Videogames

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violet yoshi~ ????????????????????????????? i don't think any person should spend endless hours on the computer or in front of video games or tv....this includes myself. i don't think there's anything wrong with limiting the amount of time someone spends watching tv, playing computer, etc...each of my children knows that they will be afforded a fair amount of time~and i'm not saying only 20 minutes...we have one computer that is shared by the 5 of us~if we did not set limits as to how much time each of us use, then each individual in the house would be fighting for the computer all of the time.
i never said that i'd kick someone off the computer if they were in the middle of something~ sometimes bill-paying takes much longer than is expected...sometimes you can't just quit a game without getting to a safe place.....

Yes, he's learning - sometimes he needs to stop out of courtesy for others, i.e., dad needs the computer, we need to get to Scouts, the papers need to be delivered, dinner is on the table. Other times he needs to stop because he's getting too much and needs a brain break. If he takes a half hour or so and goes outside to play, then he can come back and resume gaming.

Yesterday I needed to paint the trim next to the computer. I asked him to stop for about 20 minutes so I could get in there and paint before lunch. "Just a minute mom," he said. Actually it was about five minutes, but he did save and exit. I painted while he watched a cartoon. When I was finished, he was free to return to gaming, but chose lunch first.

When I wrote about losing gaming for the day, it's only the game/system that caused the disrespect (usually anything Pokemon - something about that game affects his behavior, makes him mean). If we have to be somewhere and he refuses to save and do what needs to be done, then that game is retired for the day. He can still play a computer game, just not the one that interfered with family.

But, he's learning to be more respectful of his family and the "grounding" almost never happens anymore.

Ok thanks for explaining that three2camp. I just thought, it was one of those..where if there's a game where you need to get to a certian area to save..or something, it was more like "Sorry.." and turning off the game system. You actually are really much more tolerant about that then most parents. I just find the whole grounding thing, akin to imprisonment. I don't really see what it proves, but if it worked for you, and you're not doing it now. Ok.

Sorry this was a double post, the SQL server was going out right when I was trying to post.

Last edited by violet_yoshi on 08 Oct 2006, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There are also kids who do not respond to grounding. I was very depressed as a child so there weren't any activities to deny and to say stay in your room would have been a pleasure (lol). I find that with some kids on the spectrum too - if they are at that important stage where a child who has been isolating is reaching out through an activity than don't mess with it until they have sufficiently become self aware. That is why I find ABA to be so cruel - they look for anything the child with autism might love and use it to try and manipulate them.

I agree with your views on ABA. It's just sometimes I also will see parents take away things, or options for the child to do what they love. Based on ignorance and/or feeling that being completely autocratic and unwilling to move when they've made their decision for their child, is going to help their child. I don't understand that who thing, and neither do my parents, I think being overly autocratic just will make the child feel trapped and want to run away.

Are there any Video Games that have Routemasters?
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Vroom Vroom! Ding! Ding!

We have just allowed gaming in our home. The teenager games 24/7 in his mother's home so we felt it was helpful for him to have face-time in our home. the 10 yo doesn't have much spare time -- actually having a TV and a game platform was exciting to him until he realized he barely managed 30 minutes a aday until the 3 yo discovered the games. Oh heavens. If he has an accident in his brother's room, he is not allowed to return to the games until the next day. We have no fighting or violent games (crazy taxi?) and I have found that this is the most meaningful way to move forward -- he has elmo for n64 which he mastered in minutes. I also tell him that we need to do this next...after we play the game 1 or two more times and this seems to be comfortable. Even the 10 yo said that the 3 yo was gaming too much -- he went from 6pm until 2 am. He also loves yoshi even though it would seem to be overstimulating. I find Yoshi's island harder to take sensory wise than a restaurant, but he doesn't.
As an aside, we just don't take him out much or we take him to a place where we know there is a play area so he can focus on what he likes (Thomas the train) so we can do what we need to do. It' sinteresting b/c my OT for the 3 yo was always on my case, and my main problem in her eyes was that I was too accomodating of the 3 yo's behavior. There has not, until now, been any idea that anything was going on besides bad parenting.
Bright blessings, Jo