon as she figured she could focus on her current obsession , animals, math comprehension flew out the window....and then the tears , rolling around on the floor, and kicking came when i insisted that she try to refocus on the problem at hand. probably about a good 5 minutes on this tantrum. but when the tantrum finally ran its course, she finally sat back down and was able to finish the math. ( and then got to drink some of Josie ( my diet coke) !). hope this small success today will build into some bigger successes soon.