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child innocently contradicting teacher

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Kailuamom
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02 Feb 2012, 11:14 am

annotated_alice wrote:
I agree with the PP's that pointed out that this is a social rule, and some excellent tips on how to teach it. However I also wanted to say that it would not be OK to me for a teacher to "shriek" or "yell" at my child, especially at my Aspie child for unwittingly breaking a social rule. This is completely inappropriate no matter how much stress the teacher was under. Teachers are supposed to model good behaviour for their students, and to use mistakes as teaching opportunities. I would want to go in and talk to this teacher and make it clear that yelling at my child (or any child!) is unacceptable.


I agree one million percent!



Curiotical
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22 Jul 2012, 11:28 am

I cannot stand teachers who feel it is acceptable to punish innocent people for the actions of others. If I were you, I'd speak to this teacher and let them know how inappropriate their behaviour was. :evil:



greenmamma
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22 Jul 2012, 10:18 pm

I would have a meeting with the teacher and the principal with my child present.
There is a certain twisted logic to punishing a group for the actions of one (peer pressure and such) but it never really works out to punish the innocent.
The big issue is yelling/shrieking at your child. That was wrong more than the punishment of the whole class.


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thewhitrbbit
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23 Jul 2012, 1:12 am

I hated this when I was a child, I had a 1st grade teacher who loved group punishment. I've since learned that sometimes group punishment in education is the only option.

I commend your daughter for understanding right vs wrong, and for speaking out. I also agree with the comments on time and place.

When I consider picking a battle; I ask myself

1.) What is the goal?
2.) What are the odds of winning?
3.) What resources do I have to win?
4.) What are the risks if I loose?



Heidi80
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23 Jul 2012, 4:14 am

Congratulations, you have a very brave little aspie. :D Speaking up when you notice something is wrong is important. Sure, some stupid people might hate you for it, but I feel it's always right to protest when you percieve something as wrong.



OddFiction
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23 Jul 2012, 7:36 am

Kid was right. Teacher was wrong.
BUT teacher was in a tough situation, and her choice to punish all was not evil intent.

Kid should be taught that when faced with a 'moral wrong feeling' needs to ask self
1) What is the wrongdoer's motivation
2) Do I need to provide examples/trivia/data as a first wave of response


I've learned that providing backup data to prove my opinion is a 'second stage' in any arguement or discussion. When you jump past the first stage ("excuse me teacher, but I feel wronged" or "please explain why you are doing this" would be the first stage) people get defensive faster, because they don't see the 'hard facts' stage coming, and they feel it as an attack that bypassed the 'warning' stage.

1) "can you clarify please?"
if it still feels wrong, escalate:
2) "I feel that is wrong, and have reasons for that feeling. Why do you feel right?"
if it still feels wrong, escalate:
3) Provide trivia and backup data
if it still feels wrong, back up and find an authority to sort it out.