Will he hate me?

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In the autism classroom I work in. We have the kids do school work towrords something they want to play with or something fun. We have this board were they have to get 5 to 7 stars to do what stated before. Children have to do learning chose. In which each one completed they get a star. You chould do this with your son. Have him play pineo get a star, have him take a bath get a star etc. We use it in the young children classroom too.

Hello,

I feel for you, too, because I sometimes wonder the same thing myself. I think, "When he gets older, he's going to need therapy for all the damage I unintentionally caused him." My son is ten years old and has autism. He spends almost all his time by himself and he is absolutely content. It is so hard to pull him out of his inner world once he's in it. He spends hours playing with his Thomas the Train sets (crashing them and making "accidents"), watching tv (for hours if I let him), watching train crashes on Youtube, and playing his Wii video games. His entire motivation is based on avoiding any social contact with people outside our immediate family.

I force him to do things like go outside and ride his bike, play with neighborhood kids (he does well with very young kids (4-6 yrs. old, but absolutely panics with peers), go on family outings to the park, etc. I feel badly knowing that these are things he doesn't want to do, but I think I have to keep drawing him out instead of letting him retreat into his own world.

Some days I am totally depressed because I've yelled at him and said very, very mean things to him and that is why I think he'll need therapy to undo what I've done. Sigh. Some days are better than others, but I just have to keep trying and not give up.

You hang in there, too.

The Bolded sums up how I feel. I CANNOT allow him to sit all day watching you tube videos of Mario and Luigi. And that is all he likes to do. I can hardly get him to play with toys anymore. The more electronics time he has, the harder it is to pull him back to the real world. He gets aggressive, he will yell, try to bite me, head butt me, it is like the communicative Jayden is gone, and I am left with his urge to fight me off.

Recently, we had a very uncharacteristic warm day in Jan, so warm and sunny we decided to take the kids to play at the park. My 2yo was THRILLED, my son...not so much. He complained, bargained, begged, and complained some more. But we explained that he could come home and play his games AFTER the park. Finally we got him to leave, and when we went to the park he had a GREAT time. He was all smiles, he even joined in with some boys and played tag. The kids looked about his age too, which is HUGE for him, who normally gravitates towards 1yos.

I KNOW if I can get him to just DO the activity he has a great time. Its just all the arguing, negotiating, etc..to get him to comply that drives me INSANE!! !

I want to say glad to see I am not alone with this issue, but glad doesnt seem like the right word!

thanks again for the responses.

Hi Dara,
Your note made me smile. Yes, I think we have to keep trying to engage them. Although my son puts up a fight, once he finally starts doing the activity, he ends up enjoying it. It's the getting him to do it that's so hard!! ! Please keep in touch. I'd like to know how you're doing with your son.